The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998


October 23, 2000

After stealing the ransom money that Woody gave Wade, Leo starts to toss the money around like there is no tomorrow. Odd move, considering he doesn't have money to begin with. Leo needs to learn the art of discretion. I really didn't like this idea of Leo stealing that money. Not that I want him to become too goody goody. I'm all for him keeping a bit of an edge to him. But the fact that it was Tramplee's grandfather's money bothered me. Why would he steal money from the family of the woman he supposedly loves? I didn't like that at all. I can see him stealing from Palmer, Erica, David or even Vanessa if she had any money to steal. But not Tramplee. It's asking for trouble, even though he spent it on her.

While Leo's off reserving the Presidential Suite at the Valley Inn and buying $300 bottles of champagne, Tramplee is left in the lobby and sees Ryan come in with the press surrounding him. Ryan is taking public and the press are swarming him like crazy. Tramplee tries to ruin it by saying she has the "real" story on for them, but Ryan drags her away before she can do much damage. He then hands her a check for all the money she put into the business and tells her he's buying her and Woody out. She's shocked and annoyed by this. I'm guessing Dimitri came through and decided to invest, which is where the money came from, although I don't recall actually seeing that happen. I remember that Ryan asked him to invest, and Dim said to send him the info. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Ryan decides to hand the money over to Woody himself. Just then, Leslie Coulson comes over to them and it's clear they are on a date. She asks Ryan who this is, referring to Tramplee who is still standing there. Ryan tells her it's no one and they leave Tramplee standing there, dumbfounded, with soot all over her face from the elevator debacle.

Tramplee suddenly turns green and it doesn't take Leo long to figure it out. Tramplee then goes into a Ryan induced tirade. Leo shuts her up with kiss, which seems to be the only way he can ever get her to shut up. Not that she minds, mind you. But she is suspicious of Leo's sudden wealth, as she should be. Leo blows it off and takes her up to their room for the night. They walk into a bathroom that is bigger than my whole dang house and there is a bubble bath waiting for them with champagne chilling next to the tub. Oh that Leo, he's such a romantic. Tramplee does a little striptease for Leo and then hops in the tub. Leo is damn horny after that show that we don't get the joy of seeing him strip down for her in return. Bummer. Ahh but the tub scene was adorable and this weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK. It's getting easier and easier to get past Leo's deception at stealing the money as he pours on the charm and romance. He wants to give Tramplee everything her heart desires. That's a nice feature in a boyfriend, and Tramplee is eating it up. Then he decides to make some travel plans and calls the Valley Inn front desk to make them reservations in Anguilla.

Next thing we know, Tramplee and Leo have gone tropical and are in some fancy suite at some hotel in, presumably Anguilla. And while Tramplee was busy gambling, Leo snuck off to the gift shop and bought her all kinds of jewels. Tramplee is so blissfully happy but still somewhat suspicious, although when Leo insinuates that he got the money from Nessie, she stops asking questions. Then the two get into a hot game of strip poker and we are treated to an awesome scene of Leo in those sexy boxer briefs! WOO HOO!! Thank you AMC, for showing us a man unclothed! We've seen Tramplee in her underwear so many times, I had to wonder if you forgot that the majority of soap watchers are women who want equal time and equally scantily clad men! All too soon though, Leo is putting his clothes back on. He remembered something else that Tramplee said she wanted while they were stuck in the elevator and runs out to get it for her. That Leo, I can't say enough about his attentiveness and his penchant towards romance. I mean real romance, not just sex. This guy wants nothing more than to please Tramplee and do whatever he can to make her happy. Perhaps it's even a bit over the top, but I sure wouldn't complain! A candle lit bubble bath... taking notes men?

Leo comes back to the room with a puppy for Tramplee. Tramplee is actually thrilled which kind of surprised me. I thought she'd want to make a coat out of him or something. She's not the sensitive animal lover type. But she loves her new pet and decides to call him Happy, because Leo has made her so happy. Cute, yet extremely corny. Also not what I expect out of Tramplee. She voices some concern over getting the animal home and all that, but Leo tells her he has already taken care of all the red tape. Nice touch AMC, I was ready to jump all over that. Good attention to detail for once.

Realizing that Tramplee lives at the Valley Inn now and she can't have a pet, she and Leo start to talk about moving in together and discussing whether they want a house or a condo. I'd say condo guys, I can't see either of you mowing a lawn! Anyway, Tramplee mild-casually mentions to Leo that Gramps had the bills marked so he could nail Wade and, he will once he starts spending the money. Leo freaks, causing more suspicion from Tramplee. He tells her that he has another surprise for her and sends her out of the room. He then calls the manager and demands his money back, cash and the exact bills he gave him. Oh that is smooth Leo. That doesn't draw any suspicion to you at all. The manager tells him they've gone out of their way to serve his every whim, even letting a dog in the room, something they usually don't do. But Leo is now in a full-fledged panic and Tramplee comes back just in time to hear him demanding the money.

Once the manager leaves, Tramplee suddenly figures it all out. Leo stole the ransom money. She's not too happy about this, not at all. I don't blame her, like I said, he supposedly loves her and then stole from her family? Not a good move, even though he used the money to spoil her. Leo tries to explain that he took the money for her, so he could pamper her and give her everything that she never had. He only wanted to take away her pain. Tramplee doesn't buy this at all, and actually she should since he spent all the money on her. But she's ticked. OK, I'm being schizo here. Yes, she should be mad at Leo for taking the money from her family, but she should also realize that he spent most of it on her, like he said he did. He isn't lying about that, as it's plainly obvious that everything was for her. So should she be more understanding? Oh I don't know, when is Tramplee ever understanding?

Tramplee is so mad that they have to charter a plane and they make it back to Pine Valley in about five minutes. Good thing there was a plane available huh? They didn't even have to wait an extra minute. Just hopped on and came right home. Once they arrive back at the Valley Inn, Leo is still trying to make amends to Tramplee. She's having none of it though. In the background we can see Derek talking to one of the busboys that Leo bought the bubbly off of, and he hands Derek the $100 bill that he used for a tip. Leo immediately gets arrested and is taken to jail. Tramplee follows and sneaks into the holding area because there is no security or security cameras in the Pine Valley police station. She taunts Leo with getting up to five years in prison for stealing that money, but Leo plays it cool. Then suddenly, Tramplee changes her tune and decides that Leo did it all for her and she needs to get him sprung. Off she goes to meet with Woody, but before she can even say anything, Woody tells her that the answer is no. She tells him she didn't even ask the question yet. Woody replies with this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK, "You're going to ask me to go easy on that Leo Depraved character. Well you can forget it." Tramplee pleads with Woody and tells him that she loves Leo, to which Woody replies with an exasperated, "Oh great woolly mammoths." That was too funny! Woody finally agrees to go talk to Leo at the jail, much to Tramplee's delight. Well don't get too excited Tramplee, it seems Woody has a little plot up his sleeve. When he goes to see Leo, he tells him that he will drop the charges against him and give him the million dollars he swiped if he never sees Tramplee again. I can't see Leo agreeing to that one. I think he likes Tramplee more than he likes money.

The haunting of Edmund by his sick and twisted father, Alf, continues. I know some of you out there aren't really enjoying this storyline, but I am. Edmund is so full of rage that he conjured up his dead father in his mind. Edmund has a lot to full rage about, and it's finally coming to the surface. Starting with the mistreatment he got at the hands of Alf, continuing on with finding out years later that Alf wasn't even his father, but that Hugo Marick was. Then he had some good years when he fell in love with Maria and they adopted Sam. You can throw in a little bit of rage when Kelsey tried to take Sam back, but that ended in their favor. Then Dimitri sleeping with Maria, oh that's a huge amount of rage. Then Maria "dying" and Dimitri trying to claim Maddie as his child. Yep, more rage. And Edmund seemed to get over it all. But now, Dimitri rises from the dead for the second time only to claim his wife, who Edmund had fallen in love with and planned to marry. It seems that Edmund has finally reached his breaking point. The way I see it, his rage and subsequent hallucinations are a culmination of all these events, not just Alex and Dimitri reuniting and leaving him in the dust. And Alf seizes every opportunity to taunt Edmund in his mind with all these things. How Dimitri always wins, how Dimitri is going to steal everything from him... his woman, his children, his home. And all the while, he calls Edmund weak and a sissy for not doing anything about it.

In the meantime, while Eddie is trying to get Alf out of his head, Dimitri and Alex have gone up to the main house to see Sam and Maddie. They are playing with the kids and having a great time. Sam shows Dimitri a picture he painted for Edmund, and tells Dim that he painted it for him because he's so sad. Wow, not only can Sam actually talk but he noticed the mood of a father he never sees. That is one perceptive kid. Of course, right on cue as they're all having a great time, Edmund comes home and sees them all together. He can hear Alf in his head saying that Dimitri is going to take everything from him, including his children. The kids run to Edmund and hug him and Sam gives Eddie the picture. Edmund thanks him, then thanks Eugenia for taking care of his kids. Eugenia replies with, "Being with them took years off my life." Oh come on now Euggie, they can't be that bad can they? I know what she meant really, but it sure didn't come out right! And I must say it again, that Maddie is one adorable child.

Once Eugenia takes the children from the room with Alex helping her, Dimitri tells Edmund that he'd like to take the kids on a camping trip. I wonder what camping is like to Dimitri... does he stay at a three star hotel instead of a five star hotel? Whatever it is, Edmund says no way will he take his kids anywhere. Dimitri then realizes that the time is right to tell Edmund that he and Alex are moving out and Edmund counters him by saying he has decided to sell Wildwind. Dimitri is not at all pleased about this, but Edmund tells him that the house is his, Hugo left it to him, and he can do whatever he wants with it. Dim tells him that he'll buy the house then, but Ed isn't interested in selling it to him. It turns really nasty really fast when Dimitri starts to plead with Edmund not to sell Wildwind and that his children deserve to grow up there. But Edmund isn't budging and it turns physical when Dimitri sees Edmund clenching his fist. Dimitri gets in Edmund's face, telling him to "hit me the way Alf used to hit you." When they start a full fledged fight, Alex comes in and breaks it up. She can't believe they are acting this way and realize that something has to give. Alex asks Edmund why he destroyed Dimitri's memorial plaque in the mausoleum. Dimitri doesn't believe Ed would do such a thing, but Edmund admits he did it. Alex then drags Dimitri out and back to the Hunting Lodge before another fight breaks out.

Alex tells Dimitri that they should leave, their presence is hurting Edmund too much. They talk about moving to Vadsel, but suddenly Dimitri has had a change of heart and tells Alex that he won't be driven out of his own home and he cannot abandon Edmund this way either. Dim tells Alex that he cannot let Edmund sell Sam, Maddie and Anton's heritage. But Alex tells Dimitri that Edmund is out of control, she can see it, and is frightened for all of them. She fears something terrible is going to happen. And all the while, Alf is taunting Edmund telling him that selling the house won't make him go away. He's never going to leave Edmund alone. He then tells Edmund that he has to get rid of Dimitri. For being such a persistent little hallucination, I'm giving Alf this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award. He's actually starting to convince Edmund too, this can only get more interesting in my opinion!

J. Joey Jake Martin and his wife Jellybean go on a date, dinner at the Valley Inn. They are nauseatingly lovey dovey. But as soon as they arrive, JJJ gets paged and goes off to call the hospital. This gives Jellybean the opportunity to see Ryan on his date with Leslie Coulson. Ryan introduces them and Leslie senses a lot of tension there. Jellybean is visibly saddened when Ryan and Leslie walk off and tells Jake she'd rather go somewhere else for dinner when he comes back. You know what Jellybean, too damn bad. She is really irking me. So much so that for this week I am changing the name of the slap award to the JELLYBEAN ANDRASSY LAVERY MARTIN COMMEMORATIVE SLAP AWARD. Oh yes, she is the first recipient. Why is it that she can be with JJJ, try to make love with him, go out with him, kiss and cuddle with him but Ryan can't go out on a date in public without her getting that stricken expression on her face? Ugh. Then JJJ takes her home to Wildwind and she doesn't hear any of the commotion mentioned above. Good thing Wildwind has sound proof rooms.

It gets even more nauseating when JJJ and Jellybean entertain the sick children in the hospital and give them Halloween costumes. Then they play "Beauty and the Beast" for the kids and I really want to puke. But hold on, there's a worse scene than this coming up. First though, Joe interrupts the fun (barf) because JJJ got an overnight letter about an experimental drug that can help cure impotence. David happen to overhear where the letter came from and his curiosity gets the better of him. He goes to find Jellybean to grill her about what JJJ is researching while JJJ and Joe discuss the project. But JJJ sees David and Jellybean talking and tells him to stay out of his way and to leave his wife alone. OK, here it comes, this weeks MOST VOMIT INDUCING SCENE. JJJ takes Jellybean back to the sun porch and turns on some music and they share a dance. I'm going to be ill, I swear! JJJ is all happy go lucky because boinking is in his near future with this new drug. Then they decide to go celebrate and head back to the Valley Inn. Oh I guess it is the next day so Ryan should be gone and it's OK to go back. David secretly follows them and then pays off the VI worker who goes to check JJJ's coat and briefcase. David ransacks the briefcase to find out what JJJ is working on while JJJ is telling Jellybean about the research. Then JJJ, who practically already has a boner just by learning of this research, decides that he should take Jellybean to dinner in NYC and they head to Tad's office to ask if they can use his private jet. Nice to have a brother in high places huh?

Liza watches the surveillance tape of her and Arlene's struggle over and over but neglects to go back any farther than the struggle. Too bad, she'd have figured it all out if she did. But her guilt is the driving force right now, the guilt that she caused Arlene's miscarriage. Without being overly graphic, why didn't the doctors notice that there was no, uh, proof of this miscarriage? How come they didn't realize that it happened before the fall is what I'm saying. I'm trying to be delicate here, but there is usually proof of a miscarriage that is left behind. It seems to me that Arlene left that proof in the bathroom at Chandler Mansion, which would mean that it happened before the fall. Now don't go getting all over my case, it's a valid argument and one the doctors at PV Hospital should have picked up on.

Adam comes in to find Liza torturing herself with the tape and takes it out of the VCR and throws it away. He tries to assure Liza that it's not her fault, but Liza isn't so sure. She tells Adam that she hated Arlene and maybe on some level, she wanted this to happen. She goes on to say that all this means that she and Adam cannot be together. I don't really know how the two things are related but she insists that nothing good can come out of their love. Adam rushes upstairs to get Colby, which he considers something good that came out of their love, and Liza fishes the tape out of the garbage and steals it. I suppose that Colby is something good that came out of their extremely dysfunctional and co-dependent relationship. But considering how she was conceived, even that is a stretch.

MEANINGLESS DRIVEL OF THE WEEK - Hayley bought a bunch of baby clothes and then went to return them after Arlene suffered the miscarriage. Mateo found her at the mall and talked her into keeping the clothes for their own baby when they have one. Then they rolled around on their bed back at home a little. Yuk.

MDOTW Part II- Ryan saunters into WRCW with three stunning model types, tosses around some orders and schedules airtime to make a commercial for Hayley, who is in charge because Liza isn't there, gives the OK for Ryan to do this. Back up... since when does a talk show host become second in command? And now that I'm thinking about it, how does Liza ever have time between running Chandler Enterprises, taking care of Colby, pushing Arlene down stairs, and fending off Adam, to ever be at WRCW anyway? So, Ryan gets these three women to make a commercial for him, but Hayley and Becca, who is suddenly a producer, aren't too impressed with it. They redo the whole thing, this time just starring Ryan. I think those women who have about three seconds of directing and producing experience between them actually had the right idea.

Back at Chandler Mansion, Arlene is back home and even Winifred is nice to her. Seems everyone is trying to be nice to her and she's eating it up. She's already over the loss of her baby and trying to come up with a new plan to snare Adam. But Adam has other plans and sends everyone out of the room so he can talk to Arlene. He hands her the divorce papers and tells her he promised her $700,000. and she will get it. But just as Arlene is about to sign, Liza walks in and chastises him for badgering her with divorce papers while she's still recovering from a miscarriage. Liza then tries to apologize to Arlene and she plays right into Arlene's hands really. Arlene won't forgive her and in fact, continues to blame her for the miscarriage. Oh Arlene, you can't leave well enough alone huh?

Nessie comes back and tries to get Arlene to see the reality that she should take the money and run. But Arlene tells her that if she can't win Adam's heart, she'll go for his wallet. Arlene claims that she's a realist, well honey, you've got to be the most delusional realist I've ever seen! Nessie reminds her that she should get a cut of the money since she came up with the scheme to blame Liza for the miscarriage. And just as they are laughing about pulling it off, Mateo walks in and realizes they are plotting. Later he convinces Hayley of this too.

Since Bianca is sick and tired of Erica trying to pick her clothes and run her life, Jack takes Bianca to the mall to do some shopping. While Bianca is off at a store to buy something "private" Jack spots some cheerleaders from PVH selling candy bars or something and goes to talk to them. And when Bianca sees him, she goes over to get him and drag him away from Muffy, Buffy and Babs. But Jack wants to introduce them to that Bianca will have friends on the first day of school. I suddenly have intense flashbacks of being in high school and being made fun of by all the "popular" kids because I didn't conform to them. And I suddenly see my Doc Marten boot kicking some cheerleader ass. Oh yeah, life is good. And like most parents or parental figures, Jack is oblivious to the 'tude these teenage wenches are giving Bianca. That is until they realize who she is. Once they figure out that Bianca is Erica Kane's daughter, they are all sweetness and light. Jack is thrilled, Bianca is mortified.

When she finally gets him away from them, she tries to explain to him that she wants people to like her for her, not for who her mother is. It's a pretty cool scene then when Bianca tells Jack that he reminds her of her father, and breaks down in Jack's arms. Thank you AMC for letting Bianca continue to mourn for her beloved father. It's only been a few weeks and sometimes these things just disappear. I'm glad she is still thinking about Travis and missing him. Jack tells Bianca that he knows he cannot replace her father, but he will be there for her whenever she needs him.

Over at Erica's house, Erica has dragged out a box of her high school memories including a sweater from PV High that looks like it might fit someone three times her size. She tells Opal that she's trying to remember what it's like to be Bianca's age so maybe she can relate to her better. Opal tells her that it was good that she didn't read Bianca's journal, but then realizes that she actually did and chastises her for it. Erica tries hard to justify it, but her rationalization really falls flat. That doesn't stop her from going to get the journal again and trying to read it, only to discover that Bianca has torn the pages out so she can't read them. She realizes that something awful must have happened to Bianca and races to the school to talk to her. Oh that is just brilliant Erica.

So, at school, Bianca had a chat with her guidance counselor, Mrs. Singer, and decides she likes her. She tells Bianca that she can come to her for any reason and then Bianca goes off to find her locker. Well, it turns out that once she's there, Muffy, Buffy and Babs show up and tell her they were going to decorate it for her and give her a mirror for the inside. Bianca isn't into vanity and doesn't really want a mirror but they ignore her. Next thing you know, we see Junior and Marcus, the teenage stud puppy, walking down the hall talking about soccer. Marcus eyes Bianca and wonders aloud to Junior who the babe is. Well, Junior just happens to know the babe and takes Marcus over to meet her. I can only imagine how mortified Junior must have been when Bianca said, "oh hi Junior!" Didn't he try to get people to start calling him AJ at one point? I guess it didn't stick. Anyway, Marcus is all over Bianca like fly paper, causing some big pangs of jealousy from Muffy, Buffy or Babs, not sure which one.

Later, when Erica shows up at school, Bianca is really ticked. Erica tries to tell Bianca that she's just worried about her and knows something is bothering her and has since she's come to Pine Valley. Erica tells her she thinks something has happened and that it happened before she came there. A very angry Bianca drags Erica and Mrs. Singer into an empty classroom and tells some outlandish tale about her being in a cult from outer space. Erica is not too pleased with this attitude and Mrs. Singer leaves so they can talk alone. Erica urges Bianca to confide in her and that there is nothing she can't tell her, and only wants to help. Bianca tells her that Barbara was right and that she did meet someone in rehab, but she's afraid Erica won't understand. Erica then makes the drastic mistake of quoting Bianca's journal, which sends Bianca into a state. Bianca tells Erica that she can't live with someone who doesn't respect her privacy and is moving out.

In a rare moment, we see Jack at home, in his apartment. Seems he's living in Belinda's apartment and I can't remember if I knew that or not. I thought he lived at the Valley Inn. Maybe he took over the apartment when Belinda left town though. Makes sense to me. Anyway, Bianca shows up and tells him she wants to move in. He says OK, and then they sit down for a talk. He tells Bianca that Erica loves her more than anything and always puts her first. Bianca doesn't think so, she thinks that she's a distraction for Erica since she's between husbands. Jack tries to assure her that that is not true. Then Erica interrupts them by calling Jack's to see if she's there. Bianca tells her she is going to stay with Jack for awhile and Erica gives in.

In distress over thinking she has ruined her relationship with Bianca for good, Erica seeks comfort from David. How convenient, he just happens to be in his room at the Valley Inn. She tells him that Bianca moved out and that she's made a mess of things. He tries to be understanding and comfort her. Then Erica has a real "boo hoo" type moment when she says, "why does everyone I love leave me?" Spare me Erica! You drive them away! Anyway, David takes pity on her and decides to give her a pity boink.

SPOILER ALERT - If you don't want to know, then don't read this part. In fact, the Editorial is done, you don't have to read any further. Stop now! It has been confirmed that Bianca will in fact be a lesbian. I know I know, it's been confirmed 105 times. But I don't believe it until I see it or hear it from someone I trust, and I finally have. This is just my policy and it works for me. I expect this bit of information to come out this week! But it may take a little longer for Erica to find out.

This weeks AMC gets a B. Good stuff with Bianca, with Edmund, and with Leo and Tramplee. In general, just not too bad of a week.