The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


September 10, 2002

Well kids, it's been far too long! We have much to discuss. This week I'm going for upbeat, so I put in some of my favorite happy music. In the cd changer today, B-52's "Time Capsule" (I saw the video for "Legal Tender" on We are the 80's on VH-1 Classic the other day and have not been able to get the B-52's out of my head since!), "School House Rock ROCKS!" (this cd came out in '96 and are remakes of old School House Rock songs done by alternative bands and singers. The actual School House Rock shorts recently came out on DVD. I highly recommend you pick it up! It's a terrific blast from the past. You won't believe how much of those songs you actually remember!), Redd Kross "Show World" (one of my all time favorite bands, you can't get more upbeat than Redd Kross!!), "Saturday Morning Cartoons Greatest Hits" (I know, I've got some weird stuff don't I? These are also done by alternative bands - why they don't have the Dickies doing "Gigantor" is beyond me though), and Deee-Lite "World Clique" (it just makes you want to dance!!!)

Maria... Pine Valley has just met a girl named Maria!!! (damn, I should have put in my West Side Story soundtrack!). This storyline, while soapy and cliche with the whole amnesia bit, has been so interesting to me! Again, I'm in the dark as to what people are talking about when they say this storyline has dragged on and on. HUH? It was common knowledge that Eva LaRue Callahan did not want to return to AMC full time until mid-July (for filming, which put her at full time airing around the first or second week of August). She returned sporadically at the beginning of June. I don't even consider the glimpses and glimmers of her to be part of the storyline. It was a tease. Once Eva came on board full time, this storyline kicked into overdrive! The whole thing, if you really want to break it down, took a month! Remember boys and girls, soaps are not about instant gratification.

So let's start with Maria bunking with Aiden. Having found Maria alone in the park after being mugged, Aiden comes to her rescue and keeps her a secret in his lovely palatial suite at the Pine Cone Motel. Kendall is starting to snoop around, knowing that Aiden is hiding someone. Little did she know that it was actually Maria, who had, at this point, taken Maddie from Wildwind. Kendall is being her usual very obnoxious self and taunting Aiden with how much he wants her. You know, that bit is getting really old. When she finally does find out that it's Maria, she turns them in by calling the cops because for some reason Kendall is hell bent on thinking that Aiden kidnapped them. Maria runs, leaving Maddie. Aiden gets arrested. Kendall just won't shut up. Later she calls Donald Steele to give him a big scoop about how she thwarted a kidnapping. Whatever Kendall.

Meanwhile, at Wildwind while relaxing on the UGS, Edmund tells Mateo and Hayley that Maria is alive. Once again and say how much I absolutely LOVE NuMateo. For the first time in the history of the character, I like him! But I digress... As Edmund explains to them that Brooke knew that Maria was alive, NuMateo gets very upset that she withheld such important information from them all. But Hayley wants to give her the benefit of the doubt. She remembers that Brooke told her that Maria was back and Hayley blew her off, thinking she meant that she couldn't compete with the ghost of Maria still hovering around Wildwind. It was kind of weird that Hayley blew her off that way actually. Brooke confided in her not too long ago and told her all about Maureen Gorman and her trips to Nevada.

Edmund gets word that Maria and Maddie were found, but that Maria has eluded the cops. Once Maddie is safely returned home gushing about her Angel Mommy, Hayley takes her up to bed while Edmund and NuMateo head out to try and find Maria. After a short time, NuMateo comes back and decides he has to tell his mother what is going on. BIG SLAP OF THE WEEK goes to the writers of AMC for making this poignant moment take place on the phone, off screen.

Kathy jumps on her soapbox

Are they really so clueless as to have not known how important it was to see Isabella learn that her beloved daughter is alive? Hey writers, do you have any idea how amazing Soccoro Santiago is!? The scenes she has recently played should have told you she is, if you didn't already know. How disappointing. She is absolutely wonderful. Remember the mausoleum scene when Maria was hiding and listening to her? Powerful powerful stuff! And how about her chemistry with NuMateo. They are so natural and believable whenever they have a scene together. While I'm at it, I'm going to go ahead and give Isabella this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK AWARD. Take a clue AMC, put her on contract and give her more to do! Stop wasting this talent.

Kathy jumps off her soapbox

Edmund searches the grounds and continually finds himself back at the tack room, the sight of the very first time he and Maria made love. Wouldn't you know it, Maria actually shows up there and sees him. She calls his name with a smile "Edmund." You almost think for a minute that she knows him, Edmund thinks so too as he goes to her and pulls her into his arms. It's this weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK, even though it doesn't go exactly as hoped. Soon enough Maria explains that she does not know him at all, but knows that he is her husband and that he's been looking for her. Edmund feels she knows on some level, since she came to the tack room too. But Maria tells him that he is a stranger, she doesn't connect with him. She tells him she really wants to remember but is afraid. Edmund vows to help her and tells her about their wedding and their life together... how much in love they were. Maria tells Edmund that she doesn't know if she can ever give him back the life they shared and wants to know just exactly where Brooke fits in. But Edmund tells her that he never stopped loving her. Suddenly it all becomes too much for Maria and she passes out.

Meanwhile, in Brooke's world... Aunt Phoebe is conspicuously absent. If Brooke ever needed her, it was right now. But she's got the next best thing I guess, other than her aunt, her daughter or her son... she has Tad. Tad tries desperately to be goofy and make her laugh. But Brooke is in the middle of her own big pity party and doesn't want to be cheered up. Tad tries to tell Brooke to cut herself a break, but she won't. She believes she deserves for everyone to hate her. Tad reminds her that she's human and allowed to make mistakes. Granted, this was a whopper! I've gone through all the same arguments with this.... is this totally and completely out of character for Brooke? Have the writers made a huge mistake? Is the character ruined? And my POV on this is no, she isn't ruined. Was it out of character, I guess so. But in some weird way, I understand it. Brooke wanted the happy ending for herself for a change. She wasn't thinking about the children, she was putting herself first for the first time in a very long time. I believe that, if Maria hadn't shown up when she did, Brooke would have soon cracked under the pressure anyway because she is not a bad person. She could not have kept Maria from her life. She would have stepped aside. But, that doesn't excuse what she did either. The family... Edmund, Mateo, Isabella (and the unseen Rosa) shouldn't just forgive her that easily. True, it was because of her suspicious nature that Maria was even found. But right now, the fact that she didn't tell them is more important than the fact that she found Maria.

Speaking of Rosa... if you watched the wedding of Brooke and Edmund carefully, when they panned to Isabella, you could see a girl sitting next to her with long dark hair. You could only see her arm and a small part of her head with her hair cascading over her shoulder. And there you have Rosa! And while I'm on this, I think it's great when little bits of former characters are addressed on these occasions. Edmund received a telegram from Dimitri and Alex with regrets that they could not be at his wedding. But what about Anita? Why is she never heard from at all?

And then there was David. Oh David, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. Knowing that David knows Maria, and has kept her a secret, Anna had him placed under house arrest, and confined to his Valley Inn suite. This does not make Dr. Devious too happy and he immediately starts cooking up a way to get out of the room so he can hide his research. You see, David did some experimental and illegal treatment on Maria. This could account for her memory loss since she seemed to know who she was when David found her, as she called for Edmund during the flashback scenes. David tricks the guard who had been placed outside of his room and injects her with something that knocks her out. David then races out of the room and straight to Liza's. Once there, he tells her she has to hide his research or they are both going to go to jail. It's a little confusing, but if you recall... when Liza was suffering with a brain tumor, David tricked her into signing papers for Chandler Enterprises to fund his research. That David, he's more than devious, he's also shrewd and insidious! With little time to argue, Liza agrees but vows to get out of whatever he's gotten her into.

Just as he's about to leave he opens the door only to see Anna. She had an APB out on him after finding out he escaped by drugging the officer. He was found, and she told the officers not to apprehend him, she wanted that pleasure for herself. What happens next is so classic David. Anna asks him where Maria is, to which he replies that he does not know and would just like to go home and hold her in his arms. A look of total shock and disbelief come across David's face as Anna cuffs and arrests him. This is one of those things that just makes me love David no matter what he has done. He honestly does not ever believe he's done anything wrong. He is truly shocked that his wife, the chief of police, would arrest him for drugging an officer. David feels that no matter what he has done, it should be overlooked because, and I quote, "I SAVE LIVES!!!" The guys is priceless!

Greenlee receives a call from the Bulletin (I guess it was me!) telling her and Leo that David has been arrested, so Leo races off to jail to see if he could help his brother. David is having his own little pity party behind bars and urges Leo to get out of town and away from their tainted family for good. But Leo instead drops another bombshell on David and tells him that they have a new brother.. James A Kenyon (Trey) III !!

Here's a little tidbit... first a great use of history that is soon followed by a large flub and lack of history. Anna confides to Jack that she is at the end of her rope with David. She tells him how he knew what she went through and that she knows what it's like to be Maria. She goes on to say that David knows how upsetting it was for her to be away from her child all those years. He gave no regard to Maria's children being away from their mother. Very true, Anna does know. And before I get to the flub, why the hell isn't she with her kid!? I know I've said this before but it bugs the crap out me. She can sit there and boo hoo about all the lost years with her daughter that she can't get back, but now that she has a chance to be with her, she isn't. Ugh. Anna decides she is going to divorce David. And later David tells her that he will tell his wife the whole truth, but Anna informs him that she is no longer his wife. There's that look again!

And here's the flub... at the hospital, Jack is again talking with Anna, this time about Maria. At the time, Maria has refused to see Edmund and he walked past them very dejected and sad. Jack says, "I cannot imagine the hell that man is going through." Oh come on Jack, sure you can! You sister Christine (aka Kit) returned from the dead not too long ago! How soon we forget.

After being released on bail, David goes to Liza's to get his research back but this time Liza is ready for him and refuses to give it back to him. I love when Liza plays hardball with anyone. She is not a wuss, it's great when the writers remember that and give her some guts. So she has turned the tables on David and counter blackmails him into helping her get revenge on Adam. That has got to be the oldest song on the show! I was just talking about Liza having balls, why doesn't she just divorce Adam already and be done with it! This is sickening already!

Geez, this is getting long and I'm not even close to being done! Stay with me folks!

Upset that Liza humiliated him in front of Laurie, and then found David in his house with Liza, JR heads to the park to try and score some drugs. Kendall just happens to be there and tells him that drugs are not the answer he's looking for and that Ryan would be very disappointed in him. JR lashes out at her and tells her that it's all her fault that Ryan is gone. It's true, she is and Kendall admits it among a flurry of tears. JR moves in to comfort her and BAM, they start making out!!!! If you think I'm going to give this the "pass the handbag" moment, you're wrong! I thought this was HOT HOT HOT!!!! These two were sizzling and my TV screen started smokin!! Oh yes, mid to late 20's Kendall and 17ish JR, be still my 36 year old heart! It's about time an older woman gets a young hottie! Kendall honey, just do us all a favor and wait till he's 18 before you bang him.

MEANINGLESS DRIVEL OF THE WEEK - Erica seems to think that Chris is her personal slave and pitches a hissy when he doesn't show up for their photo shoot. Does anyone care about any of this!?

Let's back up to the big Trey reveal that he is another spawn of Vanessa. This time the evidence seems to point to Richard Fields being Trey's father. Interesting turn of events, but not yet confirmed. I think it's so though. Leo decides to play up to Trey and offer his support. Greenlee is suspicious and wants a DNA test, but Leo blows her off and listens as Trey tells them about his horrible childhood going from foster home to foster home. And evidently, according to Trey, this is all Vanessa's fault. Why does AMC insist on creating adoptees with an axe to grind? I wonder if Sammy will hate Kelsey and Bobby in a few years. Leo wants to know who Trey's father is and wonders if maybe they have the same father too. But Trey has no idea who his father is. Once Trey leaves, Leo admits to Greenlee that he's playing Trey. As Leo tells Greenlee that Trey's name is really Ben Sheppard, Shep for short, Greenlee delivers this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK when she says, "Oh we're supposed to call him Shep now? What's next? Mo? Curly?" By the way, in case you're wondering... Trey is going to keep the name Trey and not go by Ben. The only thing that has changed since his identity was revealed is that he has taken off the Clark Kent glasses.

Back at the hospital, Aiden goes to see Maria but Edmund has no idea who he is or that he's there to see Maria. I find it interesting that Edmund never met this branch of his extended family, but that's besides the point. Also at the hospital is Isabella who is dying to see her daughter, but Edmund tells her that she is not ready and will not know who she is. Mateo has brought the kids to see Maria too, but Maria only wants to see Aiden at the moment. This upsets Edmund so he questions Aiden. Maddie doesn't like that her daddy is yelling at Angel Mommy's friend. While they are waiting to see Maria, the kids decide they want to see their other mommy, Brooke.

Isabella heads out to see Brooke. Oh this is going to be good!!! Izzy is on a mission and is not at all understanding. Brooke is a little startled to see Izzy at her door but lets her in. She tells Brooke that Maria did not have to suffer the way she has. When Brooke admits that she knew that Maria was alive and how sorry she is, Izzy is hearing none of it and hauls off and slaps her hard across the face! Oh what a scene! And it gets better. It's my second SCENE OF THE WEEK as Izzy tears into Brooke and Brooke can do nothing but listen to this heartbroken mother's pain. Tad tries to step in, but Izzy pulls out all the stops. She reminds Brooke that she knows the pain of losing a child and, as one mother to another, she could have put an end to Izzy's pain and chose not to for her own selfish reasons. Once Isabella leaves, Brooke goes full force into self loathing mode as she tells Tad that everything Isabella said was true.

While visiting with Maria, Aiden wants to bring Edmund and the kids in to see her. He wants her to know what her old life is like. Maria keeps saying something that I find so interesting and touching. She says that they look at her with love. They all look at her like they are looking into her soul and even though she wants to be the person they know for them, she cannot. It's moving and painful at the same time. No matter what she does right now, she cannot remember them. She cannot feel what they feel for her. I like how they are giving us all sides of this dilemma. Maria makes Aiden promise that he will not leave her. He is the only one he trusts at the moment. He is the only one who didn't know her as Maria. Edmund hears this so Maria tells him that she is not rejecting him but he needs to understand that she needs Aiden right now. Edmund tries very hard to be understanding about everything.

A few random musing:

Did you ever notice that Sammy looks just like the little boy from "Family Affair"? The kid who played Jody. I can't remember the actors name, but he was later on "Sigmund the Sea Monster" Remember!?

Anna contemplates aborting her miracle baby. And a miracle it is!! Off the pill one day, ovulating the next and having sex, and then pregnant. Now at one week pregnant, she does not want to tell David and may have an abortion. She won't do it, but I'm not totally convinced she'll have it either.

Greenlee calls Simone under the pretense of being friends again, to get information on Trey. Simone has none, Greenlee is snotty and nasty to her. This whole thing is really nuts. Knowing that her father was a creepy money hungry smarm meister, Greenlee instead chooses to believe that it was Simone who wanted to make money off the book, not Roger. Whatever!

On Anna's recommendation to the board, David is once again fired from Pine Valley Hospital. This is about as old as Adam and Liza's divorce merry go round. But did you see? David had that "I didn't do anything" look on his face again!

Jake tells everyone the good news that Maria is in very good health. But there is no conclusive results on why her memory is lost or if it will ever return.

In a very "Hello pot, meet the kettle" moment, David trashes Brooke for keeping Maria a secret. That David, his denial actually comical!

Vanessa is suddenly gone from the hospital, but was actually taken to federal holding.

Tad is the only one who actually puts together that David drugged Maria with something, knowing his history. Anna agrees with him once he puts it out there and the two are looking like they are going to team up and bring David down once and for all. Yeah right, just like they always think they can bring down Adam! David is the Adam of the new generation!

And the biggest of the random musings... Chris Stamp has FINALLY realized that the fire was started to cover up stealing his Proteus files. Give that man a commendation, it's only taken him about 5 months to figure that out! That is some incredible detective work! Why is he no longer with the FBI? I don't understand it!

Back to the action. We are gearing up for another SCENE OF THE WEEK, as it's getting close to the time that Maria is reunited with Sam for the first time and with Maddie again. Brooke brings the kids into her room. Sam is understandably apprehensive, but soon he goes to her and mother and children share a very touching reunion. Maria explains to them that she was hurt and lost for a long time, but that now that she's back, she will never leave them again. What a weep fest!

This weeks AMC gets a B+ I am enjoying AMC more now than I have in years! Let's keep that way PTB! Which brings me to one last thing... before I go, I just have to berate AMC a little for the huge mistake they are making in releasing Marj Dusay. They obviously aren't thinking clearing about this. Vanessa is a very important part of the show. I can hear the lame excuses already, "we have no storyline for her" "this departure is storyline dictated" "she's been written into a corner" I never understood this. It's such a cop out. Aren't the writers of the show hired to write storylines? And write characters out of the corners they put them in? Come on people! Don't lose this brilliant actress!!!