The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


May 4, 1998

How is it that Allie can save Stuart and Marian, but the maintenance crew can't? How can she just shimmy her skinny little butt into that elevator shaft while everyone else is trying desperately to open the doors? And why does she tell Liza what she is going to do instead of giving her brilliant idea to the maintenance crew?? Why hasn't she left the hospital yet? How long does it take one to clean out a locker? Sheesh. Allie, on whole this week, was annoying. First she can't take her guilt anymore so she confesses to Jack. Who, in turn, being the defender of justice he is, tells her to rethink her confession and go back to work. Wow Jack, good move. That's how you solve crimes huh?

So, left with no other choice, she confesses her silly crime to Joe. Dr. Joe is none too pleased with his wonder doctor's deep dark secret and suspends her on the spot. Boo hoo, Allie cries and gets so upset that she walks all night. Then comes back to the hospital and can't seem to leave. Then she tries to help more patients and Joe gets even more ticked. What did she think, Joe would say, "hey no problem Allie... we'll just overlook your little fraud and you go right back to work hon." And when will the idea of the suspension sink into her head? Granted it does seem like a stupid crime to me, but evidently it is a crime and Allie has confessed. So now it's pay the consequences time. Is this not what she expected? Who knows, but next week her medical license gets revoked and she goes from Wonder Doctor back to mild mannered Allie Doyle. No more stethoscope, no more blood pressure cuff, no more golden lasso, no more bullet deflector wrist cuffs. I do believe she will eventually get all her props back, probably with the help of Adam, since she saved Stuart's life.

This weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED AWARD goes to (drum roll please), Camille!! Big shock huh? That girl makes me want to hurl! Oh I rhymed! She's the most annoying character. Her and her stupid letter. That letter that is all the proof in the world she needs to bring down the mighty Adam Chandler. Tad finally (sort of) comes to his senses and realizes that she's a bit kooky and tells her that her letter is not proof of anything. So she leaves and goes to see the DA. Jack tells her that her letter is not proof of anything. She gets mad, juts out her chin and automatically assumes that everyone is bought off by Adam. Why? Because everyone in the world should just take her "dead" father's word, that's why. So since Jack won't arrest Adam, she's off to find help.

Who else does she know in Pine Valley? Liza. So she goes and gives her same stupid speech to Liza. Liza, of course, being way smarter than Camille tells her that her letter is not proof of anything. Gee, where have we heard this before? So she gets mad, yet again and gives her same stupid declaration about her how trusting and wonderful her father is, how horrible of a man Adam is and how everyone should believe her and not him. OK you complete nutball, you are a stranger to everyone in Pine Valley, yet you want them all to believe you. Adam is a stranger to you, and he wants you to believe him (so does everyone else) and you find it impossible to do that. Doesn't it work both ways? You don't believe them for the same reason they don't believe you. You have no proof, no one knows you, you are nothing. Adam has no proof (yet) and you don't know him from.. well from adam! But the difference here is, Adam has supporters, you don't! I had a few moments of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with this obnoxious persona of Camille's, when she was at the hospital and was beginning to think that maybe she is wrong after all. It was nice to see her see that maybe there is another side to all this. Of course I'm sure that will change when old Lee, who I believe was introduced this week and is bunking with Mateo in the hospital, reveals himself.

It seemed awfully convenient that the guy left the room right before Adam's visit, and then came back when Adam was gone. Adam would know him. So when he's out of the hospital and back from the dead, I'm guessing that Lee and Camille will gang up on Adam. She'll finally have the ally she has been looking for.

As much as I like Dimmie, good or bad guy, his behavior is really odd. First he slams the ADA into the wall on live TV. Smooth move, then when he's set to be released from jail he refuses to leave Brooke alone. Brooke is a strong woman, I'm sure she could have handled it. And what was that singing all about? Not to mention the James Cagney impersonation. He seems to want to make light of the whole situation. Make it seem ridiculous. Sorry, but what everyone needs to realize is that Brooke killed someone! Why can't anyone see the magnitude of that? It makes no difference that Jim was a slimeball. She killed him in cold blood. Tad goes to Jack to tell him to release her. That she didn't do anything and he knows it. Huh? Wake up Tad, she lured Jim to the gallery under false pretenses, she brought a gun, she confronted him, she shot him in the back, and then shot him 3 more times. Hello? What does all this mean to you people? It means she KILLED him!!! She premeditated a murder! That spells trouble for our heroine. The only way I can see her getting out of this is a) temporary insanity of b) post traumatic stress syndrome from the crash.

So... Rosa can visit Mateo, Janet and Amanda can visit Mateo. What about Mama???

This weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK once again goes to Liza. Every scene she is in, is great. She's had scenes this week with Ryan, with Adam, with Marian and with Camille. Heck I even was able to tolerate Camille since she was in scenes with Liza. But the best scenes are with Liza and Marian. I was so happy for Marian this week when she told Liza that she wasn't too old to "smack her silly." It's about time that she get aggressive with Liza. Liza is her daughter after all and, while I definitely enjoy the slams she throws at Marian, Marian is her mother! She should have a little respect for her. Second best Liza scenes are the ones she has with Adam. I loved when she told Adam, "You will not abuse or mistreat my mother! That's my job!" And I was thrilled to see Adam finally apologize for thinking Liza had anything to do with the Camille haunting. Again, loved Liza's response to that... "Not too quick on the uptake are you." She's a stitch and a half. I just love her, I love how they write for her and I love how she's able to pull off any scene.

If I gave an award for second place for performer of the week, it would go to Marian. She was so great this week too. Her scenes with Adam are always memorable. Which is why I want them together, but I'm starting to soften to the Marian/Stuart pairing. They are always so sweet together. I do enjoy it. Adam and Marian would be fiery though. Anyway, Adam is sure to not make things easy for Stuart and Marian, which should be interesting. And he always comes up with some great zingers. Like when he said... "Happiness is not a thing called Marian. You are nothing but a cloying, self absorbed, vodka guzzling shrew!" Ouch, that had to hurt. Poor Marian, constantly being berated by everyone. Even her good buddy Opal who gets this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK. Marian was telling Opal that she's tired of being lonely and that Stuart doesn't want her anymore. So Opal tells Marian to go for it with the guy from the gym. Marian says, "He's a mere child." And Opal's reply was, "When has that ever stopped you." Oh Opal, no matter how good of galpals you become, you'll never let her forget that she seduced your little boy when he was a mere 18 years old huh?! Good for you, because we never forget those things either!

So what do you think? Are Ryan and Gillian falling in love? Can they actually now have a relationship based on honesty? I felt a little bad for Gilly this week when she found out that Ryan only married her for her money. But then again, she did the same thing. She didn't love either Scott or Ryan, but ended up marrying Ryan because she thought he was loaded. Personally I think they are already in love. And I was treated to not one, but two shirtless Ryan scenes this week. I see those ratings going up now! But what was with that hideously ugly blouse that Gillian put on this week. Who is doing the clothing shopping over at AMC? Camille had two really ugly dresses on this week. Well the chartreuse green thing was a nice style, but that color!? UGH! And then she had that other dress on that had that ugly ruffle along the bottom hemline. ICK! But Gillian's blouse was the worst! Well that and Stuart's stripped shirt with his argyle sweater! And since I'm on the subject of clothing, Liza always looks like a linebacker. She should be in some softer colors and have her suits taylored a little better. The one that gets the best suits is Marian. She always looks fab! Maybe Liza can borrow a couple from her mother's closet.

Mateo's visions are really haunting him. Do I care? Not really. How many times do we have to see them over and over and over again. We get the point. Mateo will call on the Santos family personal psychic, Frederick to help him with these visions pretty soon. Maybe Freddie will be able to help him figure out what it all means. And maybe while he's at it, he can figure out why I have to put on sunglasses whenever Mateo opens his mouth.His pearly whites are blinding!!


Esther and Faux Axel, if I can't have Esther and Stuart, why not Esther andFaux!?