The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


July 12, 1999

I'm confused about July 4th on AMC. OK, they have these two very popular singing sensations (I admit, I never heard of either of them, but Latin music isn't something I listen to) Elvis Crespo and C-Note. Mateo even said that Elvis Crespo's last album went platinum in his introduction. So why were there about 30 people in the whole place? On the other hand, who would want to be at Hayley and Mateo's establishment on the 4th of July after their last place exploded on the 4th last year? Why were Janet and Trevor there without Amanda after they had lost her in the rubble for a bit after the explosion last year? Wouldn't this be a traumatic day for her and shouldn't they be with her? Are the fireworks in Pine Valley visible to everyone and everywhere in that city? They were set off near SOS so everyone saw them there. They were also seen by Gillian and Jake at the beach and by Erica at her house. Oh nevermind... I'm being nitpicky :)

Let's get to the good stuff... those two horny toads Belinda and Adrian. They are constantly all over each other and big with the innuendoes. I like 'em! They were staking out PC looking for clues that they could spill to the board about his dirty dealings and had a tryst on the roof of the building they were on. Later they had another hot moment in the dark room when they were developing the pictures. All this after last week's massage tryst. Wow, are these two red hot or what! I hope it develops though, these purely physical things tend to fizzle quickly. Next week Belinda has a birthday which brings a visit from Aunt Grace and a surprise gift from Adrian. I'm curious to know what the big surprise will be. I'm thinking a call from Noah or something similar.

Fine, I'll get it out of the way. The kiss and the aftermath. Gillian sees Ryan and Hayley's liplock and is so confused that she does the thing she always does when Ryan confuses her... throws herself at another man. This time the man in question is Jake. After backing off from him a few minutes before seeing Ryan with Hayley, now she is suddenly all over him and asks him to make love to her. Jake is thinking.. yeah baby! But then suddenly Gillian backs off. Jake decides to pack it in for the night because he really needs to get home and take a cold shower. But before leaving, Jake finds Ryan's wallet and figures out why Gilly suddenly went from loosey goosey to Queen of Prude Town.

Back in Hayley and Ryan's corner of the beach, they break their liplock and stare at each other like they both just turned green. They are both feeling pretty weird about their kiss and the awkward moment seems to last all week. Once they establish that they are still friends, they leave. Surprise, they both go to SOS. Hayley walks in, stares at Mateo like a wacko then walks over and starts to dance with him. Not a word is spoken. Ryan comes in, sees them and resumes cutting pineapple at the bar. A little while later, Jake shows up to return Ryan's wallet and has a few words of advice for him. Ryan gets a little unnerved about it, thinking that Jake saw him kiss Hayley, but Jake informs him that really it was Gillian who saw him. Now Ryan is more than a little unnerved. The funny part is that Jake tells Ryan to be more discreet. I wonder just how much more discreet you can be than a deserted beach!

Ryan goes to see Gilly at the hospital and finds her crying. Ryan knows he's crying because she saw him kiss Hayley, but she lies and tells him that a patient she got to know had died. They get to the heart of the matter, Gillian seeing Ryan and Hayley kiss. He tells her he understands that it hurt her and he is hurt whenever he sees her with Jake. I'm thinking that this is going along very well... Ryan is admitting that he still loves her and is jealous when he sees her with Jake. But then Gilly gets all goofy and accuses him of being in love with Hayley all along. Ryan tells her it's not true and that Gillian is the only woman he's ever loved. But Gilly being Gilly won't hear it. She breaks down crying and Ryan holds her. Of course, Jake sees this because what would this show be if others didn't eavesdrop and see things they aren't supposed to see?

Ryan tells Gillian that the kiss meant nothing, that it just happened. Gilly isn't buying that. I'm not sure I am either, I mean I saw Hayley touch Ryan's abs when they broke away. Then again, who could blame her!! Seriously, I don't think it meant as much as everyone is making it out to be, but I don't think it meant nothing either. Ryan is trying to be understanding and consoling of Gilly's feelings when suddenly she decides that his motivation is to make sure she keeps quiet. Maybe that is part of his reasoning, but Ryan does truly care about Gillian still and is still in love with her and doesn't want to see her hurt. Unfortunately Gillian jumps to her conclusion, accuses Ryan of just trying to keep her quiet and then slaps him and leaves. Ryan can't seem to do anything right these days huh?

Later when Gilly sees Jake, he wants to talk to her about something important. Turns out he's giving her the old brush off until she really knows she's over Ryan. Fat chance of that happening Jake. She's not going to get over the guy! But Gilly honey, it's just as well... he's not good enough for you! He started out consoling her and being her friend, which was all well and good. Then the more she talked about Ryan and how much she loved him, the more he seemed attracted to her. What's up with that? He's just as confused as she is and that just doesn't equal a good relationship. And then, and then, AND THEN!!! Oh, this irked me bad... Hayley runs into Gillian at the hospital and is all bubbly and friendly with her. Nice friend she is, no wonder she has none! Gilly blows her off big time, leaving Hayley standing in the hall at the hospital with her jaw on the floor wondering why her "best bud" would give her the cold shoulder. Jake happens by and picks Hayley's jaw up off the floor and explains that Gilly must have been still upset because he gave her the brush off. Yeah Jake, you just go on believing that... whatever gets ya through the night.

Later, Gilly confides in everyone's surrogate mother, Myrtle. Myrt had some nice words of advice for Gilly and then for some reason Becca shows up there. When did Myrtle and Becca meet? And while I'm on Becca for the moment, the girl is starting to get on my nerves. I didn't mind her at first but the more I'm watching her the more annoying she becomes. This giggling thing after everything she says is really rather disturbing. For instance, she's asking Gillian if she has any heartbreaks to share with her and Scott for his documentary, and then she giggles! What's up with that? And what's up with the bumpkin look? That kerchief on her head was really bizarre. She may be a little country girl from the Holler, but she sure seems a lot more worldly than that when she wants to. Get rid of the peasant blouses and the kerchief's please! Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her and I'm not calling for her outster.. yet. Anywho, back to Gilly. After this little scene with Myrt and Becca, Gilly heads to the SOS. She has a few words with Ryan and then decides to be the ho of the bar and does some steamy dancing with some insignificant schlub at the bar. Ryan bursts in and asks them if he can have a word with his wife. Schlub replies, "I didn't know you were married!" Gillian says, "I'm not. I'm a gay divorcee." Then Mr. Insignificant gets this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK when he says, "Hey, it's a free country, you swing your way and I'll swing mine." I think it's pretty cool when they give the extras a funny line.

David and Erica realized that Vanessa stole the note that Erica left for him. So, that behind them, David went into Erica's house and they talked a bit. Then David exhibited that fabulous bedside manner of his when he cleansed Erica's face. Whenever he does this I go into this trance like state and stare at my TV. David has got to be the only guy out there that can make cleaning a wound foreplay. Before he leaves, David asks Erica out to dinner and they make a date.

Janet shows up to try and convince Erica that she has to vote for Adrian as CEO of Cortlandt Electronics. This is a tough one for Erica since Palmer has bailed her out of numerous jams with Enchantment. She owes it to Palmer and she knows what it's like when someone tries to take over the company you fought so hard to build. At the board meeting, Adrian presents proof to the board that Palmer planted a virus on Stuart's computer that deleted all the gallery's records. This was a last ditch effort to sway the boards decision, but still some voted for PC. Adrian and Palmer were tied with their amount of votes, they needed Erica's vote to decide who would be CEO. She finally shows up at the meeting... mask free!! She's healed from her surgery in record time, one day! She makes a big long speech about her vote, then tells everyone that her vote is with Palmer. Opal is devastated because she thought for sure Erica would vote her way. Erica tries to explain but Opal isn't really interested. I have to say, I don't blame Erica one bit for voting how she did.

After everyone leaves, Palmer and Opal are alone and the sparring commences. Just as it's heating up, who should arrive but Vanessa. She has a few words for Opal herself and when these two start at it, it can only mean one thing... SCENE OF THE WEEK! The insults are flying all over the place and so fast that I can't keep track of them. Opal called Vanessa a gold digger and a hussy, and Palmer said something like, "takes one to know one." As Palmer comes to Vanessa's defense, I think Opal is a little surprised to find that she's even a bit jealous that Palmer is seeing someone already. Her parting shot as she throws a vase at him is, "I hope you had your shots Palmer!"

Now, on to Erica and David's date. David wants everything to be perfect, he even has orchids shipped in from Brazil for the table! And he can't stop thinking about that kiss. Uh... does anyone still think they are brother and sister?? Can I say I told you so now? Anyway, as he walks out into the lobby he sees Erica... looking ravaged, er... ravishing. And who should come slithering up to him but Leslie. She's pea green with envy that he has a date with Erica. And Erica, being the best Diva Bitch around, at first ignores her, but when Leslie makes her presence known Erica says, "Oh my Leslie! I didn't recognize you, you've done something with your hair. It looks much more feminine." Oh the zingers that Erica tosses out! Too funny! While I mention Leslie, did you all catch what Edmund said about her when Brooke was harassing him about not getting out. He asked her if she knew Leslie Coulson. He said he called her once and she's called him like three times! Now, that got me thinking. Edmund made it sound like he's not interested in her and was annoyed that she kept calling him. OK AMC, let's make Leslie a psycho stalker! She's after Edmund, she's after David. Ah, I always love a good psycho. Sounds like the perfect opportunity to me. But back to David and Erica's date. Once it actually starts, it's very awkward and they really don't know what to do with each other. They have been through so much and to have a perfect little evening... well, they are past that point. David gets paged, which turns out to be Leslie making one last ditch effort to get him away from Erica (see what I mean... psycho stalker in the makings!), he heads back to Erica and they start the evening over. He asks her to go up to his room, and by the looks of the previews for next week, they didn't go up there to drink some tea!

Tad and Dixie go to see Dr. Clador, Pine Valley's only OB/GYN. Joe and Tad are very worried about Dixie and afraid of losing her. Dixie still won't even think of that and pleads her case to both of them. She gave a very heartfelt and moving speech about how much she has always wanted Tad's child and she can't give that up. It's really impressive, and Dixie gets this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award for it. I even started to believe that she'll be OK. But then, I came back down to earth and wished she would think about the risks for a minute. I'm not saying I think she should abort, but she should THINK about what could happen, and she's not. Even Joe pleaded with her to think about it. She was sent down for another blood test with Gillian escorting her to the lab. It's now that Dixie starts to think about things and gets upset and cries. Gillian comforts her and I'm seeing the beginnings of a new friendship maybe? While Dix is getting more blood drawn, Tad asks Joe what Dixie's chances of survival are... Joe tells him 30% at the most. Now remember folks, Dixie not only just has one kidney, but she's also had heart problems, and even though she's better now, there's no telling if it could recur. So Tad decides they should talk to David. This is when Jake sticks his nose in and tells them that they should not trust anything Hayward has to say. When Dixie returns, Tad mentions to her that they should talk to David and once again Jake tries to stop them. Alright Jake, I've had just about enough of you! It's time you get the I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award! Butt out! David saved Dixie's life when she was ill and he could probably give her some good information regarding her heart and her pregnancy.

At WRCW the next day, Tad is looking up information on high risk pregnancies on the internet. When Liza comes in, he confides to her that Dixie is pregnant. Liza is so excited she actually starts scheduling play dates for Colby with Tad and Dixie's baby. Tad tells her that they aren't sure what they are going to do because Dixie is high risk. Liza gets the big "oops, I put my foot in my mouth" look and then tries to look on the bright side of things while Tad continues to see the worst because he's scared of losing Dix again.

Marian is at it again. She thinks that Scott should have more control over his money and wants Stuart and Scott to talk to Adam about getting him more flexibility with this trust fund. Scott agrees with Marian, it's time he took control over his own finances. Marian seems a bit too interested in all this money business, but really I think she just wants them all to be out from under Adam's control. She doesn't want to go to Adam every time she wants to buy something and doesn't think that Stuart or Scott should have to do that either. The only thing I can see happening from this is that Marian will get her wish and somehow Scott will lose all the money and it will be all her fault because he didn't really want control in the first place. At any rate, Marian invites Adam to dinner to talk about it. Stuart warns her that Adam doesn't like to talk about business during meals because he has an acid reflux problem! My suggestion to Adam for that one is Gaviscon... believe me, I know of what I speak! Adam is no dummy, he has Marian's number right away and he knows that she put the idea of controlling the money in Scott's empty head. Adam even says, "Marian, if I ever go into politics, I want to hire you as my spin doctor!" Good one! Oh and one final comment about this... Adam and Liza were invited to Buckingham Palace for dinner with the Queen? Yeah right.

This was not Dimitri's final week.. I repeat, THIS WAS NOT DIMITRI'S FINAL WEEK. It sure looked final, but it's not. He will be back, and he will be airing until at least early August. Dim is headed to Vadsal to take care of some mysterious problem that has arisen. I think this problem is going to have something to do with Alexandra Devane. I believe that her "shocking connection to someone in Pine Valley" is going to be with Dimitri. I don't know what the "shocking connection" part is, but the "someone in Pine Valley" part is Dim. I guess we will find out soon enough.

This week's AMC gets a C... it would have gotten a little higher if they didn't have that horrid music montage on Thursday's show. I can't tell you how much I hate those!