The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


November 28, 2001

Things are really heating up in Pine Valley!! Let's start with the Proteus story. I know many of you are not liking it but I sure am! I think the best thing about it, personally speaking, is that I have no idea who Proteus is! I love that. Being a webmaster for a soap website means that I usually know what's going on ahead of time because of spoilers and whatnot. But I am totally in the dark with this Proteus story. I've heard the theories from A to V too... that's from Adam to Val. Who do I think it is? Well I've said from the minute we saw him that I thought it was Mr. Dunn, Marcus's father. The man had a lot going on and he seemed to have the police commissioner in his hip pocket. The problem with this theory? The new headwriter has phased out all of the incidental teens... Marcus, Heather, Mindy, Shannon. So to have Proteus be Marcus's father now, seems a little strange. Speaking of Marcus, I'm asked this question a lot, "what ever happened to Marcus? Is he still in the coma?" Well, I already answered the first part, Richard Culliton phased him and the rest of the teen brigade out. Is he still in a coma? No. Marcus came out of the coma the same day that Hayley gave birth to Lorenzo.

So, since it's most likely not Mr. Dunn, I don't really have any other theories so for the time being I'm sticking with him. I do think the revelation isn't going to happen for awhile yet and that it will be a shock. At this point, it pretty much has to be. What don't I like about this storyline? Mateo's involvement. Whenever anything goes a little bit awry, Mateo turns right back into Assholeo. The guy has some serious rage issues. He cannot handle the slightest change from the normal routine without turning into some kind of two headed Mateo monster. Instead of telling Hayley from the beginning what was happening, he lied and snuck around. Um, Mateo, Hayley's father is Adam Chandler, the most powerful man in Pine Valley... don't you think maybe he could have helped you out of this latest mess that you made worse by being a lying Assholeo?? Probably. But he'd rather abuse his wife and neglect his newborn instead of being honest. That's one hell of a guy. And for being the biggest Assholeo there is, Mateo gets this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award. And the award for OH WOE IS ME award goes to Hayley for always thinking that Mateo's attitude is her fault. For a minute there I was so proud of her for standing up to him and telling him she could think for herself. But then she had to tell Ryan how Mateo's 'tude is all her fault. Then I had a real PASS THE HANDBAG moment when she went on to say that he's never been like this before. Oh Hayley, how easily you forget!! Remember when he woke up from his coma and treated you like a chewed up piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe all in the name of protecting what was his? Remember how when you broke up and he shoved a glass of vodka in your face? Remember when he held a finger gun against your head and said, "Bang, you're dead to me." Remember how he always manhandled your mother? Remember all those things??? I do.

I have to admit that I am a bit disappointed in the Leo/Greenlee reunion thus far. For one thing, it was just too easy for Leo. He suddenly has a revelation that he does not love Laura and doesn't want to marry her again, tells Greens he's sorry and ta da! They are once again engaged. The funny thing is, Greenlee wants Jake to fight for her. You can see it in her face. But what does that mean? That she is in love with Jake or that she just loves having two men fight over her? I think she has feelings for Jake. I think Jake was the voice of reason in her life that she was sorely lacking for so long. But Leo is her true love. I think Leo should have to grovel a little and fight for the woman he wants. Greenlee fought for him for months and months, to no avail. And all Leo has to do is apologize? It's not enough and I think Greenlee will realize that soon too.

Greenlee has matured a little bit since Leo left her for Laura. She's realized that there is more to life than being irresponsible and not having a care in the world. Leo's try at being noble failed miserably. All he could do is lie. He lied to Greenlee, to Laura, to Brooke and mostly to himself. He has a bit of growing up to do.

In the past few months we watched Laura go from needy obsessive loser to total loony toon. The transition was gradual and rather believable I thought. While trying to hold onto the man she loves, or at least thought she loved, her obsession got worse and worse. She stopped at nothing to rid her life of her rival, Greenlee. While I've never been a big Laura fan, I think her upcoming departure from AMC is a big cop out. I really can't stand the words "storyline dictated" when news of a character leaving the show hits. Granted, I think Laura needs intensive electro-shock therapy, but I also think she should have to deal with some of the consequences for her actions. Like taking Aunt Phoebster's pills. She had no regard for Phoebs health when she took those pills. And how about all the lies she told. Why doesn't she have to face any kind of consequences? Is Oak Haven enough? I don't know if that's how she's being written out or not, but it seems like the most logical way. I can't see her dying after all this. That would really anger the Gillian fans who never wanted Laura to get her heart in the first place. And I sure can't stand to see Brooke lose another child. Will she and Bianca make amends before she goes or will that just completely drop? Will the door remain open for yet another Laura to come back?

While I'm still on Laura, for the LINE OF THE WEEK... I have one saved. It was said by June, played by Meredith Viera from "The View" in her guest appearance. She was Laura's wedding planner. Laura had just thrown one of those deranged hissy fits at her, to which June responded with: "I hope the groom takes this as a sign and heads for the hills. No man has done enough evil to deserve a life sentence with you Bridzilla!" How hilarious was that! Bridzilla!! I love it!

Speaking of the wedding... it seemed pretty fitting to me that Laura had to hire someone to be her maid of honor/friend. She's alienated everyone else in her life. Bianca was actually her only friend and she completely destroyed that relationship. But what I don't understand is why no one seemed to find it odd that this woman, Susan, came out of nowhere. I think Brooke would know that Laura didn't keep in touch with any of her friends when see was homeless. It was very interesting when Brooke, Phoebs and Susan did the whole pre-wedding ritual with Laura. Brooke gave her something old... beads. Phoebs gave her something borrowed... a diamond bracelet that Langley gave her. In a brilliant use of history, Phoebster went on to explain that since they were from Langley, they were of course not real. We all know that Langley was a con artist who never had a dime. It was great to hear that explanation. But it just made it painfully clear that AMC has not giving Louis Edmonds (Langley) the send off he deserves. And Susan gave Laura something blue, food stamps! Laura was not too pleased by that gift, but the funny thing is that Susan was being sincere.

There have been several things lately that I have found to be completely pointless. First one would be Liza's pregnancy. First of all, she had her pregnancy faint a day after she had sex with Ryan outside the turret. Yes, they had sex again a few days after that, but the faint... the telltale sign of a pregnancy on soaps, was one day after the first time. It was pretty obvious to me from that moment on that Liza would miscarry. But what was the point of all this? To show us yet again what a monster Adam can be because while struggling with Liza she fell off a step and had a miscarriage? And why make this Ryan's child? Has the guy not suffered enough!? First his wife, then his mother, now his child? Poor Ryan is becoming the Andy Sipowitz of AMC... if I see him wearing a short sleeved shirt with a tie I think I may go mad!!! So, what was the point of this whole pregnancy and making Ryan the father? Just to cause Ryan even more despair?

Next "I don't get it" thing is Frankie being Vanessa's niece. Why? What was the point? Frankie was a con from the beginning and that never changed. Isn't it amazing when Erica is actually right! She never said she was gay, she never made a move on Bianca in a romantic way. She was playing her from the beginning. The problem was, she started to feel guilty. Bianca falling in love with her was not part of the plan I would think. But making her Vanessa's niece... what was the point of that? Is it just so that Vanessa could hear Erica threaten Frankie's life and accuse her of the murder? She didn't have to be her niece for that to happen. It just seemed odd. Is it because a new character can't come to Pine Valley without some kind of relationship to someone who is already there? Damn is that old!

And what about this Frankie and JR scene? How weird was all that. Frankie was acting like JR was sent to her. The way she said... "you know why you're here" was just so strange. So we knew Frankie was a con, that she dabbled with drugs, and now are we to think she was also a ho? But when would she have time to turn tricks? Bianca was always with her. Personally I think Frankie was working for Proteus. I think he realized that she was becoming more of a liability than and asset and had her killed.

Speaking of JR... what do I think of the new JR? Well, I'm still on the fence with this. He's awfully cute, although he does have Martin brows. I think the change was just too drastic and will take some getting used to. Jesse McCartney was so loved and so young. JR is now suddenly this big strapping young man. He's suddenly about 17 or so when the last time we saw him he was 14. He's so tall that Dixie has to look up at him. So yes, the change is very drastic, but I'm willing to give the kid a chance. The new Jamie is also much older, but somehow still seems like more of kid. While I'm at it, can someone please give Sammy a haircut!

Let's talk SCENE OF THE WEEK... it is without a doubt, Erica and Bianca's final fight about Frankie. This scene was so riveting I couldn't tear my eyes away. Both Eden and Susan were incredible and as I watched it, I thought to myself... this is the Emmy reel. Bianca's anguish and realization that her mother still does not accept her for who she is, while Erica tried with all her might to prove that she does was simply outstanding. Both woman deserve PERFORMER OF THE WEEK kudos. Now the question is... did Bianca kill Frankie in a crime of passion? She did tell Erica that if she lost Frankie, she wouldn't be able to handle it. And seeing her with a boy (JR, whom she didn't recognize) was losing her. But I don't think she did it. I said above I think Frankie was another casualty of Proteus. But that may not come out immediately. I would bet that Erica thinks Bianca did it, and maybe Bianca will think Erica did it.

Here's another head scratcher... why on earth would Erica pick up the gun after finding Frankie dead. And geez... how many revelations is Chris Stamp going to have!? He's a janitor, no he's a secret agent. He doesn't know Anna, wait yes he does. He never saw Ryan's father before, oops... yes he did, he killed him in some kind of drug raid. He loves Erica, no he made up, wait... he really does love her. And now he's a lawyer too!? So what else should we expect... Chris is really Proteus who is a double agent who worked with Anna and is really Robert Scorpio who is also Ryan's father? Give me a freakin break!

I totally loved Leslie's most recent return. I don't know what it is about her, but she's such a fun loony. I absolutely love watching her. She makes me laugh. And when she was doing her little wedding ceremony to Tad, I was peeing my pants! I about died when she said... "holy moly matrimony" but it got even better when she, officiated and participated in her wedding. "Repeat after me, I Leslie. 'I Leslie' Take you Thaddeus 'Take you Thaddeus'" Priceless!! What a shame that she's gone again. But good for Colleen Dion snagging a role on ATWT!!

Well... in conclusion, I think AMC is in a huge upswing and is getting better and better every day. I personally really enjoyed the Thanksgiving show. I thought it was such a wonderful departure from all that is going on in Pine Valley. To see everyone come together, no storylines addressed, moved forward, moved backward, it was nice. The whole point, if you missed that part, was to bring everyone together and give thanks for what we have. This was done because none of the soaps are addressing the attacks of September 11. This was their way of saying they are thankful. In the process they brought everyone together to see baby Lorenzo, the future of Pine Valley. I loved it, it was moving and touching and it was so great to not have to think about why Tad and Dixie were together when they just broke up. Why was Brooke there when Laura is in the hospital... yadda yadda yadda. That wasn't the point. The point was togetherness and giving thanks. It's not a bad thing to stop and be thankful and we all sure have a lot to be thankful for considering what our country has experienced the past few months. Kudos to AMC for this show!