The Pine Valley Bulletin

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October 23, 2006

I can at least say this about AMC, things are happening! I was going to do an Editorial for the previous week (October 9-13) but when I looked back on the notes I took, I threw them out. NOTHING happened that week. So this Editorial reflects the shows that aired from October 16 thru October 20. And since it's my favorite time of year, Halloween time, I chose some darker music to listen to today. Starting out with my all time favorite band, Bauhaus with 1979-1983 Volume Two, followed by The Cramps; Stay Sick, The Damned; The Best of the Damned; The Misfits; Cuts from the Crypt; and Rob Zombie; Hellbilly Deluxe.

Oh and before I start I have to tell you all about the newest addition to the Carano Family. Last Editorial I told you about Murphy and Jett, the new members of our family. Well since then we have third addition... little Bowie! Bowie is 7 weeks old and is Murphy and Jett's half brother (same mama). He is quite a little hellion and definitely keeps big brother and big sissy on their toes! Bowie was looking for a home when I went to the vet's office to pick up Murphy and Jett after their neutering and spaying. How could I resist such a face! I couldn't!

On with the show! This week started off with Babe about to spill her and Josh's beans to JR. Annoying Colby told a whopper of a lie to get Babe to tell the truth, that she slept with Josh, but JR had already conned Colby into telling the truth then played that he was on her side and wanted to see Josh go down. So just as Babe is about to give Josh the mother of all alibi's (he was boinking Babe, not Colby), JR stops her and tells everyone that he already knows Colby lied. I have to think that JR knows Babe is a tramp and slept with Josh, just as much as Adam knows Krystal is a tramp and slept with Tad. Both Adam and JR, at different times clearly act as if they know but are living in this weird state of denial. For the life of me I can't understand why JR would be in such denial considering only a few short months ago he plotted to kill Babe and not only that, he found her naked at FUSION! But whatever. Babe thanks JR for saving Josh from prison and promises him that she will repair their broken marriage. Personally I think they should take a wrecking ball to it. Babe's affair with Josh was played completely wrong. Here she has a psycho homicidal husband, but instead of portraying her being fearful of JR and what he is capable of, she's boo-hooing because he's emotionally dead and won't open up to her about his feelings. Give me a freakin break! I could almost understand (and that doesn't mean condone!) her seeking out comfort from someone else because of JR's homicidal tendencies, but I don't understand this at all. When everyone thinks Colby is dead, she watched Adam lean on Krystal for moral support and when Babe tries to be there for JR, he says, "how many times do I have to tell you that I don't need you." OK, ouch. But not affair worthy. But that's exactly what she did. She went straight to Josh and boffed him, several times. Bottom line, Babe is a tramp and the show has done very well in conveying that. So suddenly JR has a moment of clarity where he says that he almost went along with Colby's lie to get Josh out of their lives but instead he wants to prove to Babe that he can be the husband she deserves. Hmm... what kind of husband is that? The murdering kind?

When Josh gets a call that the charges against him have been dropped, he immediately assumes that Babe told JR the truth and makes a beeline to the Chandler's to make sure she's OK. When he arrives he asks Babe if she's OK and if JR hurt her. JR has the audacity to ask, "Why would I hurt her?" Oh come on JR! You can't be this stupid... why would you hurt her?? Remember the construction site, the bricks, the scaffolding? Remember how you plotted to kill Babe? Why were you doing it then? No reason other than Janet was whispering things in your ear. But Babe and Krystal realize Josh thinks JR knows and stop him from spilling their beans. They tell him that JR found out that Colby lied. After getting the skinny on what happened, JR tosses Josh out and Colby goes off in a huff, her plan having been foiled. Boo hoo Colby.

Over at BJ's, Colby is drowning her sorrows in a cheeseburger and fries when David happens upon her and introduces himself. Ahh that David, he's always got a plan up his sleeve. And this is no exception, even if it does look innocent enough at first. Before too long Colby is spilling all her guts... telling David that Babe is sleeping with Josh, and that Krystal is pregnant and keeping a secret about Tad. Well this is all David needs to hear for the wheels to start turning. We'll get back to that later though.

After finding out that David did a DNA test on him against Emma and it matched, Tad has his doubts that David could actually be on the up and up. Good for you Tad! Your stupid ex-wife, The Faithless Whore, has completely believed him and gone off the deep end. She's gone so far as to harass Annie at BJ's begging her to return her child, and then stalking the child (with David's help of course) at the Miranda Center. You know, even if Emma is Kate...which I am doubting because it was all far too easy, I hope Dixie never gets her back. What a psycho hell bitch she is! Anyway, because Dixie is such a freaking idiot, David goes to see Annie and apologize for how things were handled, but informs her that he did a DNA test and Emma was a match to Tad. Annie is shocked and appalled that David was ever alone with her child, but she shouldn't be really. She is always sending her to her room, or somewhere else. Even when Terry was after her, Annie wasn't exactly great at keeping an eye on Emma. At any rate, Jonathan is there to get rid of David for Annie and she turns to Jonathan for even more help. She wants Jonathan to help her and Emma get out of Pine Valley and back on the run.

Ryan believes that Annie should have a DNA test run on Emma and that would be that, but Annie flatly refuses which in soap terms means she's hiding something. But still, she insists that she gave birth to Emma and Ryan believes her. He tells Tad that Emma is not Kate, but Tad isn't ready to just roll over and accept that. The evidence is mounting and he continues to dig. When he gets a copy of Emma's birth certificate he finds that Greg Madden was Annie's OB-GYN. This is something Annie lied about. She said she never met the man. Oh what a tangled web we weave Miss Annie. I swear, the more characters that are added to AMC the more idiots there are. Here we have Demented Dixie coming at Annie demanding her child back and Asinine Annie lying at every turn about everything. Then comes Depraved David with his agenda to destroy Dixie... oh yes kids, that's exactly what he's trying to do. Righteous Ryan is in there trying to help Annie by going through legal channels to prove that Emma is her child. But Audacious Annie would rather just run away. That's when Jurisdictional Jonathan (that was a hard one!) gets in on the action and wants to help Annie run. All the while Tentative Tad is trying his best to find out what he can while not putting any trust in Deceptive David.

Back at the penthouse, Tad and Ryan find that Annie and Emma are gone. Tad is pissed, he puts the blame on Ryan but when Jonathan comes in he tells them that it's David that Tad should be blaming. He came there and told Annie that he had DNA proof that Emma matches Tad. Tad makes a beeline to David and tells him to stay out of it, that he scared Annie and now she ran. Oh you silly Tad you, of course David isn't going to stay out of it! David is so neck deep in it, and everything else going on that he couldn't stay out of it even if he wanted to.

 

Random Comments:

JR tells Adam that he wants to make his marriage to Babe work, so Adam gives him the same advice he always gives, mark your territory... I mean get her pregnant. That is Adam's solution to everything.

Babe calls it quits with Josh and tells him she wants her marriage to JR to work. Josh doesn't want to accept it and moves in for another kiss which Babe happily accepts like the skank she is, but then pulls away and tells him it's over and walks out.

Babe goes home and tells JR how happy she is, happier than she has been in a very long time. In fact all the Chandler's bask in their love and happiness. And I watch waiting for the other shoe to drop and all that happiness to come crashing down around them. And it will.

Of course, Adam called in some favors to get Colby off the hook for making a false police report. Add her to the list of Teflon Chandlers.

 

Dixie goes to see Zach and tell him that she may have found Kate. Zach is kind of happy for her (as much as he can muster showing the happy emotion that is) until he finds out that it was David who found the child. Zach, who is clearly using his head more than Dixie, warns her about believing anything that David says. But she's so far gone she can't not believe him. She does seize her opportunity to tell him how she would never let him go the way Kendall did. Ahh Dix, whether she's on trial for murder or embroiled in a search for her missing daughter, she never misses an opportunity to throw herself at Zach. One of my favorite moments of the week happens next. Zach tells Dixie that he only has room in his heart for one woman and it ain't her! So hey Dix, don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

Kendall is upset when the divorce papers are delivered and Zach had signed them. Thank God for Binks, who is there at the time and reminds her that it was Kendall who served those divorce papers and signed them first! But in Kendall World Zach should come running in, declare his love, toss out the divorce and carry her off to bed. Never mind that Zach isn't that guy at all. That is what Kendall wants and when she doesn't get the things she wants, she pouts. Bianca tells her that the ball is now in her court. Zach did not have the divorce papers filed, he left that part up to her. So off Kendall goes to see Zach and asks him if he wants this divorce. Zach once again goes for the broody, moody type of answer when he says, "you know what I want." Um Zach honey, clearly she doesn't if she came to ask you. Just answer the freakin question in terms that your paranoid and irrational wife can understand. Repeat after me Zach.. it's not that hard, really, "No Kendall, I don't want a divorce." Nope, he can't just come right out and say things. Instead he tells Kendall that she belongs with him. Kendall can't accept that, she is afraid to love someone who is so dark and cold. But she can't help herself, she tells him she loves him and doesn't want to live without him. She asks if he loves her too. Zach replies by carrying her from his office all the way back to her condo and making love to her. But you know, in Kendall World this may not be enough. Can't you just see her in the afterglow saying something like, "But Zach, I asked if you still love me. Do you?" Thankfully she didn't do that, instead together they tore up their divorce papers.

 

Random comments:

Ryan arrives at the condo and finds that Kendall and Zach are back together. She explains that she was not ready to give Zach up.

Zach apologizes to Ryan for misjudging him.

Kendall listens as Ryan tells Zach that he should leave Dixie's issues to Tad and the others in her life she has to help her and concentrate on his life with Kendall.

Zach knows Kendall was listening and when she asks him if he is through helping Dixie, in true Zach fashion he doesn't exactly say he is, but tells Kendall she is the only woman for him.

Erica is none too pleased to find Zach back at Kendall's condo taking care of Spike soon after Kendall told her that Zach was out of her life for good. But in the end, she seems to accept him.

 

Back to David who found out from Colby that Babe is sleeping with Josh. He decides to go talk to Josh and see if it's true. Heck he didn't even have to initiate the topic because as soon as Josh sees him he jumps at him with, "You know, what kind of a soul-free moron lets his daughter marry JR Chandler?" Nice opening Josh, you just made David's day! David explains that Babe would not listen to him and hates that she is tied to the Chandlers. David delivers the LINE OF THE WEEK when he says, "Adam Chandler, Jr.? Just saying it is an obscenity." And that is something I wholeheartedly agree with! Anyway, David tells Josh that he has a chance to get Babe away from JR and he should take it. Josh is kind of confused by the whole thing, not sure what David knows or what he isn't saying. But David very masterfully plays Josh and urges him to not give up, go after Babe until he wins her!

After he's done playing with Josh, David goes to see Krystal and see what she knows about Babe and Josh. But Krystal is having none of it and when David suggests that Babe and Josh are having an affair, Krystal denies it.

 

Random comments:

Josh quits FUSION, which pisses off Simone. You know what that means? Simone actually had a scene this week!

Julia is on the beach when Jamie arrives and they have an awkward conversation until Jamie's ditsy date shows up. Jamie goes off with her and Julia is left to stew. Josh shows up and they have an interesting scene, a rare civil one, where they commiserate over their failed relationships.

Bianca spots Erica coming out of Jeff's room and immediately assumes she's having an affair with him. Sheesh!

I figured out why Erica moved out of her house with Jack. It's so she can wear red! With Lily around she can't and since she's moved out, she has worn more red than I have seen her wear in months!

 

 

At the hospital, David spots Krystal and Adam and feigns shock when Adam refers to Krystal's condition. If you recall, Colby already told David that Krystal is pregnant. But in true David form, he happily says, "Congratulations! Who's the lucky father?" Oh am I going to miss that man. In fact, from now on, until he's gone (and maybe after) I'm going to give David the PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award. Truthfully no one deserves it more than David this week anyway. He was everywhere, in everyone's business and stirring up all kinds of mayhem! And while we're talking about David, let me take this opportunity to once again say that letting Vincent Irizarry go is probably one of the biggest mistakes AMC could make. Are they watching him work these weeks? Can they not see when they actually give him storyline and airtime that he is AMAZING. He's talented, he's interesting, he's tied to everyone, and he's pretty easy on the eyes. He's the whole package. WRITE WRITE WRITE to AMC and tell them. Addresses are available here. Please put your pen to paper and let the folks at AMC know that David is too important to the fabric of Pine Valley to let go!!

 

Let's see... David has gotten in Annie's face this week, in Josh's, in Krystal's and he's not done. Off David goes to talk to JR and get in his face about Josh. Of course, JR is not the least bit interested in hearing what David has to say about anything. But when David drops the Kate bomb on him, he is suddenly all ears. David fills JR in on his whole Emma caper. JR is so appalled that he decides to race right over to Tad's office to confront him.

Before JR arrives, Tad is frustrated. He has asked Di for help in finding Annie and Emma, but she says she doesn't know where they are but even so, she is sure Annie wouldn't lie about Emma being her child. Di didn't get back in touch with Annie until after Emma was born, so she doesn't have any information on the circumstances surrounding Emma's birth. We get the distinct impression though that Di wouldn't give Annie up anyway. It's a sticky situation to put Di in... does she help her sister or her friend. Looks like Di is going to chose the friend this time. Tad is having a breakdown... he blames himself for their inability to find Kate (no kidding Tad?), he's having nightmares and in general is just falling apart. Aidan tries to console him, telling him he has to let it go. They will find Kate not matter how long it takes. The destruction of Tad Martin is certain to win him an Emmy... mark my words! He's been fantastic.

JR shows up and immediately, in true JR form, rips into Tad about David's claim about Kate. Just as he is berating Tad for hurting his mother and almost sending her to prison, now giving her false hope about Kate, Jamie arrives and tells JR to shut the hell up. Thank you Jamie. Jamie and Aidan try very hard without actually saying that Tad did it, that Tad actually saved Dixie from prison. Slowly but surely the dimbulb lights up in JR's empty head and he realizes what really went down. JR apologizes to Tad and even though no one ever says so, it's clear that JR has finally figured out that Tad did it.

Over at the hospital, Krystal is having a bunch of tests because she is "over 35" and they want to make sure the baby is OK. Krystal is getting nervous though. My perception here is that Krystal is concerned the paternity will be found out during these tests, so she decides not to have any of them and tells Adam that no matter what, she will love their child and already does. She asks Adam if he will love the child no matter what. And then it turns into the SCENE OF THE WEEK as Adam explains how he will love their child no matter what. He tells her how, as a child, he resented that Stuart was special. He was embarrassed and ashamed because all the kids made fun of Stuart. He wanted him to be like the other kids. But then he figured out what makes Stuart so special... it's the way he sees the world, the way he can see right into another person's soul. He goes on to say that Stuart cannot lie, he is pure and loving and he saved Adam so many times. And this is what really got me, "I think the world would be a sadder, lonelier, poorer place if it weren't for Stuart. If our child is special, I will love her -- or him -- with all my heart." Sniff, sniff. What a scene! Loved it! And so did Krystal as she tells him she didn't think she could love him anymore than she already did, but she does. She tells him that if they have a girl, she wants to name her Charlotte, after Stuart and Adam's sister. Adam is touched by that.

 

Random comments:

Continuing his mission to stir up trouble for everyone this week, David asks Krystal if Tad is happy about her pregnancy. She very smartly ignores him.

David very happily informs Tad that Krystal is pregnant. And then we get a looksy into one of the real things that makes David tick and why he hates the Martins so much. David blames Tad and Joe for Leora dying because they pulled him out of the operating room. Nice use of history there AMC... kudos!

 

Bianca seems to be butting into everyone's business since returning from Paris doesn't she? First it was Kendall and Zach, then Erica and Jeff and now Babe and Josh. Geez Binks, butt out! I hate to do this on pretty much your first full week back, but I have to. Bianca gets this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award for being such a big buttinski! And now that Josh is her brother, she has to find out what Babe's intentions are. Babe tries very hard to explain her relationship with Josh to Bianca. It soon becomes apparent to Bianca that Babe is in love with him. What was the first clue? The gushing, the blushing or the writhing in her seat while Babe was talking about him? Babe tells Bianca that she tried very hard not to love him, but they were always there for each other. Josh let her into his life. But Bianca can't understand why she would stay with JR if she is in love with Josh. Babe sings that old JR has changed song that is getting so old I can't even stand it. She goes on to say that she thinks their breakup would destroy JR. Oh come on Babe! 1) You sure think a lot of yourself don't you. What is it about you leaving that would destroy him when he tried to kill you himself! And b) wasn't "it would destroy poor fragile JR" the very same reason she decided to keep Miranda? Do you not learn from your past mistakes!? Babe assures Bianca that Josh will be able to move on and get over her, but she asks Bianca to make sure she is there for him, he needs someone.

Ryan finds Annie at the cabin with Jonathan. He is not happy about this and tells Annie that if she continues to run, Tad will come after them and he will find them. He promises to help her prove Emma is her daughter but running is not the answer and asks her why she felt she had to do that. He confronts her about what she is keeping from him and tells him he knows that Greg's name is on Emma's birth certificate as her doctor. I don't think he was prepared for her answer. Annie tells Ryan that she gave birth to Emma, but they are not a DNA match.

 

Final random comments:

Kendall and Babe bond when they realize they have the same problem, they chose the bad boy over the good guy.

Julia compares DNA results on Tad and Emma for Tad, and tells him that they are a match.

Josh finds out that he received a huge inheritance from Greg's estate, but he wants nothing to do with it and donates it all to the Miranda Center.

David gets his hands on Krystal's tests and is, of course, up to no good!

Tad goes to Krystal and asks her if she is carrying his child.

 

This weeks AMC gets a C. I'm still ticked that they are letting Vincent Irizarry go, but how can you not love how much airtime he has been getting as a result! David is nothing if not infinitely interesting to watch. So while he butt into everyone's business this week, he was fun and interesting. Bianca's butting in to everyone's business earned her the slap award!