The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


September 22, 1997

Oh sweet justice!! And for once I don't mean David - David Justice that is for all you non-baseball fans. Brooke finally got that slap I've been praying for, for months now! What is wrong with the residents of Pine Valley?! Why did it take this long? Sheesh the window of opportunity has been open for so long and it took Cool Hand Jim to deliver! Just makes me like the guy all the more. But why make him such a slimeball? I feel guilty for liking him so much. It's hard to justify liking a child pornographer so much. But then I see how easily he torments Laura just by walking in a room and I just, this guy is so cool! I just keep hoping that Jim will turn out to be the good guy, don't ask me how...I just want him to stay on this show! He seems to go between the good guy and the bad guy quite easily. He's there for Brooke as her knight in shining armor at the drop of a hat, but in the next breath, he's the big meanie threatening Laura with the big revelation. Here's a little tip Laura, tell the truth and all the threats go away. So, anyone want to guess what Gillian finds out about Laura? Um, gee...what could it be? We have to assume that Gillian stumbles across the photo's of Laura and some beefy studmuffin in some pretty compromising positions. And we can go right back to that half-wit Laura not disposing of them. That girl just proves to be more and more of a brainiac everyday, doesn't she?

OK, help me out here. While Brooke was playing bar tramp, she said something about how the crash was a month ago. By my accounts it should have been a week or 2 at the most in Pine Valley time. About a day or so after the memorial service for Maria (which was about 2 days after the crash), Eddie and Skye went to the Chandler beach house with kids in tow. So what? They stayed there and endured that wildly crazy and extremely frightening hurricane for a month???? They were at that beach house for what seemed to be about 2 days. Now, all of a sudden, it's a month later. But now that I brought it up, it might as well have been called Hurricane Poopsie, because it was about as dangerous as a toy poodle. Gee AMC, thanks for the build up and the warning on that one! At any rate, back to the bar and our strawberry blonde, Brooke. Luckily, as she is trying to pick up Mr. Transportation Authority, Mrs. Transportation Authority comes to the rescue before she makes a total fool of herself. Oops, I spoke to soon, she decides to make an even bigger fool of herself than we thought possible by coming onto her personal Sir Galahad. And true to that smooth, cool guy that he is, Jim turns her down.

My man Kevin just can't get a break, can he? He's such a wonderful soul...always looking out for others, but can't buy a break himself. I was really, really hopeful that when all didn't go as planned in the dorm room that the Queen of Denial would see the pain that I saw in his face and become the understanding friend she once was. But no, look at her this week. I'm in love and I'm so happy!!! Kelse, hon, you need to take a reality pill. Look and listen to him!!! The inevitable breaking of Kelsey's heart happens this week. Will she be able to get past it and be his friend? I hope so! And also, I hoped so hard that Kevin would take my other favorite guy, Palmer, up on his offer to talk to him whenever he needed it. When is Palmer going to find out that Kevin's shrink is Dr. Chapman anyway? I'm waiting for that day!

So that brings us to the new younger, tanner and longer haired Adam and Stuart Chandler. My, but their vacation did wonders for the complexion, didn't it? Who knew Pigeon Hollow was the place to go for a little nip and tuck? I don't know about this extremely sudden about face that Adam had. It's very suspicious. One minute he's telling Liza he doesn't believe her, then off to the hospital for a little telling off from Ruth and then TA DA!! ...he believes Liza after all. What did it? Was it the fact that Ruth believes the baby to be Adam's and being as she's Tad's mother, she should know the truth? Was it that she brought up GloHo's baby dying tragically due to his bullheadness? I don't know, but it seems to have happened way too fast. And that brings me to the theory. Liza can't stop saying how perfect the baby is, how it's progressing normally. Yet, she's constantly yelling at Adam, stressing, and looking so upset. I think this may be another premature birth in the works. But this time, the baby will survive. I believe Liza to be about 5-6 months pregnant (and not showing, strange). But, let's think this through. Liza is constantly on the prowl for a human interest story. She will become her own human interest story fighting for the survival of her premature infant. I have no idea if this will happen, I'm just guessing.

Twiddle Dumb and Twiddle Dumber are still investigating the crash. These two just make me happy for the fast forward button. Hayley is going to threaten Miles this week...with what?? Miles at first impression isn't bad, hope he ends up being a pawn and not a bad guy - give Belinda a life and some fun for a change! And who does Mateo think he is trying to tap into hospital records? Disco Dimmie? Doesn't he know that there's such a thing as a password to get into computer systems? Oh wait, Dim didn't need one. I guess passwords are just for people that the writers feel shouldn't get access. And speaking of Dumb and Dumber, let's talk about Jake and Allie for a minute. They seem to give out patient information at the drop of a hat! Mateo bursts into an examining room where Allie has an airline worker and in about 2 seconds she convinces this airline man that Mateo is OK and he can talk to him. Puh-lease!!! What would her number one cheerleader, Dr. Joe, say about those ethics? Or the ethics of Junior Dr. Joe for that matter, running into Holidays and telling about the airline worker being in the emergency room in the first place? YIKES!

OK...without further ado, it's time for the I NEED TO BE SLAPPED AWARD. It was a tough competition this week. Brooke was my primo candidate, and then, well...she got smacked, so I had to find another person. Let's see, should it be Barbara? She was so annoying this week with her demands, her yelling, and that wretched hair of hers. Should it be Erica? She "obsessed" as Myrtle put it, about the plane crash and how she robbed Maria of that precious time with her daughter for all of 5 minutes then was back to the ME ME ME personality that is so Erica. Or what about Kelsey going for a second win in a row, something no one else has achieved other than Brooke. She obviously didn't learn her lesson with Bobby and she just never gave sleeping with Kevin a second thought. Yes, the situation is much different, but what a moron! She is the Delusion Queen, no doubt about it, especially after this week and her talk of picnics on the dorm room floor and such. Nope, none of these people win the award this week although they all could have easily. How about Mary, the Wildwind maid who just decided, to heck with it...I'll diss the boss? It was my understanding that Mary was a new addition to the Wildwind staff and that means she would have had no contact with Dimitri from when he lived there. So why the easy disloyalty to Edmund? But none of these are my winner this week. That honor goes to the writers of AMC. They all need to be slapped for even thinking about getting rid of Skye! I think that Skye has much more trouble to cause in Pine Valley and could easily have gotten out of the mess she is in. Admittedly, I was not a fan of Skye or Carrie Genzel in the beginning and I don't like what she has done. But Carrie has come a long way and proved herself to be a very good addition to the AMC cast. It's too bad the writers can't find a way to write her another storyline.