The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


February 9, 1998

I'm introducing a new feature of Two Scoops today. The FEATURED PERFORMER OF THE WEEK. I thought of this when I was watching this week and was thinking how great it was that AMC featured Phoebe this week. So, the Phoebster is the first recipient! How I enjoyed seeing her this week, and more than just a minute or two here and there. She was actually interacting with people, especially Brooke. It looks like Phoebe and Brooke are actually related to each other. For the longest time (before she moved) Brooke seemed like merely a tenant to Phoebe. You would never know that they were related. Now, it's obvious that they have a close relationship. Brooke is confiding in her, and seeking out her opinion. It was great! Then we saw Phoebs and Opal actually discussing their sex lives! Applause to AMC for showing that the older set is just that, older...not dead! So that brings us to another award for the fair Phoebster, the LINE OF THE WEEK. When Phoebs said, "My Langley has always been the proverbial stallion," I almost fell out of my chair laughing! YOU GO GIRL!! I would have thought that Opal would be privy to this info though, since she and Langley had an affair many years back. This is why the friendship of Phoebs and Opal took me a little by surprise, but heck, I don't care. I liked the whole thing. All they needed was Myrtle there saying how Santa really knows how to ring in the holidays if ya get my meaning *wink wink* And how about Phoebe and Edmund kicking back and downing a brewski. They've always had a close friendship and it's nice to see that they still have it. Although the Phoebster strikes me as a sherry woman all the way. I hope Eddie at least brought imported beer!

How torturous it was that we had to see Laura this week. I see that she has not learned a thing while in Boston. She's still secretive, evasive and a liar. So all those qualities combine to give Laura the I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award this week. Laura honey, get over yourself. She gets all bent out of shape when Brooke says that she's going to marry Jim. It's customary that you explain your fears Laura, instead she said the words that she made famous.."Can we talk about something else?" Her departure is more than welcomed. And speaking of Jim (who will also most likely not be around much longer) how is that he can get to NYC's seedy section of town in, what? about a minute? Why were Hayley and Mateo just hanging around there after they already turned the loan from Winona down? Oh, I guess it's was so Jim could walk in and see them, but he they wouldn't see him. And didn't he just get even more evil this week when he told O'Brien or whoever to "get rid of them." Gee Jim, your sleaze is showing, you might want to do something about that. And let's discuss this cartoonish fight that Mateo and Hayley encountered in the alley in New York that looked amazingly like Front St. How ridiculous the whole thing looked. I kept thinking we would be seeing big words like BAM, POW, BIFF pop up on the screen like the old Batman TV show. The whole thing was comical. And what the heck was that big Santa doing in that garbage can?

The Mystery Woman is now hiding in the tunnels of the Chandler Mansion... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Is it just me, or is it odd that David fell for Allie, Jake and Liza's ploy so easily? It was just too easy. David is supposed to be this really smart, slippery guy. But he fell for this plot hook, line and sinker. And it will most likely be his downfall. He's constantly eavesdropping on Allie and Jake, Jake and Liza, Liza and Allie but for some peculiar reason he never sees anyone going into the supply closet. Thank goodness for Joe this week, actually catching Jake and Allie in there. It seemed so strange that no one ever saw them sneak in, and sneak out. What's going to happen here? Well now that Stuart is in on the scheme and going to pretend to be Adam, it's all going to come to a head and the result will be that Dr. Hayward will be gone. Not soon enough, but he will be.

I was once again loving any scenes with Dimitri this week. Michael Nader is doing such a fabulous job of having little to no self worth now that his life has come crashing down. How brilliant it was of the writers to get Bianca and Dimitri together to try and help each other overcome their difficulties. It's going to (or should be anyway) a struggle for both of them. But I can see them helping one another. Erica, as much as she means well, is so far off. How does she think glamming herself up to the hilt is going to help Bianca who has no self esteem. Poor thing probably thinks, wow look how gorgeous my mom is. And what's with that title.. Creative Consultant to the President and CEO of Enchantment Cosmetics. Here's a creative idea for you Erica. SCHOOL. Bianca should be in school. She is 13 years old. She should be in seventh grade with the rest of the 13 year olds! How does working at Enchantment build self esteem. I have a dreaded feeling that this plan of Erica's is going to backfire miserably.