The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998

November 11, 2004

Oh my, the show is heating up so much! It's inching towards a payoff painfully slow. Let's not wait another second of time. This Editorial reflects the week of November 1 (with possibly a little of November 8 and 9 tossed in). I'm going with all my faves for music today. I'm starting with the Ramones "All This Stuff and More (vol. 1)" followed by a compilation representing the Bauhaus/Tones on Tail etc. family, then Redd Kross "Third Eye," Social Distortion "Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell," and last but by no means least, The Clash "London Calling."

I'm going to start with the MEANINGLESS DRIVEL OF THE WEEK, and get it out of the way. Ethan is arrested for Ryan's shooting, again. Oh I'm so bored, can Zalex just admit he's his father already and quit being so sure that everyone in town will crucify Ethan if they knew he was really a Cambias. What has happened to Zalex since admitting he's Alexander Cambias? Anything? No. Instead we get to see the same scene between Ethan and Zalex over and over. Ethan, "You owe me nothing." or "I don't want anything from you." Zalex: "I want to help," or "Be glad you're not a Cambias." MOVE ON.

A lot of fans, myself including, have been speculating that the real shooter is none other Ryan's brother, Jonathan. It makes a lot of sense really, but don't worry... if I'm giving something away here, it's unintentional because I'm not confirming it to be true since I don't know. But let's look Jonathan's motive. It's weak, but we're going to assume he's unstable. He's bitten a few people's heads off for no reason at all, and then immediately apologized, trying to cover his own volatile behavior with an apology. He could very easily be harboring a deep grudge with Ryan, instead of looking up to him. What do we know? We know that after a particularly horrible beating, Ryan took off and never went back, leaving little brother Jonathan and little sister Erin with the father from hell, Patrick Curry (yes, Curry... not Lavery. When Ryan started his new life, he took his mother's maiden name, Lavery. A little fact the writers seem to have forgotten when they introduced Jonathan as Jonathan Lavery, not Jonathan Curry). Did Jonathan start to take on the beatings Ryan was getting? That could be enough reason to harbor a grudge. Maybe he wants to get back at Ryan for leaving them with Evil Dad.

And while we're on Jonathan, it's also possible he's responsible for Greenlee's kookiness, by drugging her. I'm not convinced of this one as much though. Is this Princeton drop-out really smart enough to pull off all of this? I know he's no David Hayward and David is our resident Dr. Jekyll. Would AMC have someone else dabbling in drugging someone? I don't know. But I'll take this opportunity to segue into Greenlee's wacko behavior. She goes from blabbing secrets (she spilled to Ethan that she and Ryan suspected Zach is Alex, then she spilled to Anita that Kendall paid Bobby to seduce her), to opening doors naked, to going into a trance, to seeing things that aren't there, to having double vision, to just being plain old giddy one minute and angry the next. It's all very strange and would have to be some powerful drug to give her all those different symptoms and reactions. She's turned to Maria and David for help. Hopefully it won't be too long before we find out what is causing this psycho change in Greens.

That brings us to Bobby and Anita. Anita absolutely freaked when Greenlee told her what Kendall did, and when she realized what she said, Greens did try and explain to her that nothing happened and that Bobby wouldn't do it. But Anita was crushed. I found that a little strange since he tried and tried to tell her what was going on, but she fluffed him off saying "I don't care about Kendall," or things like this. She didn't want to hear it at the time, and now she's so upset she does what she always does... rushes into Aidan's waiting arms for comfort. How convenient that he's always there for her. Bobby goes looking for her so he could try and explain, and wouldn't you know it, he finds Anita and Aidan in a supply closet. Fasten your seat belts folks, it's this weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK as Bobby Warner rips into his saintly wife for the hypocrite she is, for always turning to Aidan and stringing him along. Anita lashes back that all his lies are what destroyed their marriage. Bobby tells her that he has no feelings for Greenlee and couldn't do through with it, but can she say the same? Does she have feelings for Aidan. Of course she does! I have to say, this scene alone made me LOVE Bobby Warner and I don't particularly hate Anita, I just find her to be an unreasonable harpy. I'd like to see more of this Bobby! Granted, he should have told Anita what Kendall was up to, even if she didn't want to hear it. But she can hardly put all the blame on him since she's the one who poo-poo'd him when he tried to tell her.

Bianca has come up with plan to get JR to lighten up on Babe so she goes to him with an offer... give up vendetta against Babe and agree to shared custody of Bess and she'll go to Ryan and talk him into giving Chandler Enterprises back. But JR is not interested at all and instead informs Bianca that Babe is leaving town with Jamie. Bianca can't believe it! She doesn't believe Babe would ever leave Bess. And when JR offers his friendship to Bianca, she refuses and leaves. Meanwhile Babe is saying her good bye to David, although he doesn't realize that is what she's doing. She had just come from Tad's house where she and Jamie convinced Tad and Brooke that they are in love. Now she had to convince David. David doesn't want to believe it. He's not a big Martin fan after all. Are they in love? I think they are... they act like they are playing but I think they really are, but neither wants to admit to the other.

After David goes out, Bianca arrives at the cabin to see Babe and see if it's true that she's leaving town with Jamie. Babe tells her it's all true and tries to convince her that everything will be OK. It's an amazingly emotional scenes between these two friends as Babe tries to ease Bianca's worries. Bianca finally figures out that she and Jamie are going to kidnap the baby, but of course, she thinks it's Bess they are going to kidnap since she doesn't have a clue that Ace is Babe's son. Babe tells Bianca that she's was blinded by love and made a lot of wrong decisions because of it, but assures her that Bess will be back where she belongs and that she will be a part of her life. The two share a very emotional and weepy goodbye. Wow.

Back at Tad's, he's caught Krystal in a net and he wants the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He knows there's a plan, and he knows there's a secret. He wants to know now! Krystal really wants to tell Tad, she's aching to actually, you can see it. But she won't. She's sure that Tad will never be able to forgive her, and she's probably right. Well, never is never as long in soaps as it is in real life, but you know what I mean. But just when you think Krystal might give in, in comes David... David the Great Interrupter, to hold a gun on Tad until he lets Krystal go. Did you ever notice that the minute someone is going to say something, David is there to stop them? It just keeps happening! Soon after leaving Tad's Krystal and David realize that Babe and Jamie have taken off and head to Llanview to find them. Tad follows, unbeknownst to David and Krystal.

Meanwhile, Bianca goes to see Maggie and see if she's ok, knowing that Jamie has left town, and Jonathan is there. These two, Bianca and Jonathan, do not get along. I guess because Bianca is the only one who can see there is more to Jonathan than meets the eye. But that's neither here nor there. We're supposed to believe, based on some rumors or whatever, that Bianca will become so fraught with jealousy over Jonathan and Maggie that it will propel Bianca into Maggie's waiting arms. You know, given Maggie's penchant for penis, I just don't see that happening. But hey stranger things have happened. Once Bianca leaves, Jonathan comes back with big chip on his shoulder. He's very threatened by Maggie and Bianca's friendship, so in a desperate manipulation attempt, Jonathan declares his love to Maggie. And Maggie, who is so weak, pathetic and desperate for love responds with... I'll stop hanging out with Bianca so much. And my question is, when does she ever anyway?

David and Krystal are hot on the trail of Babe and Jamie in Llanview. Amazing they not only knew that they should look at the Buchanan campaign victory celebration, but they knew exactly where it was. They split up and try to find Jamie and Babe. Jamie is busy dressing up like a dork and trying to drug Karen, the nanny, so he and Babe can snatch Ace. Meanwhile Babe (who's dressed like Jackie O) waits outside the hotel suite for Karen to nod off so she can go in and take the baby. Sure enough, this is exactly where Krystal finds her. She desperately tries to stop Babe from kidnapping Ace, but Babe's mind is made up. She assures Krystal she's going to make everything right and tells her that she wrote letters to everyone, explaining. Krystal realizes she can't talk her out of it and bids her baby doll a tearful goodbye with this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK, "Without you I'm just earrings and a good bra." Krystal goes to find David, telling him that Babe is back at the cabin and they had nothing to worry about. It's a lie, which is something Krystal has gotten real good at. David is relieved, and they head out, leaving Tad behind.

Back at Adam's, JR is huffing and puffing and asserting his manhood by telling Adam he is not his clone. Mmm hmm, we all believe that one JR. He refuses to let Adam send Jamie to prison, but when Adam makes a snide remark about how he's got Dixie's blood, JR is none too pleased and tells Adam to shut up, since Dixie raised him and all he did was groom him. Weird comment. Thankfully Brooke arrives so we can get out of that moment. Adam tells her he's very sorry but he's taking the disk to the police and Jamie will be arrested. Brooke gloats about the fact that she's got all the disks and he won't be able to use it against Jamie and Babe anymore. Suddenly JR morphs back into that unfeeling, uncaring bastard and is pissed that they have no more evidence. I don't get it.. one minute he's telling Adam there is no way he let him put Jamie in jail, the next he's angry and assures Adam that Brooke will suffer for what she's done. HUH? And now he starts to wonder why Babe and Jamie would be on the run if the disks are no longer a threat. Hmmm, I think you'll find out soon enough you evil little bastard, when you read Babe's letter!

Back at Bianca's apartment, she comes home to find Kendall and Erica already there. It turns into a mini-intervention when Bianca and Erica urge Kendall to release her pain over losing Miranda. It's a lovely Kane women moment when they all grieve together. Gots to love those Kane women! And just as Kendall is walking out, she finds Babe's letter to Bianca and tosses it on her desk, never telling her what it was.

Shifting gears to Edmund and Maria, Edmund is furious at Maria for not telling him that Zach is Alexander Cambias. So furious in fact that he wants a divorce. Overreact much? It was a lie, and it was bad. But it did not affect their lives in any way at all. It had nothing to do with their relationship. She wasn't lying to be vicious, she was lying to protect a friend. Was she wrong? Of course she was. A lie is a lie is a lie. But is it unforgivable? Absolutely not! This is his long lost wife, the love of his life who came back from the dead! But hey that doesn't matter now. He's determined to end it so he's gone and kicked Maria to the curb. Not only that, but he's called Zalex to come and get her. He's handed her over to Zalex with a simple, "take her, she's yours." Is that the most disgusting thing you've ever seen!? I know I was disgusted. And for that Edmund gets this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award. Chauvinistic much Edmund? Treat women like property to be handed off much Edmund? Pride and anger all in your head much Edmund? Yuck.

Random comments:

Jamie and Babe... er, Kate and Brad Anderson, happily start their new life with Ace... er, James, or as Kate likes to say, "Sweet Baby James." Every time she says that I think of this really great barbeque sauce we have here called Sweet Baby Rays.

What's in the water at Wildwind? Six year old Maddie is suddenly a teenager! And eight year old Sam is now presumably one too? But he's in France on an exchange program?? Wow... you know most of the time SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome) makes sense or is needed for storyline reasons. But I'm having a hard time figuring out why it was necessary this time.

Aren't those babies playing Bess and Miranda just the cutest!?

Back to the action. The letters Babe and Jamie wrote are starting to be read. Tad first. He reads Jamie's letter and it pretty much says nothing other than he's gone and don't come looking for me. Not one mention of Bess really being Miranda, not one mention of Ace being Babe's son. Just a, "hey mom and dad, I took off. See ya." I found it really odd until Krystal arrived at the door. Now I get it, it's much more dramatic coming from Krystal than it is Jamie. Tad wants answers and confronts Krystal. Oh, this is getting good. Krystal tells Tad that everything he needs to know is in that letter, but that isn't true. The letter says nothing. As Tad starts to get impatient and asks Krystal why they would run now, when there is no faux evidence against them, and how Babe could leave her own child, it starts to dawn on him. Bess isn't her child and never was. The PERFORMER OF THE WEEK Tad realizes what is going on and that Krystal knew all along. Tad's outrage grows and grows as he fits more pieces into the puzzle. Krystal starts to fill in the gaps and takes on the blame for what happened, telling Tad that Babe didn't know all along and when she found out, she was trying to protect JR. Tad asks Krystal how she lives with herself and how it felt to watch Bianca grieve and do nothing. Krystal tries to explain how she hates what they did, but Babe made a choice and she chose JR over Bianca, thinking that he loved her. If they had known what JR was up to, things would be different. But Tad isn't buying that or any excuse. He's sickened by the sight of his former love. And just as Tad is finishing with her, asking her if loving him was just part of the scam, the Great Interrupter shows up, again, after having read Babe's letter.

Oh now Tad is really pissed. He asks David how he could play Bianca's protector all the while lying to her. But David isn't having any guilt at all, not in front of Tad anyway and gloats how he figured it out long before Tad ever did. Now that's something to be proud of Davey boy. Tad's parting shot as David and Krystal leave Tad's house is, "I would give anything to be able to blame this on you," to David. And I bet he would too! As smug David and shattered Krystal leave, she tells Tad she loves him.

Now it's JR's turn, but Kendall's there visiting him when he picks it up. She tells him to go ahead and read it if he wants to, so he does. Wow, is he in for a shocker! Babe's letter tells JR that Bess is really Miranda. JR starts to choke up and tells Kendall that Babe has left town with Jamie. Kendall is so happy for JR, that he got everything he ever wanted and Babe is out of his life. But JR is visibly up and asks Kendall to go. Kendall can see he's shook up about the letter and starts to head out, but first asks him if it would be OK if Bianca visited Bess from time to time. JR tells her he needs to think on it. Now, sitting down to read the whole letter JR finds that not only is Bess not his, but that his son died in the plane crash and explains what Paul Cramer did and why. Well, not the whole why, just that he was a coward and when the Chandler's came at him he panicked and said that Miranda was theirs. It's clear he believes every word and I can't help but wonder why. He's never believed anything Babe has had to say before so why would he suddenly think she's the pillar of truth, even though it is the truth, mostly. JR immediately believed it. It seemed a little odd to me and out of character.

But then, Bianca shows up and in true JR form, the idea of his child being dead flies away and he grasps onto Bess, telling Bianca she cannot have her. Bianca can't figure out why JR is freaking out like he is, so JR realizes that Bianca hasn't read her letter yet. Bianca spots JR's letter and asks him what it says. JR sets his own freaky deaky little plan in motion by telling Bianca that the letter was all lies and he won't tell her what it says. He uses their former friendship and manipulates her, telling her he wants to make everything up to her and make sure she's part of Bess's life. He wants her to be a mother figure to Bess, now that Babe is gone. Poor Bianca, blinded by love for that child that she can't see through JR's treachery. JR apologizes for everything he's done to her and then, in a big leap of faith, he asks her to babysit while he runs some errands. Bianca is over the moon at getting to spend some time with Bess that she agrees.

JR rushes right to Bianca's apartment and breaks in, hoping to find Babe's letter to Bianca. He easily finds it sitting on her desk and reads it. While he's reading it, Erica walks in and catches him and demands that he turn the letter over to her.

And that's where we end for today kiddies. This weeks AMC gets an A- The momentum is going strong and there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. Personally speaking, I have found the baby storyline to be pretty darn good, for the most part. Although, as I've said previously, I really hate all the fake outs. But then again, the fake outs are what keeps it going and keeps it interesting... "will Tad tell her?" "will Krystal come clean?" "will David stop interrupting people?" Tune in next week!

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