The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998


June 8, 1998

Thank goodness this pseudo kidnapping ordeal is over! The whole thing was beyond ridiculous and the fact that Erica fell for every bit of it makes it even worse. As if the horrible tied together scene wasn't enough, then we had to endure this idiotic tango with no music (the music we heard was in their heads, he hadn't found the radio yet)! I can't believe how easily she is taken in. It was just all too sickening for me. I can't stand seeing Erica acting like a hussy. Mike is supposed to be the great love of her life? Spare me please! Great loves don't continually lie to their loved ones over and over again. When I was watching the wretched tango scene I said to myself, how on earth can they make this storyline any worse? Is it possible? Of course it is!

If they hadn't been "rescued" by Scott and Stuart, I had this vision of somehow Erica's clothing being ripped from her body. Accidentally of course. Then in order to pass the time, Mike and Erica do the naked cha-cha until they are saved. By this time Mike had found the radio and tunes the dial to the all night cha-cha music channel. But thank goodness for Scott and Stuart!! They opened that door rather easily no? And good for Jack! I'm so glad he didn't go running after her. Personally I think he should dump her like a hot potato, but I'm sure he won't. And Erica can deny having had sex with Mike all she wants, but she wanted it. She wanted it bad, the little tramp. And Mike? That orgasmic look he gets on his face whenever he starts kissing Erica makes me feel like I'm going to be violently ill. Thank you AMC, thank you for ruining the good memory of Mike Roy. Thank you for completely destroying a character that I know I had always enjoyed and respected. Thank you for turning the honest and straightforward Mike Roy into a disgusting, perverted, sickening, lying wretch.

While I'm thanking AMC's writers, I would also like to thank them for reducing the wonderful character of Kevin into a mere extra in the Holiday's scenes. What are you people over there thinking?? You have some wonderful actors and characters to work with and create storylines for on this show, yet you keep bringing back old characters that we were glad to see go and new characters that we can't relate to. How about creating a good solid story for the people you have already on staff? How about a story for Kevin. How about an interesting story for Ruth and Joe. No, not an affair. I don't want to see the only solid couple in Pine Valley go down that typical soap opera path. But what about a menopause story for Ruth? Or how about Joe retires as chief of staff and we see him taking on some new project? And of course Phoebe is beloved, but how about Phoebe developing Alzheimer's? Let's see a return to realism AMC, and a return the wonderful storytelling that you have always shown us in the past.

Enough of this crap you've been feeding us lately! I was so thrilled when I heard that Megan McTavish was coming back to AMC as head writer. She brought some of the greatest stories the last time she was at the helm. She created Kendall, Noah and Julia (which are my all time favorite couple), she did the wonderful Alec and Arlene story. Stories that made me run home and rewind my tape so fast! Now I'm lucky if I watch it every few days. Yes I watch them all, but I never seem to be in a hurry to do so anymore. I want to be riveted to my seat people! Want to be able to not wait until the next show! Want to feel like I don't want today's show to end. As it is right now, I am usually looking at the clock to see how much more of the show I have to sit through. And no, giving up on AMC is not an option, I have too much of my time invested in it right now to just chuck it. You're on your way back AMC, I can feel it. I had that feeling of being on the edge of my seat through the whole dinner party that Adam threw for Marian and Stuart. If you can do it with one story, you can definitely do it with more! I have faith!

Back to the action. Adam Adam Adam. Liza was right, you are evil! This was the only story this week that held my rapt attention. Poor Marian, poor Stuart. All those men, big men, small men, short men, tall men, young men, old men. All from Marian's past. How hurt and humiliated she was, while Adam held that smug little grin the whole time. I just wanted to weep for her. For pulling this stunt and lying about it right to Liza's face, Adam gets this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award. Special thanks to Tad for going ahead and punching Adam and giving the award that touch of realism this week. And to Liza for throwing a drink in his face. I swear I thought he was going to start screaming "I'm melting, I'm melting!!" And then Adam has the nerve to tell Liza he never wanted a divorce? What was he thinking? That she would just take him back after what he did to her mother? The man is delusional! Good for Stuart for coming through like the sweet man he is, and getting a complete different meaning out of the incident than Adam intended. While Adam thought that he was showing Stuart that Marian is a tramp, Stuart thought that Marian is too well liked by all to be willing to settle for him. So how long will it take for these two to find their way back to each other? Not long I hope. Bravo to Marian, played brilliantly by Jennifer Bassey. This week Marian gets PERFORMER OF THE WEEK. She was sympathetic and sad and totally great this week. And special kudos to Tad for being there for her, for lending a hand to Liza and for just being a great guy.

Gillian's little stunt this week was way beyond stupid. Sometimes I wonder if the silicone went to her brain. She's just way too dumb to be believed! To me, it's obvious that Ryan isn't interested in Hayley, but that he's jealous of the kind of love that Mateo and Hayley seem to share. He wants that too. And I think he thinks he could get it with Gillian, if she weren't such a moron! She's too busy playing games. Being the tease and brutalizing the English language. So what does she do, she invites Scott over for dinner and proceeds to throw herself at him. What a display! Although I did get a chuckle out of what she said when Scott asked if that was the dinner bell. She said, "Dinner thank heaven, I'm ravishing!" I loved how Ryan got her and threw her in the cold shower than proceeded to tease her just like she teases him. We all know they are in love, why don't they?

Dimmie and Brooke sitting in a tree, or is that a boat? At any rate, Dim and Brooke got around to discussing the possibility of a romance and Brooke turned him down. Uh huh, as I suspected. I guess that doesn't mean it can't still happen, but I just don't think it will. I find it amusing that Belinda knew to find them at the boathouse. The boathouse, which by the way is one of the big hubs of activity in Pine Valley. It seemed to be a mystery as to exactly who owns the boathouse. I'm here to clear up the mystery. The boathouse is owned by Dimitri. I know it seems odd, since Scott and Laura always went there, Anita and Bobby always went there, heck everyone goes there! But after reading some literature I got at Super Soap Weekend last year, it stated that the boathouse belongs to Dimitri. Anyway, they were at Wildwind when they discussed this possibility of romance, but they did have a little sail this week from the boathouse. So Dim asked Brooke if romance was an option, she said she wasn't ready to take on another relationship (good move Brooke, given your history with men!), but then said this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK "I'm just concerned that my new romance isn't going to be with a woman named Bertha in cellblock D." I'd be worried about that too, if I were you Brooke!

Liza wants a baby. Seems she's been thinking about this for a few weeks now, and for some strange reason asks Tad to be the father! I don't think he's going to do it though. Even though she just wants his sperm, not to sleep with him. I'm glad they didn't go there! How funny was Tad's reaction when she asked him to have a baby with her?! Liza says, "Have a baby with me," and Tad's reply is, "Sure, got any cream cheese?" I was laughing so hard I almost missed him say "Can't have a bagel without cream cheese." He thought she asked him to have a bagel with her! Personally I thought it was too darn funny, and they should have left out the "Can't have a bagel without cream cheese" line. The look of bewilderment on Liza's face was priceless! But now with Ryan visiting the fertility clinic and making donations on the sly, I think we have a possibility of Ryan fathering the child! But just who else has been making donations at the clinic for a few extra bucks?

A few stray comments... Palmer is awfully crusty these days. I love seeing him, and love that he's getting a storyline! What is old PC hiding in that room he doesn't want anyone to find out about? Is Palmer a spy? Or does he have some illegal dealings that he might be being investigated for?

The TV screen just seems to light up whenever Belinda and Adrian are together. What a match! The chemistry between them is so obvious and strong. I hope AMC runs with it! Forget Keith, the guy is too stiff. And what a snore a romance between two lawyers would be. Belinda could use a guy with an edge. Someone with excitement and intrigue, and Adrian has got it baby!!!

Last week I said it was amazing that Tim, Amanda and Harold didn't just go to the Valley Inn for the wedding night with Trevor and Janet. Lo and behold! They all showed up at the Valley Inn!! Talk about annoying! Isn't a bitch that I'm always right?!!

The Esther Watch

Sadly retired. Good bye Esther, wish you could have stayed around! I'll never forget you!!