The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998



July 7, 2003

Oh boy oh boy... AMC is turning a corner, can you feel it? OK wait... calm down. I always say that a few good shows do not improvement make, but I'm feeling more optimistic about this show than I have in, well... hell, years! They've definitely got the drama part down, and I see a return to more humor and now all they need to do is hit us with some hot romance! So let's get to it... today I'm going abbreviated because I had started and it just wasn't flowing. So I'll just hit some highlights.

Where to begin, hmmm... let's start with the MEANINGLESS DRIVEL OF THE WEEK and get it out of the way. Greenlee's whole pseudo relationship with Carlos. It went nowhere, they never clicked and thankfully it's all over now. Hell even TPTB noticed it wasn't working! The best thing to come out of it was Mary telling Carlos off. This woman clearly does not take rejection well, because right after she tried to make some time with Fusion's resident handyman and he turned her down, she said: "And you think you're going to cash in on a romance with a little rich white girl, aren't you? Well, don't fool yourself, Pancho, because Greenlee's going to end this romance the second she meets a halfway decent man who doesn't wear a t-shirt with his name on it! You're not good enough for my daughter! You were not good enough the day you were born, and you never will be!" Oh ouch Mary! You skanky little ho!

Did you ever see that episode of "Friends" when Susan Saradon plays a soap opera actress on "Days of Our Lives" and Joey's character on Days is going to be getting a brain transplant from her character? Well, in that show, she teaches Joey how to play her. One of the things she taught him was that when you're kissing someone in a scene, put your hands on their face so the camera only sees you. Guess who does this on AMC... Erica does it, and so does Edmund!

Erica was feeling some pangs of jealousy when Jack received flowers from Mary. But it wasn't just that they were from Mary, she signed them with a cute little nickname that Jack had given her a zillion years ago when they were an item.... Nibblets! Oh my, I just hope that Jack's nickname wasn't "Little Sprout!" (thanks for that one Marianne!)

Kendall, Aidan and Mia joined forces to get the dirt on Michael, using Mia as the bait. Michael is such a whore, he never even noticed that Mia was disgusted by every moment she was with him. This dude has some seriously warped sense of reality. He thought that, in business, when the term "get in bed with" another company actually meant to have sex with someone. Mikey honey, it means to do business together! The scene fast becomes the LEO duPRES MEMORIAL PASS THE HANDBAG MOMENT when it becomes clear that Kendall is actually jealous that 1) Michael came onto Mia and seems interested in her and b) that Aidan saved her from Michael's clutches by pretending they were an item and kissing her. IMO, Kendall's jealousy over any of this was an unnecessary plot device and is annoying taboot! Didn't she recently tell Boyd that she'd give them a chance at romance? I hope she does because I'm thinking a Mia/Aidan love match might be fun!

Anyway, I got ahead of myself...while Mia was in Michael's condo, she found a receipt that indicated he paid for someone to go to the Caymen Islands. It turned out that someone was Bob Barrett, the guy who Lena was supposedly in cahoots (and in bed) with on the insider trading scandal that landed her in jail. So Aidan and Kendall hightail it down to the Caymen's and kidnap unsuspecting Bob. They take him to what looks like the same little shack that he and MOHReen hid out in when they were in the Bahamas! Anyway, they intimidate the squirrely little sap enough to get him to admit that Michael set up Lena with his help. With this info, they race back to Pine Valley to give it to Jack. Jack, in turn, arrests Michael. Lena is freed and all is right with the world. For that day anyway.

Luis continues to bully Reggie into stealing supplies from the Habitat site, but Joni is on to the scam and confronts Reggie, urging him to come clean with Jack Dog. And at the hospital, it seems as though Reggie has no intention of telling Dog what is going on because he's protecting everyone he cares about... the 3 "J's" Jack, Janelle and Joni. And while he's there, Jack asks him to get a gift he bought for Erica out of his safe. The guilt starts to wear on Reggie. Jack has so much trust and faith in him and he feels like he's letting him down. But he goes, and while he's in Jack's enormous closet to get the jewelry for Erica (a big honkin diamond necklace mind you!) out of the safe, Reggie finds a gun and bullets and takes those too.

And back at the Habitat site, Reggie comes back to find Luis there ready to steal another load of stuff. But not this time. Reggie has had enough of Luis's tyranny and decides to fight back. He pulls the gun on Luis and tells him it's over... he cannot take any more stuff and cannot intimidate him anymore. Meanwhile, at the same time Joni is visiting Jack and together they put the pieces together. Reggie did not come clean with Jack and had been in Jack's safe earlier. Joni tells Jack that Reggie is protecting them by doing what Luis asks. Jack realizes that Reggie probably took the gun and races to the Habitat site, leaving Joni at the hospital and out of harms way. Jack gets there only to find his fears realized... Reggie has his gun and is holding it on Luis. An amazing scene unfolds as Reggie tries to get Jack to leave so he can square things with Luis. He tell Jack that Luis killed his brother George, he robbed Trey, left Jack for dead in the ally and robbed the Habitat site. Jack urges Reggie not to break his heart by shooting Luis. He tells Reggie how much he believes in him. As the cops come, Reggie lowers the gun and cops arrest Luis, who is spouting off about revenge the whole time he is being hauled off. Wow, it was so intense! Jack and Reggie were both so awesome and I'm giving them both PERFORMER OF THE WEEK.

Let's continue here... Reggie also gets arrested for having a loaded gun. Jack tells Reggie that he thinks of him as his son and they share a really touching father and son moment. Erica even embraces Reggie and welcomes him to the family. Oy, I'm getting verklempt! Yadda yadda yadda, Reggie decides to testify against Luis and the charges against Reggie are dropped.

Erica, seeing how much love Jack has for Reggie, almost cracks and tells him that Greenlee is his daughter. But covers her emotional tracks before Jack gets too suspicious. Too bad, because this secret could mean the end of Jack and Erica. This is huge and Erica knows it. Once Jack inevitably finds out, he will be none too please with our Miss Kane!

Which brings us to the dirt that Erica had Tad dig up on Mary. It turns out that Ms. Smythe got busy with a 17 year old French boy and was unceremoniously removed from France! She was also taken in by a gigolo who stole all her money. So Erica informs Mary that she has this dirt on her and gets her to keep quiet about Greenlee being Jack's daughter. So now Erica is holding all the cards and Mary is left scrambling because Erica will spill all to Greenlee and Jack about Mary's um, activities, if she tells either of them about Jack being Greenlee's daddy. Tsk tsk tsk.... Erica never learns!

The MOST ADORABLE SCENE OF THE WEEK had to be when young Jamie started to flirt with Mia and Simone, taking on some serious Tad the Cad tendencies. It was just too cute! And Simone and Mia both agreed that Jamie is the whole package... cute, sweet and great bod! Without sounding like a old perv, I have to say, I agree with them!

Over at Tad's, David had zapped him with a stun gun and brought him home and handcuffs him to a chair. You know, I was all for jump starting the Hayward/Martin vendetta again but this is just beyond absurd. My plan was for David and Anna to break up and eventually hook up Anna with Tad. There ya go, nice way to get that vendetta going again. Instead we got David's utter insanity blaming Tad and Joe for Leora's death. And while he has Tad handcuffed to the chair, he makes veiled threats towards Jamie... asking Tad how he would feel if he were helpless to help his son if something bad were happening to him. He leaves Tad with that thought, and still bound to the chair. Tad manages to call 911 and Anna shows up. He explains what happened, and how David is going to go after Jamie. She tells him she'll get a cop on Jamie and then races out saying she'll send someone over to free him. But instead, Liza arrives. Liza gets this weeks DIXIE COONEY MARTIN COMMEMORATIVE SLAP AWARD, for being so stupid as to leave Tad handcuffed to the chair because she feels he needs a "time out" and would be doing the women of Pine Valley a favor. Um, hello bitch... Tad just explained to you that David did this and that he's going after Jamie! It doesn't matter that Anna said there would be a cop watching out, he's Tad's son and Tad wants to make sure he's OK. How irresponsible can you be!! OMG, this whole thing made me so mad!! I'm sure she'd be thrilled to not be able to get to Colby if she were in danger!!! What a dumbass.

Back at his cabin, David is falling deeper and deeper into an abyss. He decides that he's going to drug the lemonade at the Martin's stand and wipe out all of their memories. Did he learn nothing from the Libidozone fiasco!? When he heads back to the 4th of July Fair, he's just about to pour it in the lemonade when Anna finds him and makes him stop. They head back to the cabin so they can talk this all out once and for all.

This weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK begins as David pours his drug into a big glass and considers taking it himself so he won't have to remember losing Leora. Anna begs him not to do such a thing, because it would rob her of him and because Leora should be a beautiful memory that they can cherish. But David brushes her off and tells her that he wished they never had Leora. Anna is stunned, but she ain't heard nothing yet! David tells her that Leora haunts him every minute of every day. He sees five year old Leora, and 12 year old Leora, and 15 year old Leora. Anna is stunned and tells him he needs rest. She tries to talk him off the ledge by telling him that Leora was just an innocent little baby and that he is the only one torturing himself. Anna urges him to stop using Leora to destroy them, and that they need each other now more than ever. David drops his glass and breaks down in Anna's arms. And we see five year old Leora walk out the door, presumably forever.

Well that's all today boys and girls... I didn't put any CD's in because I thought it would be short. I should have known better! Oh wait! I forgot the LINE OF THE WEEK! I had a few to pick from this week, and I have to say I absolutely laughed my ass off when, seeing that Mia's microphone was not working, Aidan came pounding on Michael's door and Michael says, "What is that!? Is that the limey??" But the actual LINE OF THE WEEK this week goes to Tad. While trying to find out what Erica's plan is to do with the information she had him dig up on Mary Smythe, he warns her about keeping secrets and says, "If they gave out Olympic medals for scheming, you and I would both be on the front of cereal boxes."

This weeks AMC gets an B+ Lots of good stuff. July 1 was the first day we saw Megan McTavish's work back as Headwriter at AMC. What I noticed immediately about that day was the return of humor. That show had a lot of it! And if you're a credits watcher like I am, you would have also noticed that Darnell Williams was the director that day. You must remember Darnell... he played Jesse Hubbard! I knew he has been active behind the scenes at AMC of late, but this is the first time I've seen his name in the credits. Now if only they can figure out a way to get him back on-screen as Jesse and not a ghost! Hey, it's a soap... stranger things have happened!


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