The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998


January 24, 2000

Well, it's a sad week. Another longtime Pine Valley favorite is gone. And I'm going to waste no time this week, and just hand out a huge colossal I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award to the writers of AMC for succeeding in coming up with the absolute worst departure of a character in history. I cannot even comprehend the meeting that resulted in Trevor's departure. Let's see if I can try to recreate it, at least this is how I see it. They're all sitting around, talking about an untimely death, or a strange disappearance, or a supposed death, or I don't know what. Then someone blurts out... Janet kills Sophie in self defense, but Trevor, who's a lawyer and a former cop realizes that justice will not be served and instead he takes the rap for her. Everyone he tells will agree with him and go along with his plan, and to insure his guilt, he skips town. Yeah that's it. He leaves his wife and kid to deal with the aftermath of his actions on their own. PERFECT! And then they all cheer.

Janet tries to tell Derek the truth, but Jack... yes Jack the lawyer, shuts her up. Jack decides that Trevor is right and that no one would ever believe that Janet killed Sophie in self defense. True, there are factors at work here that do not look good. Sophie was killed with a crowbar. Bad news.. that is Janet's weapon of choice. Sophie was Janet's former cellmate. Bad news too... Derek came to Janet to see if Sophie had gotten in touch with her, she lied and said no. But what about the physical evidence of a struggle? Janet had to have a few bumps and bruises of her own because Sophie got in a few good shots before Janet whacked her. True, Trevor was the only witness and being her husband means he's not reliable, but again...he's a lawyer and a former cop. Shouldn't that count for something? Well evidently not, because Trevor arrives back home to say goodbye to Janet. And during this time, he does something very strange. He goes into a drawer in his living room desk and takes out a big wad of money. Where on earth did that come from and why the hell didn't Janet give it to Sophie?? And with Amanda sound asleep on the sofa, Janet and Trevor share a very emotional goodbye. Given the utter crap they had to work with, Janet and Trevor get this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award. Trevor promises to come back someday, kisses Amanda on the head, and leaves Janet sobbing uncontrollably. When Amanda finally wakes up and sees her mother crying, she tries to reassure her. But then, she walks out to get the paper and sees her dad on the front page and wants to know the truth.

In the meantime, Hayley is gasping and groaning her way to a reunion with Mateo. She's in the hospital ER being treated for smoke inhalation after Super Mateo came and saved her once again. How many times has he saved her from danger now? 352? Hayley thanks her Knight for saving her life, again, and calls him her angel. And then she chokes her way through this incredibly nauseating declaration, "*gasp* I'm no one *choke* without you. You're *gasp* no one *choke* without me." Ta da! They are now back together and once again recipients of the MOST VOMIT INDUCING SCENE OF THE WEEK and I've now been placed on a suicide watch because I can't take anymore of them!!!!!

Back at Casa Dillon, Derek has arrived and tries to coerce Janet into confessing. He tells her he knows she did it and knows they can help her. Derek almost gets Janet to confess when he tells her that Hayley almost died at the warehouse in the fire, but then Janet stands her ground and tells Derek to call Jack and talk to him. Just then Hayley and Mateo show up. While Janet and Hayley are hugging, he tries to question them about what happened and why Hayley was there, but Mateo shows Derek the door instead.

Once Derek is gone, Hayley tells Janet how she knew she went to the warehouse and that she went there to help her. Hayley wants to know the truth about what happened and why Trevor is gone, but Janet isn't talking. Janet is getting panicky but she won't talk. Hayley decides she needs to lie down for a bit so she and Mateo go upstairs to her room and they decide that they will get to the bottom of this. While they are upstairs, Janet gets into a fight with Mirror Janet and Amanda catches her. She tells Janet that she knows she talks to the mirror for company. Yeah that's it.

Brooke arrives with Jamie so he and Amanda go outside to play. Brooke explains that Trevor phoned her and told her to keep an eye on Janet. So here is another smart person of Pine Valley actually going along with this idiotic plan. Hayley comes back down, Mateo leaves and Janet goes out to check on the kids. Hayley and Brooke put their heads together and decide they have to get Janet to open up. They keep asking her question after question until Janet finally cracks and tells them that it was she who killed Sophie, not Trevor. Janet starts to freak out right in front of them and talks about the woman in the mirror who won't leave her alone. Well, Hayley and Brooke try to sooth her by saying everyone has trouble facing the woman in the mirror, meaning they have trouble looking at themselves when they do something wrong, that it's hard to face their own demons. Well, that's not exactly what Janet's going through. Her demons talk back. At any rate, Janet spills her guts and we see Mirror Janet playing the invisible violin which was just too funny in a scene that was absolutely not funny.

Brooke and Hayley try to comfort and console Janet, and keep her from confessing to Derek. Now everyone, all their friends, all the people who never got a chance to say goodbye to Trevor, are helping him cover up a murder that was in self defense anyway. They talk Janet into staying quiet for Amanda's sake. EXCUSE ME? For Amanda's sake??? Trevor didn't want Amanda to grow up without a mother... what about a father!? Why is it OK for Amanda to think that Trevor killed someone and ran from the law, but not OK for her to know that her mother defended herself and her family from someone who was trying to hurt them?? After they all decide that this is for the best, they have a slumber party.

After worrying that he scared Gillian by talking about their marriage and instant family with Colby, Jake sets the stage for romance and the two make love. This kind of blew one of my theories out of the water. See, I always thought, and still do, that Ryan and Gillian will find their way back to each other. The theory was that there would only be meaningless sex with others, because anything too meaningful would make it all the more difficult for them to get back together, thus Ryan and Hayley never had sex. But now, Gilly has had sex with Jake. That I would put in the meaningful category. Although I don't believe she really loves him, it's still more meaningful than Ryan and Tramplee's romps. At any rate, Jake heads to the hospital and Gillian is paid a visit by Adam. He tries to use her to tell Jake the truth, since Liza told him that if he told Jake, he would never see her or Colby again. Gilly is no dummy though, she's on to Adam and knows exactly what he's trying to do. He did give her one thing to think about though... when Jake does find out, he's going to be devastated that she knew and never told him. Gilly tells Adam that if Jake decides to sue for custody, he would win because he's got more legal rights than Adam. You can almost see the wheels turning in Adam's head at this point.

Over at the hospital, Jake tells Ruth and Joe that he and Gilly are engaged. Ruth isn't exactly overjoyed and thinks they may be rushing into things. Ruth is convinced that Ryan is not completely out of the picture yet, and she's right. He's not. By the way, it's nice to see that they can haul out Ruth for this pretty much nothing scene, but we never got to see her on Christmas!

Meaningless drivel of the week... Edmund confronts Alex about the information Erica gave him about her spending a few years in a mental institution. Alex can't seem to remember why she was there. Rae and Edmund want to help Alex explore her past. Sheesh, what a couple of nosy busybodies! Rae asks Eddie if he's got more than friendship type feelings for Alex, Ed uncomfortably says no. Alex has another vision of Geoffrey while David is examining one of her patients. By the way, when the heck is Rae's six week AMC stint going to be over!?

Vanessa has planned some snobby dinner party with the Greenlee's. Why? I have no idea. But Snooticent plays up to David and tells him how much she is looking forward to hearing all about the Andrassy Foundation. David at first has no intentions of going to this party, but after a little chat from Palmer, he has a change of heart. He must be bored while Erica is off skiing with Bianca. He leaves us with these parting words, and LINE OF THE WEEK, "This dinner feels like a boat ride across the River Styx, but I'll give it my best shot."

The dinner party gets underway, and yes, Leo is once again wearing leather. I swear, every time I see him in those leather pants I get Braden flashbacks. *shudder* Anyway Woody is sucking down the martini's and making rather crass and inappropriate comments all over the place. Then David spices that party right up by telling everyone that Nessie killed his father and goes into the whole sordid story. Vanessa is really getting hot under the collar and finally slaps David across the face. Snooty makes some excuse to leave, but Tramplee wants to stay and watch the fun. Eventually David leaves, and I have to laugh when he says good bye to Greenlee Greenlee.

Oops, I missed something. Adam has decided that Marian is the cause of all his problems and decides to get revenge on her. That's brilliant Adam, try to ruin the life of your brother's wife and wife's mother. That will get you back in good graces with everyone. Anyway, he wants Barry to seduce her, knowing that her weakness is sex. Adam's logic is that if she cheats on Stuart, their marriage will be over. Barry refuses to be a part of this in any way. Adam's ticked, but decides he'll find someone else to do it. Over at the Valley Inn, Marian is meeting up with a client but runs smack dab into Leo. The two talk and she apologizes for spilling water on him. He's full of charm and smarm and Adam watches the whole thing. He decides that Leo is his man, and approaches him about a business offer, telling Leo to call him. Leo is intrigued and I can't help but have Tad and Marian flashbacks.

Tramplee is getting that look of love with Ryan which is exactly what Ryan doesn't want. But she has a gift for him and wants to meet him back at his place. He agrees and gives her the keys to the loft, telling her he'll meet her there soon. So she brings in this big box for him, and oops, Scott's home. She didn't realize that and gets a little snippy and tells him about the surprise party Becca is having for him. She's a real sweetheart isn't she? Well, Scott leaves and Ryan arrives. He opens his gift to find a model sailboat. Seems Ryan had once told Tramplee that he wanted to sail around the world and start over. Well, now is his chance because the model is just that... a model of the real boat she bought him. Ryan freaks out and rejects Tramplee. He doesn't want anything to do with extravagant gifts or a relationship with Tramplee. Tramplee tries to downplay the gift as no big deal, but Ryan's not buying it and dumps her. She pretends to be nonchalant about it, but she is crushed and when Ryan walks away, she starts to cry. Becca sees her and, ever the sweetie, asks her if she's OK. Tramplee lashes out at her, telling her to mind her own business and throws the model boat on the floor. Becca tells Ryan that Tramplee left and Ryan tells her what happened. Becca tells Ryan he's better than that, and tries to convince him that he's one of the good guys.

Scott's surprise party gets going and Becca immediately knows that he wasn't surprised. He tells her that he found out, and she figures out that it was Tramplee. Leo and Tramplee show up at the party and Tramplee eyes Ryan all night, who is being hit on by some chick named Mallory. But alas, Ryan isn't interested in her either. Later, Leo and Tramplee are at SOS and she comes up with a plan. She's going to play victim in hopes that Ryan will come and save her, like he did Hayley. We meet Ken the Pool Guy and Tramplee starts a flirtation with him. Little does she know that this guy is not going to be into playing her games. This could be more trouble than she bargained for.

Liza comes back to Pine Valley, divorce papers in hand and Marian is all too happy to deliver them for her while she explains to Jake why she left without a trace. She also tells Jake that she and Colby are moving out. When Liza goes to Adam's to pick up the papers, the first thing he does is pull her into a passionate kiss. She's not too pleased about that, and this weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK gets underway. The two argue about all the things Adam has done and as I'm watching it, I'm appalled that someone as smart as Adam could be that dumb. He just does not get it! He has no idea how destructive his actions are, and his mantra of "I did it for love" makes me almost as ill as watching Hayley and Mateo. No truer words have been spoken when Liza said, "Loving you turned me into a fool." Ain't it the truth sister friend! She vowed to get her life back, her independence and herself. All the while I was yelling, "You go girl!!!" Her offer to Adam in the divorce was no visitations, no contact, no gifts, absolutely no Adam in Colby's life. Well... Adam sure wasn't about to agree to that. I have to admit, that these scenes with Adam and Liza's confrontation were very compelling and interesting to watch, even though it's dragged on forever and a day. Liza realizing she had become a wimp was great, but then she actually walked into the safe room with Adam, not thinking he would ever lock her in there with him? Ahh well, she just realized she was a fool, I guess it'll take some time to break her of those bad habits.

Well... this week's AMC gets a D for the horrible Trevor ending mainly. Oh... one last thing, I seem to have given many of you the false impression that I'm pregnant. That is absolutely, without a doubt NOT TRUE, it's the show that makes me want to hurl, not morning sickness!