The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998


September 25, 2006

This weeks Editorial reflects shows that aired from September 18 - 22. The weeks, for my listening pleasure (Lord knows there isn't much pleasure on AMC lately!), I'm starting off with U2 The Unforgettable Fire, followed by Moonshine Willy Pecadores (that's my cousin Kim's band), Franz Ferdinand (self titled), The Police Synchronicity (I'm feeling a little retro today), and rounding it off with Garbage (also self titled).

On a personal note, before I begin the snark, I want to thank everyone for their kind words regarding the devastating loss of my kitty Boris on July 20. I continue to receive such sweet sentiments and it means so much to me. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and miss him. Loneliness is a hard thing. My husband Nick and I both felt so lonely without him. With all that love to give, we decided to open our home and our hearts to some new kitty babies. Say hello to Murphy (as in Peter, my fave singer) and Jett (as in Joan, Nick's fave singer). They are 4 months old and came into our lives on the day we lost Boris. No, they didn't come into our home that day, but we met them that day. A few months later, our vet called and asked if we might be ready to bring some new kitties home. We were, and we weren't. It still feels a little weird having kitties in the house that aren't Boris and Natasha. But Murphy (left) and Jett (right) are the cutest and the sweetest babies! They are, like Boris and Natasha, brother and sister but that is where the similarities end. They look similar but most of the time we can tell them apart (unless it's dark). Murphy is bigger and with darker stripes and Jett is little and pale gray and has some beige on her. We are certainly enjoying them! If you want to read more about what an adventure it was when we went to pick them up, you can check out my MySpace page. There is music on it, so if you are at work, you may want to turn your volume down before you click it!

On with the show. Can you believe it, Jack has decided to stop being a major asshole. All it took was Lily almost being raped and going inside herself so deep that she's unreachable. But it happened. Don't get me wrong, Jack has every right and plenty of reasons to not like Jonathan and to try his very best to protect his special needs child from someone with Jonathan's history. But he still has plenty to apologize and atone for. Starting with trying to have Lily declared incompetent to suit his own agenda. At this point, with Ryan (ok, he has no reason to trust him), Erica, Lily and Amanda all telling him that Jonathan truly loves Lily and is looking out for her, Jack decided that ruining his own relationship with his daughter was worth getting her away from Jonathan. And then when Jonathan came to warn him that Terry was on the loose, Jack wouldn't hear any of it. But Jack honey, that is all water under the bridge because like the fickle fan I am, the minute you did something I liked, you were back in my good graces! Jack apologized to Jonathan. And kudos to Jonathan for being the bigger man and actually accepting Jack's apology (after a brief bit of understandable skepticism) and offer of help. I loved it when Jonathan said to him, "Maybe this is what we all need, huh? A second chance, for all of us."

Now all they need to do is convince Ryan that Jack is sincere. Jack continues to impress me when he actually admits that he has continued to hold a grudge because he never got over what Braden did to his sister Kit. If you recall, Kit was raped and for awhile it was thought that Ryan did it. But it was his brother Braden. Of course, he didn't mention holding that grudge against Ryan for skipping out on Greenlee, but I'm sure that is a big part of his Lavery hate. At any rate, Jack makes moves to make amends and put the past behind them and I'm happy about it. He eventually wins them over and decides to take Jonathan's case. When exactly Jack started practicing law again is one of those pesky little details that the folks in charge over at AMC seem to think we won't remember or care about. So while he's taking care of legal issues, Jack asks Jonathan to go see Lily and see if he can bring her around.

Jonathan pulls out all the stops in trying to bring Lily around, but it's no use. He plays their song, whatever that was. He brings her the hanky that they held hands with. He talks to her and he continues to assure her that she is safe while Amanda watches with that love twinkle in her eye. Unfortunately Jonathan is not who Lily wants to see and while he is talking to her she is dreaming of a lot of upsetting situations... a red room, Terry, Jonathan lying to her, and that horror show that is Chyna, Chantal and Autumn otherwise known as the "hot girls." Isn't it sad and rather pathetic that AMC tends to go for the biggest cliche of the day when portraying teens? What I mean is when Chyna, Chantal and Autumn were on previously, it was when the movie Mean Girls was so popular. Today we have insipid teens fashioned after the MTV show My Super Sweet 16 with a dab of Paris and Nicole thrown in. So so sad. But I digress. Ultimately Lily dreams of her father and being safe with him and she comes back. But she is not happy to see Jonathan and a shattered Jonathan leaves Lily, saying he will never bother her again.

Speaking of insipid teens... to avoid charges for crashing the yacht and injuring many, Colby is hiding in the tunnels at Chandler Mansion. Can someone please put Colby out of my misery!!! I don't know how much of this crap I can take. There is no sympathy factor with her. I mean really, she mauls Sean then suddenly we're supposed to feel sorry for the little skank? For what!? Being a spoiled brat who has some unreal sense of entitlement? Even Krystal's explanation to Sydney fell flat on me. The girl is insecure? So freakin what. If she had an ounce of substance I might care. As it is, she does not. She screwed Sean because she saw him kissing Sydney and she had to one up her. The end.

Eventually Jack works his magic and is able to get both Jonathan and Annie freed with no charges. Whatever. There are so many things wrong with how it was handled but I just don't have the time or the inclination to analyze the legalities of all this crap. I'll just say it was lame, unrealistic and stupid. But I'm still glad it's done.

With Colby missing, JR apparently feels bad about it but won't tell anyone, especially Babe. In fact, he downright ignores her and Babe knows it's happening. She watches as Adam leans on Krystal and she is there for him, to soothe and comfort. She's feeling left out but she keeps trying to get JR to open his heart and emotions to her. He won't, and when she continues to ask him if she can help him he goes so far as to say, "How many times have I told you I don't need you?" Ouch. The differences between Josh and JR are becoming more and more apparent to Babe. Josh actually needs her, seeks out her help and her comfort. JR is cold as ice. I honestly don't know what she expects from a guy who tried to kill her but that's besides the point. Waiting in the wings is Josh. Babe is getting worried about having to constantly resist the studly love muffin that is Josh and has decided that he can no longer work at FUSION if she expects to ever get some work done and not just have Josh as her love slave fantasies.

After Babe tells Josh that she is firing him from FUSION he skulks off and the SCENE OF THE WEEK begins with Kendall telling Babe that she understands now how you forgive the unforgivable. You don't. Four women... Kendall, Danielle, Simone and Babe, all bonding in friendship and commiserating over past relationships. AMC is sorely lacking in female friendships so I'll take any moment I can get. Simone even got to talk about Ethan, which is great. We know she's not over him yet. But oops, Erin wasn't there to join in, than again, did anyone really notice?

Everyone knows Babe and Josh are shooting sparks whenever they see each other and now Kendall is starting to see Ryan in that old familiar light. Two storylines almost exactly the same, and the folks in charge don't even try to hide it. In fact, they highlight their own lack of creativity by going back and forth from the storylines. First we see Kendall and Ryan hooting it up at ConFusion while Babe and Josh work up at FUSION. The knowing glances, the "accidental" touching. It's kind of sad and pathetic. Heck we may even end up with a third storyline that is exactly same... Krystal, Tad, Adam. How about a fourth... Jonathan, Lily, Amanda.

As I sit here, I keep trying to come up with a good reason for Babe to be such a huge skankola with Josh. I mean aside from the fact that JR is a raging prick and tried to kill her. She took him back despite those things so this turn as Josh's love bunny is mostly on her. She's felt neglected for about 5 minutes and Josh is there looking gorgeous and being understanding. Hmm, come to think of it, who could blame her! JR, for his part, knows damn well that Josh is after his wife so telling her you don't need her is probably not the best move he could make. But then again, that is no reason for Babe to jump into the arms of another man. Oh I'm just all over the map with them. I like Babe and Josh together, and I hate JR with a burning passion. So it's kind of hard for me to take his side. Especially when he's being an ass to her anyway. But fine... ok, Babe is VERY wrong to do what she is doing with Josh, no matter how big of an asshole JR is. She made her bed, so to speak, by sticking by him. Suck it up Babe.

Josh seems to know he's got Babe now and he professes his love for her once again and the two kiss passionately. But she has a moment of conscious and leaves Josh at FUSION and decides to go home to JR. But JR isn't home. He's out being an asshole to everyone in his wake... Kendall, Ryan, Amanda, Jamie, Krystal. I don't know what Babe's plan was, probably to make love to JR again because Josh got her so hot and bothered she couldn't stand it. But since JR's not home, she goes back to Josh and gives into the passion. I have one word for you Babe... vibrator. Live it, learn it. You don't go boinking the gorgeous friend just because you're horny and lonely for a few hours! Josh, surprisingly, does ask Babe if she's sure. Oh she's sure, the girl is on fire and can't wait to get it on with Josh. Heck they don't even leave, they just do it on the floor at FUSION. Then Josh takes her up to the roof and they go for a dip in a kiddy pool. Wow, that was really dumb. But whatever. Babe is happy and laughing and not feeling anything but the glow of new sex. I guess she learned nothing for that whole Jamie fiasco.

And over at ConFusion, while his wife is getting it on with Josh right upstairs, JR is being a creepy loser asshole jerk by taunting Kendall and Ryan. Is it not enough that he almost killed her and her baby, now he has to taunt her about Zach? Ugh. I hate him. And then he gets all up in Amanda's face for not keeping Derek busy long enough so they could leave with the disk and actually has the audacity to blame Amanda for Dixie being arrested. Of course, everyone thinks JR is completely off his nut with such ludicrous accusations. Jamie and Jonathan defend her and then Amanda delivers this week's LINE OF THE WEEK to JR when she says, "You know, you deserve to get busted on the sole grounds you're an ass." Amen sister friend! He finally leaves to go home and be with the wife he doesn't need only to find out she is not home.

Ryan takes home a kind of tipsy Kendall after her scene with JR, and tells her that she deserves love and respect, not secrets. He tells her that if Zach can't see how devoted she is to him then maybe he doesn't deserve her. Uh oh... Kendall is falling for it. Damn the women on the show are weak. Kendall tells Ryan she wants to love him. Shouldn't the words "I want to love you" have been a big clue. She didn't say I love you, she said she wants to love him. She wants to love the guy who will be there for her but she can't help it, she still loves Zach. But still she tells Ryan she wants to devote herself to him, but Ryan knows Kendall still loves Zach. Just then we are treated (NOT) to a visit by The Faithless Whore (aka Dixie) who was lurking in the shadows watching Ryan and Kendall. She has the freakin nerve to tell Kendall that she came by to get some of Zach's things to take to the prison for him. Then the nervy ho says that she wants to prove to Zach that Kendall is not worth it. OMG, right then and there Kendall should have slapped the crap out of Dixie! I don't know how she didn't, but since she didn't, I will. And I'm bringing back an old favorite, the old name of the award is back!!!! This week, the DIXIE COONEY MARTIN COMMEMORATIVE SLAP AWARD goes to none other than it's namesake. Ryan tells TFW off and says what I was definitely thinking, instead of spying on Kendall, she should be focusing on her own freedom.

Once TFW is gone, Kendall tells Ryan that she does love him and then kisses him passionately. Things get a little more heated and Ryan tells Kendall that if they make love, then it's for keeps and he will fight for her. Kendall backs off and leaves to collect her thoughts. When she returns she tells Ryan that she does love him, but no matter how mad she is at Zach right now, she loves him too and wants it to work. Ryan tells Kendall that he won't take advantage of her and when they are together he wants her to want only him. Good man.

Random comments:

Zach went apeshit in his cell so Derek had to stun gun him. Honestly, I can't even remember what this was all about, and don't even care.

Julia broke up with Jamie because she thinks she may be in love with him. Jamie thinks he may be in love with her, but thinks she is trying to keep things casual. Whatever.

Jeff wants to get to know Erica better.

Krystal tells Tad they made a mistake when they had sex and she is truly in love with Adam. Famous last words because if you read spoilers, you know what happens!

Annie is grateful to Jonathan for killing Terry.

With Colby missing, there has not been one mention of Liza or Marian. Everyone knows that Pine Valley news is national news so a Chandler missing must be international news! Liza must have heard something.


I know this was a short and not all that interesting Editorial. Given the material I had to work with last week, is it any wonder! Anyway, I mainly wrote today so I could address something important. Something I call a travesty of epic proportions. AMC has decided to let Vincent Irizarry (Dr. David) go. As I type it, I still can't even believe it. The shock has not worn off. Campaigns and petitions are in full swing as fans are boggled by such a decision. David is a character who is connected to almost everyone on the show. Truly. Let's run it down.

Anyone I have missed he probably has some kind of peripheral connection to. He is a doctor, a world renowned cardiologist I'll have you know. He saves lives dammit! And in his spare time, he cooks up interesting new drugs right in his cabin and tests them on unwitting people at the most inappropriate times. He is a necessary link in the fabric of Pine Valley. He is a villain who does despicable things but yet has a way of making it understandable. He is charm personified. He has many more lives to save, and many more women to conquer. David is not done in Pine Valley, no.. he is just beginning! There is so much more for him to do! Yet the company line on his dismissal is "storyline and budgetary." People say that ABC has plenty of money and that the "budgetary" reason is a cop out. Well, at the moment the last thing I want to do is defend AMC, but budgetary is a very real reason. ABC may have tons of money, but that doesn't mean they allot much of it to daytime. They don't. In fact, I believe that soaps are dying a very slow death. But I think many of us would agree that the budgetary problem would be easily remedied by getting rid of the dead weight on the show. My plan for that is to let go of Sydney, Colby, Sean and Annie to start with. Since Jamal is already leaving, we can forget the idea of a recast there and give that role to Reggie. It should have been his in the first place and why it wasn't is something I will never understand. It's not out of the realm of possibility to have Reggie become involved in an underground network helping women. We never learned enough about his life before and it would easily fit that his mother was abused. And a law student... easy, Jack is a lawyer and having Reggie want to follow in his footsteps is a total no brainer. That would have kept the wonderful Michael B. Jordan on the show in the first place.

But back to David. By getting rid of four characters that have little to no point (Colby, Sean, Sydney, Jamal) and one that could have easily had a recurring/temporary role (Annie), frees up some of those budgetary issues. And don't even go there with storyline issues with me. There are infinite possibilities for storylines for a character such as David. If ever there is a cop out reason, that is the one. We've waited for David to find love again. For someone to come into his life and look past his evil deeds and see the vulnerable man inside who wants love but doesn't know how to treat it once he does have it. How can this amazing actor and character leave Pine Valley? David is a very rare character. A unique character. How can anyone justify this letting go of his marvelous character in favor of insipid and shallow teens who bring nothing of interest to the show? The last time I saw the ratings, AMC was next to last. Only Passions was lower in the ratings. Getting rid of one of the most interesting characters on the show is not the way to boost those ratings.

If you are as incensed as I am about this unreal turn of events, please take pen to paper and write write write to the people in charge and let them know!!! You can find all the addresses you need here. Send letters, send emails, send postcards. Just SEND!!!

And on that note, AMC gets a big fat F this week!