The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


July 27, 1998

CANTANKEROUS. That is the perfect word to describe Palmer. That man is the epitome of cranky. I just love him! I just loved seeing him this week. He's one of my all time favorites on AMC. How great that he finally has a storyline. What that storyline is, is still a mystery though. Well, the part about him being blind isn't. But what he's hiding sure is. It looks like it's artwork that he's hiding, but I sure hope there is more to it than that. Sure seems like a let down if it's just stolen artwork. I hope it's stolen from someone or somewhere famous at least. Or that he's hiding something else inside the artwork... like the Crown jewels or something. At any rate, I loved the scene in the hospital room with Opal and Palmer when she had him touch her face. It was so sweet and finally let us see that Palmer really does still love Opal.

I'm confused as to why Belinda snitched on Adrian to Palmer and Opal, and why in fact she was sneaking down the cellar stairs if she was just going there to deliver some papers to them. I understand her being suspicious of Adrian since he's obviously got a lot more going on than being a chauffeur, but to snitch like that? That was just weird. When Adrian was explaining himself to Palmer, with Opal hiding out in the room to hear, Palmer gave us this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK. Opal revealed herself and Palmer got so mad that she tricked him. He said... "An ungrateful wife and a conniving servant. First tragedy now farce!" The line itself loses something in the translation but if you saw him say this, you would have seen total drama that was priceless! There he is, lying in a hospital bed and tossing his hands up in the air and totally overacting it. I was laughing my butt off!!

Just when I thought that Adam was Pine Valley's answer to El Nino with everything that has gone wrong being his fault, Dimitri comes along. Who would have thought that the problems Erica's had with her love life would be Dimitri's fault. Not I, but that's what she told him! She may have lost both Mike and Jack and it's all Dimitri's fault. OK Erica, whatever. That scene with Erica and Dimitri in the chapel though, wow! That one scene was better than any of the scenes that Erica has had with Mike. Come on AMC!! Dimmie and Erica belong together! I'm telling you, I think by the end of this year they will be the couple to watch! But before that happens, we have more Mike Roy nonsense to deal with. The man never quits with the stupid games! He goes to Jack and tells him that he shouldn't bow out because he doesn't want to win Erica by default. Oh please! This is just disgusting. And the worst part of that is, Jack goes along with it!! Just when I think that Jack is the smart one in all this, he plays right into Mike's hands. The only good thing about it was the little exchange these two had while discussing them both continuing to pursue Erica. Mike: "Either we fight for Erica or we fall for each other and move to Key West." Jack: "I don't know how to break this to you, but you're not my type." Mike and Jack together, ala Seinfeld: "Not that there's anything wrong with that." Too funny!

The next thing we know, Erica has made her decision, she wants Jack. Why? Because Jack kissed her. Mike shows up at Erica's house and tells her how he and Jack had a talk and that they are going to continue to compete for her. Sure, she's appalled at first but she loves it and Mike knows it. Mike even says the most puzzling line of the week, "I don't want to win by deceit." HUH??? All he has done is deceive her!! Where'd he come up with that one? Well then he goes and kisses Erica and suddenly, her decision that was final, is no longer final. All it takes is a little flattery and a kiss to make Erica mush.

Go Jake!!! I was cheering for him when he was ripping into Allie. First of all, why is she always at the hospital? If I had my license revoked, I sure wouldn't be spending all my free time there! But that's besides the point. The moron (Allie I mean) goes to Adam and tells him that it's all his fault that Liza wants Jake's baby. Alrighty then, that makes sense. See, just as I was saying above. Instead of blaming everything on El Nino, the people of Pine Valley blame Adam. At any rate, Jake walks in on Allie's little chat with Adam right after he had told Liza that Allie cannot accept him being the sperm donor so he would have to bow out. But then when Jake sees this little confab, he tells her that he told Liza he couldn't be the father after all. Allie is thrilled, for about a minute. Until Jake tells her that since she went to Adam, the one person Liza doesn't want to know about any of this, he will go ahead and be the donor. Now personally I think this is a stupid move. He's doing it out of spite really, and that's not the right reasons. And Liza isn't too smart to accept when Jake won't even tell her the real reason for changing his mind. Bad move. But Jake does do one good thing, he breaks it off with that loony toon Allie. What is it with Jake and all his women going bonkers? First Emily Ann, now Allie. Allie gets this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award. First she blames Adam for Liza wanting Jake to father her baby, then she blames David for her losing her medical license. I'm glad David told her she was responsible for that. She was! She changed her transcript, not David. Duh. I'm liking David this time around. And I'm very interested in seeing how he and Liza progress. I think they could be a great couple. But now Allie and Adam are going to team up. I said a couple weeks ago that I think that Allie and Adam are going to pose as a couple at the fertility clinic and I think that that is still going to happen. Then they will try to switch Jake and Adam's sperm samples so that Adam ends up being the father. Will it work?

Dixie has really returned to Pine Valley a hardass hasn't she? She sure gave Dimitri the what for when she wanted to find out where Brooke is hiding. The way she took off her jacket and said she would stay there for as long as it takes for him to spill. She made it perfectly clear that she wasn't going to take no for an answer. All it really took was a visit from Maddie. Once Dimitri realized how terrible it is to lose a child, he spilled. I love when Dimitri shows that human side. He's got a heart and he even admitted he was wrong. Dixie made sure to give Tad the news right away and off he went. While he was flying off to the Ukraine to get Brooke and Jamie, we were treated to one of those great brother/brother scenes between Edmund and Dimitri. I love those. I have always enjoyed the relationship these two had. And Dixie was right, Edmund is a very forgiving man. He wants a brother so he was willing to look past all the horrible things Dimitri did. These scenes earned Dimitri this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK and the scene with Erica too.

Tad finds Brooke and he tells her that she is going home. He tells her that the woman he married never ran from anything. I wonder who he was talking about? Which wife never ran from anything? Dixie? Oh she ran, she ran to Pigeon Hollow when she couldn't deal with Tad's affair with Liza. Brooke? She ran away when she found out she had a tubal pregnancy and didn't want to lose her baby. He must have been talking about Dottie or Hilary. Maybe they didn't run away. Tad told Brooke how everyone in his family is involved, and how they can all go to jail if she doesn't come back. But too bad, Brooke doesn't care. She's not coming back. At that point, I was just hoping Tad would haul off and smack her one! It's all for her that the Martin's sacrificed so much! Joe could lose his career, so can Jake! She doesn't care, she's too much of a coward. Ms. Responsibility can't deal. She has to be on the run forever. URGH! She made me so mad! I know she does end up going back so I'm glad she finally sees the light. Face the consequences for your actions babe!

Adam asked Dix why a woman would want a baby with a man she doesn't love and Dixie really laid into him about how desperate he was for a child and didn't care who he hurt. It's true... he did. But then he never seems to see his own past sins does he? And he never learns from them either. That's what makes him Adam I guess. So Dixie goes to tell him that she's going back to Pigeon Hollow now that Camille is dead and the danger is over. Adam says no way. He wants Junior nearby. So why isn't he worried about Skye? He never once mentioned her, her whereabouts, and if she was safe. Well, she never was his favorite kid was she?

Ryan loves Gillian, Gillian loves Ryan. Gillian thinks Ryan loves Hayley. No one has a clue what Gillian's deal with that is. *yawn*

We got the news last week that Daniel Cosgrove (Scott Chandler) is going to be leaving the show to go to Beverly Hills, 90210. Scott is not going to be recast right away, but probably sometime. Right now though, they will just refer to Scott offscreen and he won't be seen. This makes perfect sense to me, since whenever Scott is in a scene I wonder if he's really there at all anyway.

Hey did you see that commercial for the new show Cupid on ABC? What a riot! I was laughing so hard when I saw it. While playing the song "Love Hurts" by Nazareth, they show the words.. Erica & Jeff, Erica & Phil, Erica & Tom... etc with all her husbands. Then the words come up on the screen, Too bad there wasn't a Cupid! or something like that. I thought it was so cute! I know the show has nothing to do with AMC, but it was a cute advertising gimmick for soap watchers anyway.