The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


July 24, 2000

Late, late, late. Story of my life.

Down to business. Scott must be a PR genius! Hell I'm thinking of hiring him to promote my website! In the one day since he put the site up, he's been getting hits galore and everyone recognizes Becca. Here's what happened... while on their first official date, Becca is telling Leo that she knows Tramplee pretended to be Opal to get rid of her, when suddenly a couple of rambunctious frat boys send a plate of oysters to Leo and Becca's table. Leo and Becca are visibly confused but thank the strange boys for the appetizer. Then as Leo feeds one to Becca, they start too hoot and holler. They decide to leave the watchful eyes of these unusual guys and as they go to the door, Leo kisses Becca and they again hoot and holler like they are watching WWF or something.

Later, at the community center as Becca is making soup, weird guys continually watch her and say things she doesn't understand like "give it up honey." Then, Arthur the Bookie comes up to her with an offer of $1,000 to "let Victor have it." Becca has no clue what he's talking about and tells him he's got her confused with someone else. Scott comes in and gets Arthur to go away and tries to comfort Becca. But all the while Scott is starting to think that he's doing more harm than good. So, he tells Becca that he will help her find this Victor fella and then goes to make sure that Arthur won't be bothering her again. While he's gone, she gets a plant delivered to her which I'm assuming is supposed to be a rubber tree, but looks more like a jade plant, with a condom and a note that says she should "give it up to her cyber lover" attached to it. She then, for some unknown reason, asks Brooke how you go about finding a cyber lover. Brooke is way confused and thinks Becca is looking to get cyber laid. But Becca suddenly realizes that Ryan is the guy who could help her and rushes out to go see him at the loft.

Ryan is getting ready for a meeting but he sets her up at the computer and shows her how to do a search of the web. In the meantime, Scott meets with Marian and tells her he is going to call the whole thing off because it's hurting Becca and that is not what he wanted to do. Marian talks him out of it! Ugh, this really made me mad. This whole thing is so out of character for both Marian and Scott. Marian keeps saying that this is revenge aimed at Leo for what he did to her and Stuart, but they aren't hurting Leo at all. Scott realizes that Stuart would be ashamed of him if he could see what they were doing, but this still doesn't sway Marian and she talks him into sticking it out for Becca's own good. Sure, whatever.

After Ryan tells her there is absolutely no chance for them to be a couple, Tramplee decides to continue trying so she has his apartment cleaned as a peace offering. She tells him that she understands he doesn't have any interest in her romantically, but she wants to stay a part of Ryan tells her that he asked her to be a partner and she refused, so no deal. He then asks her to return her keys to the loft. Ryan tells Tramplee that he is going to focus on being a success and that he has a meeting with Liza at Chandler Enterprises to see if he could get funding.

Cut over to Chandler Enterprises, Liza isn't there so Ryan ends up meeting with Tad. Tad is suddenly Mr. I Run This Company and all business. Ryan tries to explain his business proposition to Tad who is exuding a heck of a lot of hostility in Ryan's direction. Yes, I know that Ryan broke into Jake and Gilly's wedding and tried to stop it, but geez Tad, take a pill. So as they are talking, Tramplee comes bursting in. Before she left the loft, she took an call from some big rock star's manager and brings the message to Ryan. Tad is suddenly very impressed with the caliber of client that Ryan is getting and they decide to talk to Liza about the funding. And now, Ryan owes one to Tramplee...again.

The rock star who wanted the Incredible Dream, and who has remained nameless, wanted to be stranded on a deserted island with his girlfriend with everything they could possibly need (food, drink, solitude etc.). So as Ryan is setting it all up, Tramplee gets the brilliant idea to get herself stranded on the island with Ryan and goes to Leo with her big plan. She needs Leo to drop her off on the island but Leo is not interested and refuses to help her with her ridiculous plan. Tramplee gets all pissy and tells Leo to have a nice life, so he caves and agrees to take her to the island. Once there, Leo gets mad when Tramplee admits that Ryan said they don't have a chance and he wants to take her home. But she sweet talks him and convinces him that she should take one more shot with Ryan. So Leo leaves her on the island and she waits for Ryan to show up. I'm guessing that this is the Pine Valley deserted island that is just off the coast of the Pine Valley ocean.

Back on dry land, Leo heads over to the loft to see Becca. She's furiously searching the net for anything on Victor that she can find. But before they can really talk about anything, Leo sees that Ryan is there and asks him why he's not at the island. Ryan tells him that the rock star postponed the dream because he went into rehab, and he was getting ready for a meeting with Liza and Tad. Leo panics and realizes that Tramplee is alone on the island so he rushes out to go get her. When he gets there, he finds a scared Tramplee, but after he tells her what happened and they go to leave the island, the boat is gone because Leo didn't tie the darn thing up after he got out. So it drifted into the PV ocean.

Tad shows up at the loft to talk about their strategy and how to approach Liza for the $11 million that Ryan needs. Ryan is trying to tell Tad that the rock star postponed but Tad is not letting Ryan speak. When he finally does tell Tad what happened, Tad immediately accuses Ryan of trying con him. Ryan tries to explain everything to a still hostile Tad, and when he tells him that people gave him a chance and Ryan deserves that too, Tad started to lighten up and they decided to go ahead and pitch the proposal to Liza anyway. Tad really got on my nerves this week with all his hostility. First at Ryan, then, in a rare moment, Tad and Dixie actually had a scene together this week and he got all snippy with David too. I guess I didn't really notice it much before, but when Tad and Dixie had that 2 minute scene this week where they both talked about working late, I realized they don't have a storyline together. I can't say as I really care much though either. The less of Dixie I see the better.

Back tracking, we have Arlene Oakley at the diner in the desert. Stuart spots her and thinks she looks familiar. She has a chat with Marilyn who tells Arlene what has happened to Stuart and how he ended up at the diner. Arlene starts to spin a tale for Marilyn and tells her that she is Stuart's distant cousin. Marilyn is so thrilled to hear about this and tells Arlene what a hero she would be if she was the one to bring Stuart back home to his family. Oh, being a hero sounds mighty good to Arlene and we are treated to a fantasy she has of bringing Adam to the diner and reuniting him with Stuart. In this fantasy, Adam is so thrilled that he professes his undying love to Arlene and she just beams with happiness.

That fantasy comes to a screeching halt when Stuart goes to talk to Arlene himself and tells her that whenever he hears her voice, he has a flashback of being hit by a car. Uh oh, panic sets in as Arlene has her own flashback to the night she plowed into the side of the community center and realizes that she hit Stuart before she hit the building. Now she realizes that it's her fault that Stuart is gone and the fantasy she had becomes a nightmare as she brings Adam to the diner to reunite him with Stuart and as he's about to profess his undying love Stuart tells him that it's all her fault and that she almost killed him. Adam then leaves her at the diner and goes home with Stuart.

After he leaves Arlene, Stuart goes to asks Esther how he got hurt and lost his memory since he's having these flashbacks of getting hit by a car. Esther lies and tells Stuart that he was fixing the antenna on the roof of the trailer and fell off.

When Arlene comes back to her senses, she realizes she cannot tell Adam that Stuart is there and that Stuart cannot come back to Pine Valley. Arlene picks up on her fictional account of Stuart's life with Marilyn and tells her that the family abused him and had him institutionalized (which incidentally, is where he met Esther - nice touch) and that the best thing for him would be to stay there where no one knows him and no one can hurt him again. Arlene offers Marilyn a boatload of money to keep Stuart there and not let on that anyone in his family knows where he is. Marilyn balks at first, she wants to help Stuart and wants the choice to not go home to be his. Arlene then plays on Marilyn's needs and mentions that she has a meeting in Hollywood to get to. She then offers to get Marilyn a screen test if she'll keep Stuart a secret. Marilyn agrees and takes Arlene's money. Isn't it amazing how easily people are bought?

Then, at the bar that Adam bought and took possession of in one day, Barry arrives and they decide to work together again. Barry knows who Adam has spying for him and he wants to help him too. But when Hayley arrives, Barry heads out and Adam makes up a story about why he's there. Hayley shrugs it off and tells Adam that she is going to work for him at the bar. Adam is not at all keen on this idea and tries to get her to leave. But Arlene is so thrilled that Hayley is there and wants to be a part of their lives. In an extremely cruel move, Hayley and Mateo tell Arlene they accept her into their lives and want to start over with her. Arlene is so excited and believes every word. On the other hand, Adam looks very suspicious. Yeah yeah, I know that Arlene deserves everything she gets for all the things she's done. I'm sorry, I can't help but feel sorry for her. All she wants is to have a relationship with her daughter and she thinks that is what she got.

Let's back up to why Liza wasn't at Ryan's first meeting at Chandler Enterprises and had to meet with Tad in the first place. Hayley shows up at the Gatehouse to talk to Liza and Marian and tell her that she has decided that the only way to keep an eye on Arlene while still trying to get through to Adam is to act like she accepts Arlene and Adam's marriage. But Liza doesn't want any part of it. While they are discussing it, a gift arrives for Colby. The card says it's from Adam, but Liza knows that it's from Arlene and furiously goes to roadside bar/The Pit/Adam's Place to confront her. She really lays it on the line with Arlene not to send another gift and that Colby is off limits to her. She then makes the stupid move of offering Arlene money to leave town and never come back. Arlene is definitely not going for that when she's got the Adam Chandler gravy train on a marriage certificate and no pre-nup. Arlene, who never misses an opportunity, tells Liza once again how great her sex life is with Adam. At this point Adam enters and assures Liza that indeed he and Arlene boink like bunnies. He tells Liza he doesn't know or care about gift to Colby and then tells her he's closing up for the day and to leave and never come back.

Liza leaves in tears and has a vision of Adam boinking Arlene on top of the bar. But the reality, er, the reality on the show anyway, is Adam tearing into Arlene for being so stupid as to try and make contact with Colby and Liza. Adam is really steamed and yells at Arlene and tells her that he will kick her out on her ass if she ever does anything like that again. Then he screams for Stuart and leaves. Arlene is really getting nervous now. When Adam comes back, Arlene tries to be understanding and tells Adam that she has a good feeling about all this and knows something good will come of it. Adam walks off without a word and Arlene breaks down into tears. She's in up to her eyeballs now and there really doesn't seem to be an easy way out for her.

Edmund has decided it is now time to tell Alex that Dimitri is alive and arranges for her to meet him on beach which is where he is meeting Dim. Dimitri is not at all happy about this and tells Edmund that he doesn't want Alex to have to see him die again, and runs off to hide before Alex arrives. Once there, Alex questions Edmund again about why he told her that Charlotte kidnapped Dimitri. Edmund tells her that Dimitri was kidnapped by Charlotte and that he never walked into the ocean. He ended up being a prisoner at Bryn Wydd. Alex then jumps to the conclusion that Dimitri died in the explosion and feels guilty that she didn't try and save him and goes off to be alone. Just as Edmund is about to go after her and tell her the truth, Dim jumps out of the shadows and stops him by tackling him to the sand. He tells Edmund that he's seen Dr. Hayward and that he'll probably be dead, again, very soon.

Over at the hospital, Erica barges in on David and Dixie discussing Dimitri's illness. Of course she hasn't heard anything yet, but she does throw a nice put down Dixie's way about staying at her desk outside the office. Once Dixie leaves, Erica lets David know that she is feeling very neglected by his lack of attention. You know, I'm a little sick of Erica being such a brat. I know that's who she is, but it's so much worse lately. She's acting like a 12 year old. Good thing Dixie went back to her post because Dimitri skulked into the hospital, again, without anyone seeing him, but almost walked into David's office while Erica was in there. Dixie stopped him and hid him out until Erica left.

Dim tells David that he has decided to leave town, but David tries to talk him out of it. David cuts a deal with Dimitri that if he lets him treat him and find out whatever he can about this disease, he'll tell Edmund that Dim disappeared. Dimitri is not real eager to go along with this plan. David further explains that he doesn't know if he can help Dimitri but he wants to study his illness so that maybe someday he can help someone else with it. He tells Dimitri that he doubts he'll live, but why not give someone else a shot at living? Dimitri finally agrees to David's proposal. David calls Edmund to come to his office. Once he's there, he tells Edmund that Dimitri has left town to go and die on his own and that he'll be dead in a few days, then gives Ed a note that Dimitri left for him, urging him to not try and find him. Edmund immediately goes off to find Dimitri. Why did this not surprise me?

In the meantime, Erica meets up with Jack. He tells her that Bianca is on her way home but he's worried that her relationship with David will effect Bianca. Erica doesn't understand so Jack asks her if he is the next Mr. Erica Kane of if he's just the next in a long list of bed mates. Ouch Jack, that's pretty nervy coming from you... a former bed mate yourself! Erica is not at all pleased with what Jack is saying and takes him to task for judging her. She tells him that she and David have talked about marriage but she isn't ready. Jack doesn't believe her, which is very smart of him because since when hasn't Erica been ready to marry someone!?

Edmund heads over to Wildwind and finds Sam and Maddie sleeping in Alex's room. He wakes up the kids and hands them over to Eugenia. Way to spend time with your kids Eddie boy. Couldn't you even tuck them in yourself!

The next day, David is having a hard time making heads or tails out of Dimitri's records so he decides to take Dimitri's name off the file and show the records to Alex to get her input on the case. While they are discussing it, Alex realizes that the case is almost exactly like Dimitri's. Erica again shows up and Dixie stops her from going into David's office since he and Alex are having a meeting. Erica is not happy about this treatment but lurks near the door to the office. When she hears them mention Dimitri's name, she barges in and demands to know what they are talking about. Erica gets very angry that they won't tell her anything and accuses David of keeping secrets from her. David tries to explain patient confidentiality to Erica, again.

Later, Dr. Dixie Brothers gives David a lecture on how secrets can ruin a relationship. Uh huh... this is something she knows about all too well. She goes on to tell him that from her viewpoint, which I wouldn't have asked for but David unfortunately did, it's over between him and Erica. Meanwhile, Erica goes off to the gym, somewhere I have never seen her before, and meets up with Jack again. She is all riled up and he tells her that she had better fix whatever is wrong with her relationship with David before Bianca arrives. Erica tells Jack that she is going to try harder to be understanding about his work. I have to say, I really enjoyed the scenes with Jack and Erica this week. It's nice to see them as friends... hell it's nice to see anyone on this show have a friend! Anyway, Erica's understanding goes right out the door when she heads back over to David's office and overhears him on the phone talking to someone (in this case, Dimitri) and says he'll meet him at Wildwind. Erica immediately thinks he's talking to Alex and that he is having an affair with her.

MyAdrian goes to tell WhinySpice that he is going to Chechnya to try and find Jake. WhinySpice is really cold and pretends like she doesn't care at all.... that's called a defense mechanism folks. She doesn't want to have to worry about him never coming back from a war zone she pretends it doesn't matter. Only she doesn't pretend very well. Turns out that Grace is there and hears part of the conversation. She goes and gives MyAdrian an earful about running out on people and all that stuff. How he always has to spread his wings. How she won't let him hurt WhinySpice the way he hurt Belinda. MyAdrian does something extremely strange then and tells Grace that he loves WhinySpice and would never hurt her. Huh!? I'm sorry, but MyAdrian loves WhinySpice? Give me a break. They are so NOT suited for each other it's laughable. But anyway, MyAdrian explains to Grace where he is going and why. Grace then feels really badly for telling him off the way she did, and I'm glad too because I did not like Grace putting MyAdrian down when his intentions are so good. She realized that too and apologizes to MyAdrian. Grace urges MyAdrian to tell WhinySpice how he feels before he goes.

WhinySpice, in the meantime, is pouting and telling anyone who will listen that she could care less about MyAdrian and that *boo hoo* nobody loves me. But no sooner has her whining reached a fever pitch when MyAdrian goes to her and tells her that he has no intentions of having anything bad happen to him and that he will come back to her.

The next day, Gillian and Tad go to the community center to see WhinySpice and see if she's heard from MyAdrian yet. Hey folks, can you give the guy a chance to get there and look around!? It is a war zone ya know! Anyway, WhinySpice whines about everyone asking her about MyAdrian and stomps out of the room. Just then, Gilly faints. I have to say, I had myself a very loud groan when this happened. For more on this, you can read my thoughts here. Gilly explains that she didn't sleep well and that she had skipped breakfast that morning.

Tad tells Gilly that she shouldn't worry so much because Jake wants a life with her too much to do anything stupid. Excuse me Tad, Jake has already done many stupid things. Not the least of which was leaving Pine Valley without telling her. Tad has to leave, so Gilly stays at the center while WhinySpice tries to find her something to eat. Eliot notices that Gilly is upset and tries to get her to open up. Gilly tells him that if anything bad happens to Jake it will be her fault. UGH... and again I say, UGH!!!!!! I hate that she thinks like this! I mean come on now, it's not her fault that Jake went to a war zone! She didn't even know he was going. It's not her fault that Jake left Pine Valley either! She's not the only one who lied to him. It kills me that she has to feel so responsible for everything that has happened. Eliot senses there is more to it, so Gilly confesses that she's been seeing Ryan. Eliot tries to console her and we are treated to another Eliot clue.... he understands all too well about guilt. He tells Gilly that he's learned from his past mistakes and that she can too.

What else is left? Hmmm... oh yes, Eliot asked Brooke out to dinner. But what he was really asking her was if she was going to the potluck dinner at the community center. I think Brooke looked a little disappointed. She seemed kind of glad that he was asking her out. Oh and in there somewhere there was another Eliot clue... he has lived in Pine Valley before. For more on Eliot and what his secret is, you can go here to see my thoughts on it.

All in all, this was an extremely lackluster week on AMC and I give it a D. It was so lame in fact that I had absolutely no stand outs to give awards to. Now that's a first!