The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


January 24, 1999

Well well well, the evil doc isn't as evil as we thought, at least in regards to Dixie! It turns out he didn't lie to her at all. She really isn't getting better. I have to admit, I am relieved. A doctor who would lie to his patient about a life or death illness would be pretty darn low. David is already pretty low as it is, but I'm pulling for AMC to not make him irredeemable. He's too good. Anyway, the funniest part of all this is what an idiot Wooden is. Wooden goes to David and demands to be told what Dixie's condition is. Well David isn't about to tell him what Dixie's prognosis is so Wooden just jumps to his own conclusion that she is getting better. Wrong you are you young sapling! Dixie isn't getting better, at least not yet. But since Wooden assumes she is, he makes David a pretty large offer... a new cardiac wing at the hospital, all for him, on Palmer of course, if he tells Dixie she is still ill. David is no dummy, he already knows Dixie isn't getting any better so he agrees. Won't it be fun when Palmer finds out that he built a brand new wing to the hospital because David told Dixie the truth?

While I'm still on Wooden... how big of a jerk is this guy?? He believes that Dixie is getting better and that David lied to her. OK, granted David did give him the impression he was going to lie, but still. He pretends to be such a great guy, such a wonderful friend to Dixie. And yet, he will let her believe she is going to die just because Palmer is leading him around by the branch. He even helped Dixie make that very heartfelt videotape for Junior, all the while thinking that she is actually well. Wooden gets this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award for being such a low life scum. Dixie goes through with making the tape and tells Junior how much she loves him, how sorry she is she didn't tell him about her illness, and then when she's done... she breaks down crying. Who's there to pick up the pieces as she cries her eyes out? Wooden! Ugh, how does this guy sleep at night?? Does he not have a conscience?

After they wrap up production on the tape, Adam arrives home and finds them in his office with the video camera. Oh that devilish grin that pops up on his face is priceless! Adam thinks that Dixie and Wooden made a video nasty. After a lot of denying on both Dixie and Wooden's part, Wooden starts to get in Adam's face and calls him a bully. Adam responds with this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK, "Beats having your face velcroed to Palmer Cortlandt's behind." So true, so true. Nice one Adam! Dixie asks Wooden to leave so she can talk to Adam, and as they talk, it becomes obvious to Adam that something is going on, something more than a replay of the Pam and Tommy Lee video starring Dixie and Wooden. But just as it looks like she might actually tell him, Wooden yet again interrupts at the most perfect moment. So, when Dixie goes to tuck Junior in, Adam steals her tape and replaces it with another, then watches it after she leaves.

Frank arrives in Pine Valley after Opal's frantic call and they have the sweetest reunion. But even sweeter is his reunion with Tad. The two reminisce about the time that Tad and Opal lived with Frank and the fun they had. Frank's love for Tad really showed through. After the three of them talk for a bit, Tad agrees to go find Adrian. In the meantime, Frank gives Opal a letter that his wife Alice wrote to her. It was so nice, and thanked Opal for leaving Adrian with Frank. Tad decides that maybe Adrian's partner, the one and only Mike Roy, would know where Adrian would run off to. At the TV station, Tad gets the return call from Mike that he was waiting for and when he goes to pick up the phone in Liza's office, Adam is in there, using the phone to order flowers for Stuart and Marian's wedding. I did enjoy seeing these two spar as Tad tried to get the phone away from him. Tad finally gets the phone and talks to Mike Roy. Mike gives Tad the big secret info that Adrian probably went to the Boathouse to think. Oh puh-lease!! The Boathouse is like Pine Valley's Grand Central Station! Did Tad really need to get this info from Mike?? Couldn't he figure it all out on his own? Whenever anyone has to think in Pine Valley, they go to the Boathouse. Come on Tad! Even you went there to think!

OK, let's back up to Adrian arriving at the Boathouse. Who does he see, but Rine and Gillian. They are there to pick up the money that Hayley was supposed to leave them. Was it Hayley's brilliant idea to leave the money at Grand Central Station? In just that one day, Rine and Gillian went there, Adrian went there, Dixie and Braden went there and then, of course Tad went there. At any rate, the money isn't there and Rine and Gillian think Adrian is going to arrest them. He's not, he's come to "find himself." He gives them some advice instead: if you're on the lamb, do your traveling at night, you have a better chance of not being spotted. Good advice Adrian, a no brainer really. But then, lately it seems like Gillian has no brain so it's a good thing you told them.

Rine and Gillian get back to Linden and find the newspaper there with a big article about Hayley being arrested for contempt because she won't tell where Rine and Gillian are hiding. Of course, this being Pine Valley and all, there was no need for them to close the door when they got there. It's not like they are on the run and should be careful or anything right? After reading about Hayley's incarceration, Rine wants to turn himself in. He can't let Hayley take the fall for him. She's been so good to them. Gillian begs him not to do it.

At Wildwind, Raquel tells Mateo she has no choice but to use Hayley's arrest to try and get her son back. OK, before I start talking about Mateo this week, I have to preface it by saying, I hate this guy. I hate his guts so bad and this week he was as big a jerk as ever. Because of this, he has a new name. Now, I don't usually use graphic terms (and if you know me in real life, you know I'm lying! hahahaha) but I do believe that this name fits him perfectly. So, from now on (at least this week anyway) Mateo will now be known as Assholeo. Assholeo actually thinks that Raquel wouldn't use Hayley's arrest to get Max back. Wake up! Why wouldn't she? He had no problem using her trying to skip town with Max to get custody of Max in the first place. Macho boy doesn't think anyone should do anything against him, but it's ok for him to fight dirty I guess.

Adam goes to see Hayley in jail, so Hayley tries to enlist him to take the money to Rine and Gilly's drop off. Hayley honey, Daddy will do anything you want, you name it and it's done. Oh, all except for that. I can't say as I blame him though, getting caught up in that aiding and abetting thing isn't a good move. So Hayley swipes his cell phone to give Rine a call. She tells him not to turn himself in. Rine and Gilly are ever grateful to Hayley, their savior, once again. Enter Assholeo. He's back to throw his weight around, tell Hayley that her in jail is not a good thing for his custody case and blah blah blah, me me me. He spies the cell phone in her hand and grabs it from her to see the number she called. He figures out who's it is and Hayley begs him, and I'm talking major groveling begging here, not to turn them in. After all she did for him, after all the things she put up with from him, after all she blindly accepted, this is the one thing he could do for her. What does he do? He rushes right over to Linden with absolutely zero regard for what Hayley wants. And being as the door was already flapping in the breeze, he just waltzed right on in. Gilly thinks he's there with the money. See, I told you she wasn't too bright. The arguing commences and Rine gets in Assholeo's face and throws his own behavior back at him. Rine has Assholeo's number and I think that's why Assholeo doesn't like him. He has succeeded in figuring out that Assholeo is a (as Rine so eloquently put it) "macho idiot." That was beautiful. And even more beautiful was, as Assholeo is about to call Jack, Gillian conked him on the head with the champagne bottle. Oh if only she'd have killed him... oops, wake up Kath.

Back at the jail, Hayley gets a surprise visitor. Why it's none other than Miss Kitty herself. She's there to talk some sense into Hayley so she'll turn Rine in. You are barking up the wrong tree sister. Hayley is convinced that the DNA test was fixed, that Jack's out to nail someone, anyone, for this crime against his long lost little sis. Miss Kitty was not thinking clearly when she decided to go see Hayley, that's for sure. And in the end, she crawled out of there with her tail between her legs.

Gilly and Rine hide out in Stuart's fishing cabin and took the cell phone with them so they could call for help for Assholeo. For being anywhere and everywhere, Adam's cell phone gets this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award. These storylines couldn't have made it without you! Gilly gets the idea to call up Raquel and tell her where to find Assholeo, and that he had been injured. Raquel rushes to Linden and finds him. She takes him directly to, yep you guessed it, Jake's office. Not the emergency room, nope, that's too easy. So when did Jake actually become a full fledged doctor with his own office? Or do they give office's to residents now? Meanwhile, Rine and Gillian are trying to come up with a plan, and Gilly decides to go back to David and try and get money from him, but lies to Rine, telling him there's a safe at Wildwind she's going to get the money from. That girl is a few cards short of a deck.

Once again, we are back at the jail. This time it's Dimitri who came to see Hayley. She's thinking that Dim would take the money to Rine and Gilly because he had thought that Rine was innocent. Too bad that DNA test seems to have convinced him otherwise. He doesn't want to believe Rine is guilty, but DNA evidence is compelling. He will not help them run. Dim tries to convince Hayley that she should turn them in and let the system handle it. But Hayley is not budging. Just then Dim says something that still has me scratching my head. He tells Hayley that she and Assholeo should take some time off and go on a trip. Uh... time off from what??

David now has the proof he needs to bring Adam down. He got the DNA test results on Adam back and it proves that Adam is the father of Liza's baby, just as he suspected. He's now got to devise a plan to bring down Adam. He sets the stage by telling Liza that if Adam ever does something bad to her, to promise she will turn to him. When David beats around the bush about some information he has, Liza thinks he's talking about Dixie. David assures Liza he's not talking about Dixie, but she goes to Jake anyway. She talks Wonder Doc into, yet again, breaking into the hospital records to see Dixie's file. If I had a penny for every time Jake has broken into hospital records, I'd probably have about 13 cents or so. Just as they are about to take a peak, Tad shows up and tells them to mind their own business.

Tad found Adrian at the Boathouse and the two have a confrontation. Things get heated as Tad tells Adrian he got the better deal because he didn't have to get knocked around by Ray Gardner. He tells Adrian that Opal did what she thought was right and probably saved his life. Adrian understandably is confused, but he's also not seeing anyone else's side to this story but his own feelings of betrayal. He's confused and angry and Tad's help only seems to make things worse.

At Cortlandt Manor, Palmer walks in on Frank and Opal talking and is nasty to them, which is what he seems to do best these days. Belinda comes in with a copy of the Intruder and Palmer seems to take great joy in getting everyone upset. Frank threatens Palmer and Palmer just makes light of it, coming up with new and interesting headlines he can give to the Intruder. Tad arrives then with his own headline, "TV Personality throttles tycoon." And then actually bodily throws Palmer out of the house. Too bad we didn't actually get to see it happen. Just the before and after. It was still pretty cool though. At the same time, Adrian sees a copy of the Intruder sitting on a bench at the Boathouse. Seems the Boathouse has an address and gets it's own mail delivery. He arrives at Cortlandt Manor as Palmer is pounding on the door to be let back in and then kidnaps him.

The only thing left for this week is the SCENE OF THE WEEK. That was Stuart and Marian in the cabin. Stuart wants to teach Marian how to ice fish. Oh dahhling!! The only kind of fishing our Marian ever did was to fish for a man! But not anymore!