The Pine Valley Bulletin
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- May 18, 1998
- It was Spine Week on AMC. Some of the people who seemed to have
lost their spines, got them back! Let's start with Hayley. She goes
from strong woman to meek child at the drop of a hat. Lately she's
been letting her bully of a husband walk all over her, make all
the decisions without discussion and order her around. Well, this
week she finally took a stand. I'm not sure it did any good since
she ended up having to fight fire with sex, but at least she took
a stand. I was getting mighty sick of big man Mateo treating her
like a dishrag. This is supposed to be the "Hottest Couple"
in daytime? Maybe he should take Edmund's advice and tell Hayley the
truth. Hell the girl has been through the ringer in her short life, I
think she could handle a vision! She got through alcoholism, a marriage
to Will Cortlandt, a marriage to Alec MacIntyre, she managed to
get past her mother being Arlene and most of all, she married Mateo!! So
he can't tell her that he visualized her dead? And anyway, if he wants
to alter the future, why on earth is he wearing the same ugly clothes that
he saw himself wearing in that vision??
- Next we have Jack. Although I'm not sure he really counts because
he's spineless with Erica, and the storyline he showed spine in
had nothing to do with Erica. Maybe next week he'll show that, but
this week was a warm up. Jack has been rough and tough with everyone
down in Pigeon Hollow. He has put Adam in his place, and he's put
Camille in her place... and he's not even in his jurisdiction! I
like this Jack. Then again, I'll like anyone who can put Camille
in her place. He's been a good moderator in this storyline, which
has desperately needed an innocent bystander. Tad is way too involved
to not show bias, even though he does seem to believe Adam over
Camille. And now that it's going to be proven that the bones are not
Joy's (which means she's probably still alive *yawn*), who's bones will
they be? There have been hints that they will be that of Bessie Cooney,
Dixie's mother. How? I have not got a clue. But this could be the lead
up to Dixie's return in July.
- Dixie's return, at the moment I'm rather indifferent to it. I was
glad to see her go a few years ago. It was time, she was way too self righteous
for my liking. She just couldn't forgive Tad for having an affair after
she herself has been the other woman numerous times. That doesn't fly with
me. Brooke was able to forgive her for sleeping with two of her husbands,
but Dixie can't forgive Tad? And now she's coming back, and the best thing
I can think of is that this return will be part of the phasing out of Camille.
I just can't see Tad choosing that wretch over Dixie, the love of his life.
I guess that's assuming Dixie would even take Tad back. Will she? I don't
have a clue. While I'm still on this horrible storyline, I want to give
out my PERFORMER OF THE WEEK AWARD. This week
it goes to Adam. Anyone who can pull off the scene he had with Camille
this week in the cabin, deserves kudos! This storyline has reduced Adam
to sitting on the floor trying to make bird calls to impress some total
imbecile, and he still pulled it off, amazing.
- That brings us to our third person to show spine this week... Tad.
The Tad of the old days would never have turned down a woman who
asked him to make love to her. To me, that shows a big maturity
growth in our Tad the Cad. I guess I'm most happy about this because
I sure don't want to see a romance between Tad and Camille, but
that's besides the point. Tad turned her down, when he really seemed
to want to have sex with her. But he didn't want to take advantage
of her during a very vulnerable time. That was very gentlemanly.
Way to go Tad!
- How pathetic can Allie Doyle get? I was ready to scream this week!
First of all, let me back up. I think her punishment was way too
severe for something that seems like such a non-crime. Not only
was her medical license revoked, but Stanford revoked her degree
and wants her to pay back all the scholarship money. Then the hospital
voted to press fraud charges against her. Now come on people! David
Hayward was guilty of attempted murder and he got fired and sent
back to CA (only to return again in a few months). A slap on the
wrist really. But Allie, who really didn't do much of anything gets
all these charges, her license revoked and her degree stripped from
her?? Excuse me, something is amiss here. OJ didn't even get this much
done to him for a double murder! So what does the no longer Dr. Doyle
do? She goes stark raving mad. She becomes a pool shark/exotic dancer/total
whacko. That whole scene in the bar made me violently ill. First of
all, she didn't seem the least bit drunk, she just seemed manic.
And then, her idiotic dance ala Hayley in Mateo's vision!? What
the heck was that?? And worst of all, her collapse at the end in
a heap on the floor, in front of all those people. Disgusting. Every
bit of it. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. OK fine, she
lost her livelihood, but did she lose her life? NO! It's up to her
to see the Allie under the Doctor moniker. I understand the shock
of losing all that, but she didn't lose everything. She lost a part
of her life, not the whole thing. When she told Jake, "I think
I lost me" I wanted to puke! Was being a doctor the only thing she
ever had in her life? If it was, then she's even more pathetic than
I thought. I'm not saying she shouldn't be upset with what has happened,
but it's not the end of her life. That's all I'm saying.
- What is up with my man Palmer?? I know he and Opal have been having
marital problems ever since Opal stuck her nose into Kevin's sexuality,
but come now! Enough is enough. It's time to start working on this
relationship. I do not like, not one little bit, how Palmer has turned
this problem into being about Opal's looks. How dare he!! She is the
same woman he fell in love with. He fell in love with kooky Opal,
wardrobe and all. Now as much as I adore the old coot, I'm very
distressed by what he is doing to Opal. I don't like how he keeps
throwing Isabella up in Opal's face. This had better never turn
into an affair for Izzy and PC. Izzy is the upstanding devout Catholic
woman. The kind of woman who would probably never date a divorced
man, let alone one that is still married! I don't really think it
will, I think Palmer is just using Izzy as a diversion. As someone
to talk to since he hasn't gotten two words for Opal lately. But the
best thing about this whole thing is, it's going to give Palmer and
Opal a much needed storyline!
- Why is it that Brooke got a hero's welcome when she came back to
Tempo? I'm sorry, she killed the man!! It doesn't matter that he
was the scum of the earth, she still killed him! And she did it
in a rather cowardly fashion I might add, shooting him in the back.
I know that particular shot didn't kill him, but she intended it
to. This charmed life that Brooke has is really a mystery to me.
No one wants her to be punished (except maybe Keith) for her crime.
Punished heck, no one even wants her to be charged! Call me crazy,
but last I heard, if you shoot someone intentionally and not in
self defense, you get punished for it. Brooke is a woman about town
without a care in the world, it seems. She's back at work, she's planning
Janet's bridal shower/bachelorette party, she's leading her normal life.
Just one little glitch, she killed her fiance recently. This week at
her trial, Tad and Dimitri come up with a plan to get her off by
lying under oath? Good move. That always works. Then Brooke, in
a totally uncharacteristic move, fakes a faint in the courtroom??
Please! That's a Marian tactic, not our responsible Ms. English.
Brooke is the stalwart citizen of Pine Valley, not someone who has
to divert attention in such a fashion.
- Liza and Marian. What a great couple of scenes these two had and
it all took place at the Pit, the new seedy hangout in Pine Valley.
First the bonding. Liza and Marian had a good old fashioned mother/daughter
talk. It was really sweet and I always like to see this side of
their relationship. Marian was right, she will never be mother of
the year, but she does love her daughter, even thought that love
sometimes gets misplaced. This leads up to the funniest scene of
the week! Marian and Liza being hit on by two rednecks, I mean Margo
and Roxanne were hit on by two rednecks! How hilarious was all this!?
When Redneck #1 asked them if they wanted to go out to the van and
get it on, I was roaring! And making it even better was Marian's
line about the van, "Oh mirrors! Oh darling, how sophisticated!"
How clever it was of Marian and Liza to pretend to be transsexuals
and send those rednecks running!! I loved when Marian told the boys,
"Last week Margo was really called Marvin!" But the absolute
best line and winner of this weeks LINE OF THE
WEEK is also Marian's, when she was telling those good old
boys about Liza's miraculous change. She said, "Shaving her
moustache was the proudest and most happiest moment of her life."
What a hoot!!
- I also loved the scenes this week with Marian and Stuart. Which
brings us the this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED
award. This week that honor goes out to Scott. What a dork! I was
so mad at him for being Adam's flunky. What is his point?! Hasn't
he screwed up his own life enough? Let Stuart be happy! But how
incredibly cute was Stuart's portrait of Marian on the Etch-a-Sketch!?
I just loved that, it was so adorable and so very Stuart.
- I have to say, I like Mike Roy a lot better when he's being truthful,
which isn't all that often these days. That really annoys me. Mike
was honest to a fault his first time around. He was strong and real.
Now he's a parody. It's really rather sickening. I suppose those
scenes in the warehouse were supposed to be funny with Erica on
the forklift trying to save Mike from nothing, but I found them
painful and annoying to watch. All this guy does is lie and put
Erica into situations that are beyond stupid. And the fact that
Erica is falling for it, makes it all the worse. I can't stand it!
I had a brief moment of liking it on Friday, when Mike was real.
He was telling Erica about when he was in the sweatbox, and his memories
of her got him through it. Now that makes a lot more sense then all
this fake danger and fake intrigue. Too bad Mike's honesty isn't going
to last. Next week, Mike and Erica get kidnapped. My guess is that Mike's
right hand man Adrian (who by the way, gets mistaken for a male stripper
at Janet's bachelorette party on his first day on the show) helps
Mike stage this dual kidnapping as yet another ploy to trick Erica
into being alone with him. It's so incredibly dumb, I would rather
not even watch it. Like I said before, the way to a woman's heart
is not to lie to her whenever possible.
- Last but not least, I have some comments on the Daytime Emmy's.
I was stunned and amazed by AMC not only winning the writing award,
but also the best show award. I'm happy that Julia Barr won the
best actress award. But what I really want to talk about is the
preshow on E! This was on two hours before the Emmy's began and
had interviews with the stars as they came in. It was hosted by
E!'s Todd Newton and Soap Opera Weekly's Editor in Chief, Mimi Torchin.
Mimi honey, if you're reading this now.... GIVE IT UP!!! She was
so incredibly awful that I'd like to give her and honorary I
NEED TO BE SLAPPED award this week! This
is a supposed soap professional? She was constantly talking to people
like they were actually their characters. These events are for the
actors, not the characters. It's about the way they portray their
character, not that they ARE that character. When talking to Julia
Barr, she asked her how many times Brooke has been nominated. Excuse
me?? Brooke has not been nominated, Julia Barr
has been nominated! How I wished that Julia would have said that to
her! It was sickening! The one time I was willing to give Mimi the
benefit of the doubt was when she called Vanessa Marcil, Brenda
Marcil. Vanessa plays Brenda on General Hospital, and although calling
her by her character name is a totally stupid thing to do, it could
have been an honest slip up. But this woman made so many of these
types of remarks that I was sitting there screaming at my TV, telling
her to shut up already!! All I wanted to do was see some of the
AMCers walking in, not listening to this morons stupid comments.
The best thing that happened during this was when Kim Zimmer (Reva,
GL) came up to her with a bunch of other actors from Guilding Light.
Kim and Mimi were talking about the storyline going on GL right now
where Reva has been cloned. Mimi says to her, "so am I talking
to Reva, or the Reva clone right now?" Kim answered with, "You're
talking to Kim." You go girl!!! Hey E!, next year, ask someone
more professional to do the interviews huh!?