The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998



September 15, 2003


It's really weird, but I'm feeling so out of practice with the Editorial. I feel like, I sit down and don't even know what to say anymore. Well... we all know this too shall pass and when I'm up to write page seven or eight and you're reading that far, we'll all laugh and say, "Sheah... sure you don't know what to say! At any rate... tunes! Tunes this time are Foo Fighters (self titled), Johnny Cash "16 Biggest Hits" in honor of the "Man in Black," Social Distortion "Live at the Roxy," the "If I Were a Carpenter" tribute cd (which really doesn't fit in with the rest, but hey, I like it), and Alice Cooper's Greatest Hits.

You know, I certainly had my doubts about Megan McTavish's return. Come on, you know as well as I do that the last time she was at the helm as head writer AMC was bad and it descended farther and farther down the drain until it was almost completely unwatchable. But look what we have now... mystery, relevant social issues, families banding together, corporate raiders taking over, familiar faces returning. The only thing it's really lacking in right now is romance. But I have faith that is going to be coming soon too. Wow... I was cautiously optimistic about her return and I'm happy to say that I'm pleased with it so far. You don't really know me very well if you think I'd ever be just plain optimistic!! That is so not me... I'm the original pessimist. I'm a cynic to the highest degree! It just works better. You know, I always say... go in expecting nothing, anything bad isn't a big shock that way and anything good is a pleasant surprise. So, I'm pleasantly surprised :)

Cast your vote here for the worst mom that has ever been on AMC. .. that is ever, not just right now (and remember you have to be a registered member of ezboard and logged into your account to vote). If it were for current mom's, Mary Smythe would win hands down. Not only is she a bad mom, she's also a skanky one. She went straight into sex kitten mode and slithered her skanky self into Juan Pablo's bed (heretofore known as JP). Poor JP... he didn't know how to get Mary out without rousing too much suspicion that she was being set up. And Mary, well she's so horny she never even noticed she was being set up. Isn't it funny how that works? Here he is, offering her the moon, the stars, and a couple of planets and it never dawned on her that he didn't want to touch her. She never noticed the bad case of the heebies he got whenever she moved closer to him. She was so blinded by the cha-ching, bling bling and the other thing. Mary Mary Mary... she actually believed that JP was going to whisk her away to Argentina, give her her own ranch to live on, big diamonds to wear, and some bootie whenever she wanted it.

So, at JP's jet Greenlee bursts in to find Mary ready to take off without so much as a word to Greenlee about it. Greenlee actually begs her mother to stay, saying she needs her and doesn't want to be alone. Greenlee then gets what she wants when Mary admits that Jack never knew about her and that she lied - so she won't be alone, she has her father. So there it is, she is caught in a lie in a very elaborate and kind of mean scheme. True Mary didn't even go to say goodbye to Greenlee, she was just going to take off. But in Mary's defense, she did say no to JP several times. They just kept upping the ante until it was impossible for someone of Mary's ilk to say no. So the truth is out and Mary is still anxious to leave with JP. She still hasn't caught on that it was a trick. JP finally tells her that he is not going anywhere with her and a shocked Mary turns to Greenlee asking "what is this??" Greenlee tells her... "it was a test, and you failed." Now broke, with no sugar daddy and no daughter to pay her way, Mary begs, again, for Greenlee's forgiveness. But Greenlee isn't budging this time and tells Mary to go appeal to Woody, maybe he'll relent but she won't. Ouch.

The subsequent breakdown happens next and JP wants to make it all better for Greenlee. He wants to whisk her away and make all her cares disappear. She's looking like she's going to say yes too... that is until Simone and Mia burst in and demand that she help them stop Kendall from taking over Fusion. So off she goes with the girls, turning down JP's very generous offer. I wonder if he's on the up and up.

So what is it about skanky bad mothers that I just love. I've always loved them. Marian... she was the ultimate! One of my all time favorite storylines was when Marian was sleeping with shampoo boy Tad, while he was dating Liza. Remember when Liza found his necklace on her mothers nightstand?? And then there is Arlene. OMG, I just adore that woman!! She's the absolute worst mother ever and still, another all time favorite storyline is Arlene's affair with Alec. I will never ever forget seeing him pouring liquor down her throat trying to kill her (wish I had that on tape!). That was so awesome!! And now Mary. She's right up there with these two maneaters! I cannot wait to see her sink her teeth into Adam Chandler!

NuJamie surfaced this week. Suddenly a little older and his hormones have kicked into high gear. Tad finds him at the Pit (hey, does Adam still own that place? Didn't he buy it when he was in a drunken state of insanity and married to Arlene?) where he's trying to pick up some chick named Carrie. But the presence of Tad the Dad is really cramping his style. Tad takes him home and fills Brooke in on their sons latest exploits. It's a cool scene, they take a little trip down memory lane and remember how they were at his age, and then some! Brooke isn't ready to let her little boy grow up. And who could blame her really, he's only 13 years old after all. He sure looks older doesn't he? Tad realizes that Jamie is growing up and then delivers this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK when he says, "I can say with all pride that my son has inherited my eye for a well turned ankle and an incredibly melon like butt." That Tad, who knew he was a butt man!

Can we talk LEO duPRES MEMORIAL PASS THE HANDBAG MOMENT for a second while we're still talking about Tad? Liza goes to see Tad with two plane tickets to Tahiti and asks him to take off with her immediately. They dance around the idea that they may hook up again, daydream about how awful it would be and then back out when Simone, Mia and Greenlee come and tell Liza they need her help with Kendall. Thank God! Can we stop revisiting these two now please? But the best part was when Tad returned home from the airport to find a big bashorama in progress. Ahhh I remember those days. The folks are out of town, you have the house to yourself, chaos and mayhem ensue! *sigh* oh to be young again. Tad finds James in his bed making out with Carrie from the Pit. I wonder how long it will be until the little song sings "He's James the Cad" instead of Tad!

RYAN'S BACK!!! And at the Valley Inn, he hears Greenlee's voice in one of the rooms and listens at the door, but ends up crashing into a cart and runs off. Greenlee comes out just in time to see him running off and thinks it just may be Ryan, but isn't sure. We are then treated to a really cool Ryan/Greenlee flashback as Greenlee relates to JP the story of how she dumped the guy she thought she just saw. It's hilarious because she's flashing back to how it really happened but tells it to JP so it reflects her in a good light. What really happened was that Ryan dropped her like a hot potato and said he regretted ever getting involved with her in the first place. Ryan is back listening in and and has a good chuckle over Greenlee's version of events.

Then more good stuff... Ryan sees Edmund at the Valley Inn and makes himself known. They get caught up and talk about Chris and about Maria. It's pretty cool. Ryan tells Edmund he's keeping a low profile and no one knows he's back. Edmund laughs and tells him that sitting in the Valley Inn bar may change that fact very soon!


Michael Cambias. He has taken over the reigns as the Charlie Brown of the show. And by that I mean whenever he is spoken of, he is Michael Cambias, first and last name always said, just like Charlie Brown. For awhile it was always David Hayward, but he's now gotten to a first name basis with many of the residents of Pine Valley. Fancy that, it's only been about 6 years. Just listen to the dialogue: "You'll never have to worry about Michael Cambias again" "Kendall, did you really marry Michael Cambias?" "Where has Michael Cambias disappeared to?" "Have you heard from Michael Cambias?" "I came to town to find Michael Cambias." See what I mean.

So Charlie, Michael Cambias is gone. Or is he? I think he is. I think it won't be much longer until Michael Cambias is found, and he's not going to look too pretty, if you catch my drift. This has been the coolest, most interesting and most mind-boggling mystery since "Who Killed Will?" I am totally loving it. It'll be interesting to see how all the gazillions of loose ends are tied up. They have made a lot of people look guilty of something. Here are just a few off the top of my head:


Interesting. And I'm sure I left out some. Like Kendall. What is up with her! She's the most mind boggling of them all. She married Michael Cambias? Nah... of course she didn't. To me it looks like it was all a very elaborate cover. I promise you I do not know what really happened yet, so anything I say here is purely speculation and some facts we already know. Like Kendall marrying a Michael Cambias lookalike. I don't know where she found him, but she did. If you didn't know that, then big sorry but that was released info several weeks ago. OK... so she married some dude that looks like Michael or at least made it look like she did. She's covered a lot of bases, but one I think she didn't count on was how destroyed Erica and Bianca would be by what they think she has done. Erica disowns Kendall again and tells her she means nothing to her. That is a big blow to Kendall who has finally made peace with her mother. I honestly don't think Kendall thought it would come to that.

Then it turns into beat up Kendall week. At the penthouse, she has gone to try and explain to Erica why she married Michael Cambias. Bianca is shocked and mortified by it when she hears the news. Kendall pleads with Erica to listen to her, and tells her that she has Michael Cambias' power of attorney and can give her Enchantment back. See, this would be just like Kendall. She would think that she is being Erica's savior, saving her company, but at this point Erica has proven that Bianca comes first and she doesn't care about the company. She even tells Kendall she's just like her father and goes so far as to call her Kendall Fields. Ouch! Kendall is crushed.

Now it's Bianca's turn. She takes Kendall down to Enchantment's offices for some privacy. Nothing Kendall says right now can help Erica or Bianca understand why she did what they think she did. Nothing but the truth and it seems as though that is something Kendall is not willing to divulge just yet. Bianca rips into Kendall, telling her how she validated Michael Cambias. She promised to love and cherish him. She kissed him. Bianca wants to know if money was her sole motivater, but Kendall insists that it wasn't. She wanted Bianca to know that Michael Cambias will never hurt her or anyone else ever again. Bianca doesn't believe her, she doesn't think it's possible for Kendall to make such a bold statement. Of course, Kendall is still hiding something.. this much we know. It's then that Bianca spills the sad fact that she is pregnant by Michael Cambias and no matter what she thinks she did to help them, she didn't. She didn't make it all go away and she will always have a reminder of him, just like Kendall is a reminder for her mother. Another ouch! Erica is listening in at the door and totally freaks out, screaming and crying. Kendall and Bianca rush to her, but she won't allow Kendall to touch her. Kendall very sadly walks out, feeling once again like the outsider and listens as Bianca tries to calm Erica down. She calls Jack to meet them back up in the penthouse and they walk out, completely ignoring the fact that Kendall is in a heap on the floor, dejected.

OK, this is where it gets good! Boyd finds Kendall and comforts her, he assures her that she did the right thing. Oh yes, Boyd is in this up to his eyeballs. He tells Kendall that he "took care of everything." But when Kendall shares with Boyd that Bianca is pregnant, he flips! She tells him they have nothing to regret and that one day, Bianca and Erica will know what they did for them. The two of them are in on some secret that to me looks like Kendall created this faux marriage to cover up for Boyd murdering Michael Cambias. But I have to admit, I'll be a little disappointed if that is really it. That was just too easy. And there are still lots of other loose ends to consider.

Uh huh... another loose end, Erica's datebook. Did she go to the condo with David when he put the poison in the scotch? How do they know the scotch killed him, if it did? He wasn't drinking scotch the last time we saw him, he was drinking champagne. And now Aidan has found the datebook in Michael Cambias' condo because he's suddenly Chief in Training and is trying to piece the whole thing together. It's kind of fun to watch him do this because he is the only one who seems to truly not be involved. After finding it, he takes it over to Jack's loft to turn it over as evidence. Well, Jack isn't going to just believe that Erica left it there, and if he does believe it, he's not going to let on that he does. Aidan tells Jack his theory that Erica planted the heroin at the condo, but Jack blows him off and tells him that he has no authority to be searching Michael Cambias' condo. Aidan leaves there with the datebook and some suspicions about Jack now. And at this point, Jack gets a call from Bianca to tell him that Erica knows and they need him.

Maggie meets with Lena at the Boathouse. This whole part of the storyline is really starting to annoy me. Maggie has seen Lena several times, she knows how much Lena loves Bianca and wants to see her, but she just keeps telling Lena to leave Bianca alone, to chill out, that she's selfish. Not one of those times did Maggie ever say to Bianca... have you thought about contacting Lena? She loves you so much and wants to help. Not that she has to push it, or should be. But I do think that Maggie is the one being selfish here, not Lena. She wants to be Bianca's savior. And for this one moment in particular, Maggie gets this weeks DIXIE COONEY MARTIN COMMEMORATIVE SLAP AWARD... Bianca calls Maggie to come to the penthouse because she just told Erica she is pregnant. Lena realizes it's Bianca on the phone and tries to grab it. Maggie gives her a very stern look and says, "Lena! NO!!" like she is a dog who jumped on the sofa when she shouldn't or something. Hell I thought Maggie was going to pull out a rolled up piece of newspaper and smack Lena in the nose!! Yeah yeah, Maggie has been a great friend to Bianca and that is wonderful and all, but maybe she's the one who should chill.

Back at the penthouse, Erica snaps into reality when she sees Jack and realizes that Bianca really is pregnant. Up until then, she was in denial, spouting how they would make David do the tests again and again until they were correct. But now with Jack soothing her, she realizes it's true. Later Jack comforts Bianca and tells her that she does not have to make a decision today. But Bianca realizes time is running out. The next morning, Erica assures her that she loves her no matter what and they will get through this together. Bianca apologizes to her for not coming to her sooner, but she was afraid it would remind her of her own pain. Erica tells Bianca that she is all that matters.

Kendall has regrouped and headed over to Fusion to gloat that she owns it and everyone who works there, but Liza, Simone and Mia all remain cold. Liza wants to know why they should trust her, but Kendall really gives them no reason to and tells them she's in charge and if they don't like it, they can leave. Guess what... they all leave.

In interject here for a moment to declare this weeks MEANINGLESS DRIVEL OF THE WEEK as the merciful end to the horrid Sexiest Man contest. Wow, that was the dumbest thing ever!

Back at the Cambias condo, Ryan breaks in to try and dig up some dirt on the man he promised to get revenge on. So far the only one who knows Ryan is back in town is Edmund. He wants to know what Ryan is up to, but Ryan remains vague. So at the condo, he's about the 20th person to break in and does something that no one else has ever done... he closed the blinds!!! Check out Ryan, now this is someone who actually knows how to break into a place and not be seen! He boots up the computer to see if he can find anything out but all he finds is that Michael Cambias has not sent or received any email for several days. Hey, how does he get rid of all the spams! I want in on that secret! But suddenly Ryan hears someone coming and goes to hide. Why it's David! He's the 21st person to break into the Cambias condo! He starts to look around for Erica's datebook and feels that the computer is warm. He looks around and calls out to see if anyone is there, but Ryan is quiet as a mouse so David proceeds to go and pour out the evidence... the drugged scotch while Ryan watches. But just then, Aidan who was the 3rd, 10th, 16th and now the 22nd person to break into the Cambias condo surprises David and stops him from dumping the scotch by grabbing the bottle. He tells him he's compromising a crime scene. David tries to push him out of the way so he could finish dumping it, but the bottle breaks instead. This satisfies David and just as he's about to leave, Anna arrives. David tries to cover by saying he was just trying to figure out where Michael Cambias went, but Aidan, who pretty much hates David's guts, tells Anna that David was dumping out the bottle and then gives Anna a rag with some of the booze on it that he wiped up. Anna rushes out with David not too far behind and Aidan too. Ryan comes back out and snatches some of the broken glass.

Back at the police station, Aidan gives Anna Erica's datebook that he found at the condo. He tells her that he thinks David is hiding something. Aidan tries to convince Anna that Michael Cambias is dead and I think Anna is believing it. She also realizes that many people she cares about are involved. This is going to be a hard thing for the Chief of Police to face. As Aidan tries to convince her that Erica, Jack and David are all involved, Anna flashes back to some events that seemed too easily explained away at the time. Anna realizes that Aidan is right and leaves her office with a letter left for Jack.

At the cabin, Anna tells David that she has resigned from the police force and is leaving town. David is shocked and cannot believe what he is hearing, but she explains that she cannot prosecute people she loves, and while Erica is not someone she particularly cares about, she cannot see punishing her for protecting her daughter. She would do the same. David realizes that for the first time they are on the same page in regards to legal issues and says they should give themselves another chance. But Anna is feeling empty and that she has lost too much of herself since losing Leora. David begs her to reconsider and tells her they can rebuild their live together. But Anna says no, it just won't work. This weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK continues as the pain surfaces for both David and Anna and they realize how much they love each other but cannot be together. Anna tells David it is too late for them, she has shut down and she apologies for failing him but David embraces her through her tears and tells her she didn't. Anna has left to go see Robin in Paris and won't be back.

Bianca gets a flower delivery from Lena and finally decides that it's time she face her. At first I thought Bianca not wanting to see Lena made a lot of sense. She was afraid to face her and there was the Michael Cambias connection. Now it's just time and I'm glad she is going to see her. When Lena arrives, ever present Maggie goes into the bedroom so they can be alone. Bianca is still so apprehensive about seeing her and cannot bring herself to confide to Lena that she is pregnant. Lena is encouraged by the fact that Bianca called her though and declares her love once again and apologizes to her for all the horrible things she has done in the past. I feel so bad for Lena, and I'm not so sure I understand why Bianca continues to push her away still. And as it turns out, Bianca doesn't understand it either so there ya go.

Bianca has decided to see a crisis counselor. She's so confused about what to do and can use all the help she can get. But as it turns out, the counselor has had a family emergency herself and will be gone for a week. Weird that Pine Valley Hospital has but one crisis counselor huh? Anyway time is running out for Bianca and she needs to make a decision soon so she can't really wait a whole week for Sally Tupperman or whatever her name was, to come back. As she sits in the lobby and ponders what to do next, Maria asks her if she can help her. They get past the preliminaries of how they know each other and haven't seen each other and yadda yadda yadda, then go into Maria's office to talk. Maria tells Bianca that her sister Julia had been raped (nice tie in!). Bianca admits to Maria that she is pregnant and doesn't know what to do, she asks Maria what Julia would have done and Maria tells her that Julia was also pregnant and she ended up terminating. Bianca asked her how she felt about it and Maria made sure to tell her that she supported her sister no matter what and it didn't matter what she thought about it, but that Julia made the best choice for herself and that is what she should do too, whatever the choice is. Maria offers her help anytime she wants to talk and gives her some pamphlets to read that may help her decide. She tells Bianca to have faith in herself. Feeling better, Bianca goes home and tells her mother that she saw a counselor and feels better. Erica immediately assumes that this means Bianca is going to get an abortion, but Bianca looks like she has not yet made this decision. Bianca continues her reign as PERFORMER OF THE WEEK. She has been absolutely phenomenal throughout this whole storyline!

**Disclaimer: No matter how you feel about the subject of abortion, this is a fictional story that I have no control over in the least. Please do not write to me about the evils of abortion. I'm not writing this storyline, I am merely recapping it. Thanks!**

Back at Fusion, Aidan goes to see Kendall who is so not interested in going another round. But Aidan tells her he came to apologize and now realizes that she didn't kill Michael Cambias. But he does believe she is protecting someone who did... Erica. Kendall just laughs him off. And then, she gets a call from Michael Cambias!! Aidan doesn't believe it's really him, so she hands him the phone but of course, he had already hung up. Kendall shows Aidan the caller ID with the Cambias name and number on it, but Aidan is still not convinced. But I have to agree with Aidan, I kind of wondered if Kendall's "marriage" and everything was something that maybe Erica is in on. It's all so confusing I don't know which way is up and I'm loving it!

When Mia, Simone, Greenlee and Liza arrive back at Fusion, Kendall tells them that they have all already been replaced. Greenlee humors Kendall and tells her she is brave for all she has done. And now she has three companies to run... Chandler Enterprises, Enchantment and Fusion. Greenlee suggests that she merge Fusion with Enchantment and then name Greenlee CEO. I don't see Kendall going for that!

This weeks AMC gets a strong B+ It's been SO good with all the mystery. But the stupidity of the Liza and Tad stuff, along with the Sexiest Man contest has brought it down a bit this week.