The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


January 12, 1998

Has the Crystal Ball ended yet? That was the longest New Year's Eve party in history, but I have to say, I really enjoyed it. AMC hasn't had that much happen at one event for a really long time. Let's recap... Dimitri was exposed, Janet broke it off with Trevor, Adam saw a ghost, Dimitri saw a ghost, Edmund was shot, sort of, Allie came clean, Brooke went to Adam for advice, Adam went to Hayley for advice, Belinda and Miles finally had their date, Opal danced with everyone but Palmer, Jack and Erica professed their love for each other, Gillian left town in a hurry after Dimitri threatened her life, Kelsey handcuffed herself to a trunk and realized she's got the hots for Gel Boy, Dimitri gets pinned under a tree after lightning strikes it, Tad sees his mystery woman. I'm sure I left something out, but that's a heck of a lot of stuff don't ya think? And if this is how AMC is going to be from now on, all I can say is WELCOME BACK MEGAN MCTAVISH!! This is great stuff! I'm enjoying AMC more in the past 3 weeks since Megan returned as head writer, than I have in the past couple years! And this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK was heard at the Crystal Ball. It's more of a dialogue, but Adam's second line is the best. Adam to Brooke "Don't you think this is getting to be a habit?" Brooke: "Women fending you off?" Adam: "No, your romantic adventures with disappointing men." No truer words have been spoken until a little while later when Gloria said "I'm such a jerk." Which brings us to the I NEED TO BE SLAPPED AWARD. This week, Gloria took care of that for me when she backhanded Dim right across the face! Oh that was a rewind moment if ever there was one.

While I'm still on the subject of the Crystal Ball, kind of, was it even really a New Year's Eve party? There was no countdown, there were no noisemakers or streamers and no big kiss at midnight. Aside from the great gowns and tuxedos, it seemed like a Halloween party. The magicians, all the ghosts that were running around, a stake going through Dimitri's heart...oh wait, that was tree, and the weird weather. There were leaves blowing all over and thunder and lightning. This is January in Pennsylvania? OK, I live in Ohio and just this week I was awakened in the middle of the night by a thunderstorm, but this is so rare for this time of year. It just seemed to add to the Halloween feel of the party.

So this week the big bus crash happens. As far as I can tell, none of our beloved Pine Valleyers will be involved in the crash, and Mateo isn't either. It seems like this is vehicle for the medical staff and a way to introduce Ryan into the mix. I can't for the life of me figure out why he wants to pretend he was in the crash, unless he is after pain killers. But then again, since he impresses Liza, maybe he's a reporter and he is getting the story on the crash. That could be. And from what I could tell from the previews and his appearance on Rosie during the big AMC production number, Ryan is babealicious. While we're talking about confusing characters, who is this mystery woman?? Who is Joy? I'm guessing that Joy is a dead woman from Adam and Stuart's past, since we saw her in a coffin and as a ghost. So the mystery woman is her daughter? Adam did something awful to this Joy woman (not hard to imagine is it?) and the daughter (who I pray is not another Adam child) is going to come and get revenge on him? I guess we will find out soon. In the meantime, Tad sure is smitten.

Allie's big deep dark secret is out in the open, she went to Community College instead of a big university. I guess this is fraud, but does anyone really care? I know I don't. I don't care that Jake knows, I don't care that David knows, I don't care that Allie did it. This is how I would like the story to pan out: Allie is murdered. David is the obvious choice of a killer. He goes on trial and is convicted. But just before he gets sent away for life the real killer comes to light. It's Emily Ann!!! She's come back to seek revenge on the woman who dared get close to Joey, I mean Jake. One big problem though, Joey is dead and Emily Ann never existed in the eyes of the writers. So there's one good storyline down the tubes. Too bad. I'd like to see Emily Ann return, still nutty as a fruitcake and wreak havoc on Jake's life. It sure would liven things up wouldn't it?

Jim's Central American photographer story seems to me like it's a bunch of hogwash. I guess he's probably just covering his butt. You know, this new Jim. He's just not got the sleaze factor that the old one had. I mean, I had no problem believing that the old Jim was a porn photographer, but I sure can't see it in this guy. He's too fatherly. He's too nice looking. He's just too drab. Roscoe had flare. At any rate, Brooke is going to turn the tables on Jim this week and show him his own luggage, the same luggage that contained the explosive residue. Now I know that David Forsyth is on contract with AMC as Jim until April, but I don't see him staying that long. Especially with Edmund digging into his past, and Brooke finding the luggage. February sweeps is coming up, and I have an idea. So are you ready for another Diva storyline wish (I'm fixating on murder this week)? It's time for the big whodunit murder mystery. Sweeps month is perfect, and it's February, which is soon and gives us enough time to find out all the other despicable acts Jim did. Jim is murdered. We have lots of suspects. Brooke, Edmund, Adam, Laura, Mateo (since Jim planted the explosives that killed Maria), Miles, Palmer (for ruining his latest vendetta against Adam - ok, I'm reaching with that one). It will play out great. We'll have no idea, but think that it was Laura since she is leaving the show too. Wrong, it's not Laura. Why it's LaShawna! The girl that received the scholarship a week or so ago. AMC made a very dramatic point of introducing her and letting us know that Jim took her picture too, and that she was none too pleased to see him. I'm good aren't I?

PS Besides the big AMC extravaganza on Rosie O'Donnell this week, did anyone happen to catch Laurence Lau (Greg Nelson) on Frasier this week? I did! I was shocked too! Isn't this his first acting job since leaving AMC? ;)