The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


November 17, 1997

The Budapest adventure begins! So far, it's a real snore. GloHo is so incredibly blinded by all the money and extravagance around her, I think she may have actually forgotten who she is. She loves it all...the wine, the dinner she cannot pronounce, the castle, Budapest, her life and the guy who got that diamond dress for her. Oh, I guess that would be Dim huh? So just how did he get not one, but two hand made dresses for her so fast! He said he called from the plane when she was asleep. Did he happen to have a tape measure with him too? Or did he just call up the designer and say I need two gowns, size stick. Why is that when Dimitri speaks, women go into a trance and just say "Yes Dimitri." Gloria does, so does Corvina. Why is it that these two reasonably intelligent women (ok, that's giving them both way too much credit) just have no trouble excepting that Edmund has gone off the deep end and is delusional? Does Dim have some kind of weird psychic power? And what about Tad? Wake up Tad!! Are you really still carrying a torch for the stupidest woman on the face of the earth? Do you really want someone in your life who can be so easily swayed by Dracula? And speaking of which, did I miss Dim biting Gloria's neck? I know he must have, since she seems like the walking dead. And now it looks like she might actually stand behind him when all this is done and Maddie is back at Wildwind!? What is that about? Gloria convinces Dimitri to go back to Pine Valley to clear his name? Just when I think Gloria can't be any dumber, she proves me wrong! But back to Tad. Tad and Edmund, for that matter. I'm sorry, but I thought the whole thing with them in drag was so incredibly moronic! I hated it. Comic relief? I don't think so, I didn't even crack a grin! These customs officials were relentless in trying to get Edmund back on a plane to NY, but they are stupid enough to fall for Edmund in a dress trying to get into the country? And why did Tad have to dress up too? He had already been ok'd to enter Hungary. And where did the wigs come from? Did Rhonda and Harriet just happen to pack those too? And Edmund never thought far enough ahead as to how to get Maddie out of Vadsal? Smooth move. Of course, they get caught and we know that Dimitri will lock them in the wine cellar. I have no idea what his plan is. I hadthought that maybe Gloria would come to their rescue, but I'm having my doubts. I just don't think she could see past the diamonds and champagne. So how do they win this? I guess we will have to wait and find out!


And speaking of lame, the Iron Person competition is finally (just about) over. zzzzzzz...oops, sorry, nodded off for a minute there. How uninteresting is this? The build up for this stupid competition has been going on for so long and I knew it would be boring from the get go. Oooh intrigue because Allie gets a phone call. The mystery man from her past, David Hayward called to wish her luck. Who cares! So, he's her husband? Her former husband? Her professor from college who she boinked to get a good grade? I don't know and I just don't care! And care even less that Dr. David Hayward will be on the show starting the last week of November. That means we have a lot of Allie being uncomfortable to look forward to. And to all you out there who actually thought that Allie would end up being Joe's long lost daughter, I told you it was very unlikely and it looks like I was right. Jake and Allie kissed, that's just too incestuous to make them siblings now. The best part of this whole Iron Person thing was hearing Kelsey call Gillian Ms. Euro Disco!!! I about died!! So are the AMC writers actually reading what I'm writing? Do you think that using the word disco was a little nod in the Diva's direction? Hmmm makes ya think! So while I have my big chance...WRITERS: Give Allie and Jake a storyline or put them out of our misery!!! I can't take it anymore!!! (And hey, are you looking for another writer? I'm available!)

Hold onto your seat folks, it's time for me to be positive! I just loved the scene between Kevin and Opal this week. It was great! Full of heart and acted so well by both Ben Jorgenson (glad you're keeping the old name Ben!) and Jill Larson. And I have to say that Kevin is looking extremely cute lately. You go boy!! Poor Opal has been getting the snub from her two fave guys lately, and good for her, trying to straighten it all out. Her talk with Kevin was so touching. But now, onto my man Palmer. I would think that if Kevin could forgive her, he can too. I felt so bad for her when he snubbed her yet again and made fun of her clothes. That was just not too nice Palmer. You fell in love with that Opal, she has not changed. OK, so you're going back to your ruthless ways, but there's no need to alienate your wife hon. Let her off the hook. She didn't sleep with a murderer like you did, PC.

And while I'm talking about Palmer, I love that he wants to stick it to Adam! Some of the best stuff from past years was the war between these two. I can't wait to see all that heat up again. Sure he has no real reason, like Hayley said, other than wanting to crush Adam, but who cares! I love it! Palmer has needed something good to do for awhile now and he's finally getting it! That let's get Adam meeting was rather bizarre though, and it's leading up to this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED AWARD. Palmer gathered all the people who were affected by the TransGlobal problems. Well, everyone but the families of all the other victims, but that's besides the point. Personally, I don't think that Adam should have to take FULL responsibility for all this mess. He ordered the cutbacks, yes, but he didn't order the faulty parts nor did he install them. There are others involved, it's not ONLY Adam, that's all I'm saying. And I feel bad for him, even though I want them all to get him good just because it's fun to watch. Adam had a great scene with Skye, but somehow I just don't think we have seen the last of her. Just a feeling. But anywho, this weeks SLAP AWARD goes to Mr. Self Righteous himself, Mateo. Oh, I cannot even hide my feelings for this guy anymore. I've tried to be diplomatic about it because I know he is very well liked, but I hate him! He could give a crap about his wife's feelings in all this, could care less that he's seeking revenge on her father, has no qualms about threatening her father in front of her. Hey Mateo, do you ever stop to think of anyone but yourself? I think this has gone way past wanting to preserve Maria's memory and stopping any other tragedies from happening. If it were about Maria, he would have accepted the offer of having a wing of the hospital built and named for her. Now it's all about revenge. And while I want Palmer to stick it to Adam good, I hope that Adam sticks it to Mateo good too!

Tim's really getting on my girl Janet's case huh? I've said it beforeand I will say it again. I think that Tim has every right to feel the way he does, but his tactics are really wrong. He's so full of anger and so full of rage... which makes me think that this is not going to get any better anytime soon. This week, he steals her car. I wonder what he's got up his sleeve? I sense big trouble. And I suspect he'll be getting help from the most stupidly named character I can think of... Oyster Cracker. I was thinking that the way to get Tim in good with Janet would be for him to get in some really big time trouble, danger even, and then Janet would save him. It's so soapy, and I don't really know if that would actually be what happens. I think that Tim is so full of anger that if she did save him, he still wouldn't forgive her, but just accuse her of saving him to get in good with him. I think they are doing a good job here. I'm proud of Amanda for not snubbing Janet when she found out the whole truth. And I'm so glad it's all finally out in the open! It's about time! Tim got to say this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK. The scene was Tim and Trevor arguing... again. Janet was outside. Tim said, "Ok, I get it. She's a hero. Why don't we name a street after her, like Crowbar Blvd."