The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998

 

February 7, 2000

Eh, still feeling crappy, but what the heck. Believe it or not, AMC can't make me feel any worse than I already do. So let's get started. Sweeps are now underway, let's hope February sweeps has more to offer than November did.

Tramplee's little plan went horribly, horribly awry. But you know, for some reason I'm really starting to like her. Maybe it's because Rebecca Budig can actually act. This girl can pull off the over the top Greenlee persona. And well, I always enjoy the troublemakers. They are what make soaps interesting. If everyone were sweet and good, there would be no soaps. Anyway, back to the storyline. KPB (Ken the pool boy), who by the way, plays a rather good thug, has decided that he's going to get his revenge on Millicent for firing him, by raping Tramplee. The problem with thugs is, they don't have much brains because that has to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard. But KPB had just enough brains to realize that when Tramplee started to play along with him, that she was faking it. He ripped off her top and got even more rough. I know this isn't something I've uttered here very much lately, but I was really impressed. The scenes with KPB attacking Tramplee were so well done, so believable and played out so well by both actors. I feel a little disgusted at the thought of giving an almost rape scene the Scene of the Week, so instead I'm going to give Tramplee and KPB the PERFORMERS OF THE WEEK award.

While Tramplee is trying desperately to fend off KPB, Leo is frantically searching for Ryan so he can go save the Tramplee in distress. One glitch to Tramplee's plan here, Ryan is a) totally not interested and 2) nowhere to be found. Becca notices Leo's uh, what would you call it? agitation maybe? that he can't find Tramplee and he can't find Ryan. He finally tells her what is going on and they decide to save her themselves. That Becca, too sweet for her own good. First they have to find out where Tramplee went with KPB since she never showed up back at her grandparents house. So Leo has Becca flirt with KPB's big dorky friend Cody to find out. Cody, who must never have seen a girl bat her eyelashes at him, gives up the location after only one bat. Off Leo and Becca go to the Pine Cone. As they stand outside KPB's room for what seems like forever wondering what room they could be in, they finally hear a ruckus and Leo busts the door open. Becca helps Tramplee gather her shoes, shirt, coat etc and takes her out of the room. Tramplee begs Becca not to call the police and then, in the middle of winter, runs off with no shirt on, and no shoes. Meanwhile, KPB has locked the door again and is circling Leo like a lion circles his prey. See, this is where that thugs aren't too bright thing comes into play again. Leo tries to talk his way out of it, even though he's about 20 feet taller than KPB and could probably kick his ass. KPB pulls the knife on Leo and stabs him in the hand. KPB cuts and runs and Becca starts singing "Wind Beneath My Wings" and takes Leo to the hospital.

At the hospital, the ER is just too crowded for Leo to sit around in so they start to wander the halls until they find David. David, who's already agitated by a visit from the Loch Nessie, treats Leo but not without the snide remarks that David is so famous for. Nessie freaks when she sees her baby all bloody, but they send her to the ER to see if they have time to see Leo yet. Becca is still standing there singing "Heroes", so David takes Leo into a patients room to clean him up. Luckily, there was no patient in there.

In the meantime, Tramplee had somehow gotten her shirt, shoes and coat back on and is sitting in the park, alone, crying. Who should happen upon her? Ryan. The man she wants, the man she hoped would come to her rescue. He's got his own issues, which I'll get to in a sec, but he tries in a friendly way to comfort her since he can tell something is obviously wrong. But instead, he tells her that he's very sorry he led her on and that he's in love with someone else. Just the kick in the gut Tramplee needed after her night. Oh well.

The next day at the Glamorama, Leo goes to see if Becca is OK. I found this odd, since nothing happened to Becca. Becca in turn takes center stage and starts to sing "I Need a Hero" to everyone at the Glamorama. Tramplee arrived and is a bit ticked because she thinks that Becca told everyone what happened, and in typical Tramplee form, she puts Becca down and acts high and mighty. But then she realizes that Becca never said it was Tramplee that Leo saved, just "a girl in trouble." Tramplee accepts the kindness of both Opal and Becca then.

Now, back to Ryan. He decided that he needs to tell Gillian that he thinks they, er rather he, gave up on them too soon. He heads over to Wildwind to talk to her, and Gilly is already in a state of near panic because Jake had just called to tell her that the custody suit is on, and they need to get married right away. When she tells this to Ryan, he's shocked. He's the only one in this whole mess that can't believe Jake and Gillian would actually try to take a baby away from her mother. Gillian tells him that that isn't what they are doing, that they are taking Colby from Adam. To that I say... bullcookies! Nobody, not Jake, not Gillian, not Tad, not Dixie see that they are attempting to take a baby from her mother! Oh, this aggravates me so much! Jake and his sanctimonious attitude make me want to puke! He was a SPERM donor! That is what he agreed to. Now, because he doesn't approve of Adam, he thinks he can take Colby from Liza? And he thinks he's actually going to win!? When he said, "Colby is going to live with me and Gillian, you better get used to it" to Liza I wanted to reach into the TV myself and smack him upside the head! Who the hell does he think he is?? Lemme at em! I want to slap the whole lot of them!! Tad, Dixie, Gillian and especially Jake... here you go, a big collective I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award. And Dixie... I'm sure she'd feel a little differently if Adam tried to take Junior because he doesn't like Tad!

Since I got totally off the track of what I was going to talk about, let's continue with it. Liza had appealed to Tad to help her get Jake to drop the custody suit. Tad refused. Poor Liza is barely holding it together. She's trying desperately to make everyone happy, but she knows, if this suit goes through, she will have no choice but to tell the truth and Jake will lose Colby. Now hold on one cotton pickin minute here. As much as Jake's 'tude is pissing me off royally, why is it that everyone in the know thinks that he'll suddenly not care for Colby at all when he finds out he's not the real father? Does everyone think that Jake is that cold that the first year of Colby's life, where he bonded with her and his family bonded with her, will mean nothing? Why does everyone think that he'll suddenly want nothing more to do with the child if he finds out she is not his biological daughter?

Then it all becomes too real for Liza when Leslie "the sleazy attorney" Coulson serves her with papers to appear in court. She meets with Jack, who tells her that they are going to go after her and use her living situation as in, her being in the process of getting a divorce, as reason to take Colby. She needs a stable environment. Jack suggests some ammo they can use against Jake, but Liza refuses to badmouth him. It's great that she wants to take the high road, but I have a feeling, if it comes down to actually being in court (which doesn't seem likely) she'll have to say he's not the father. At any rate, she decides that it's time to tell Jake the truth, thinking it's the only way to get him to drop the case. But of course, she chickens out. Then she does the dumbest thing I have seen in a long time. She tells Adam that she's postponing the divorce and she wants his help in keeping Colby with her. Bad move.

Back to Ryan and Gilly. He tells her that the one thing he did right in his whole life was marry her and that she taught him how to love. Ryan tells Gilly that he never stopped caring about her and asks her for another chance. Ahhh... the words both Gillian and I have been longing to hear and our SCENE OF THE WEEK. And I loved how she didn't just fall into his arms, and that's that. He has to fight for her, and he should. She was so strong and stood up to him, but at the same time you could see the turmoil going on. She's waited so long for Ryan to come back to her, and now he has. But his timing sucks. She wants it, but she loves Jake. Not that smoldering kind of passionate love she has for Ryan, but a safe kind of love. And she wants him to be Colby's father too. She's torn. Jake arrives and breaks up the moment. Ryan covers by saying he came to ask her to be on Hayley's knew show, Wave. When he leaves, Jake questions Gilly about it, and asks her if she's having doubts. She says no, she wants to marry him and they seal it with a kiss.

The next day, Dixie goes to see Gillian and give her a crash course in being a Martin. They make wedding plans, Dixie welcomes her to the family and they bond, all on the UGS (ugly green sofa). Dixie even tells her about Jake when he was Joey. But of course, she left out the part about Jake being married before. Emily Ann ring any bells to anyone!? Then Dixie makes a grave error, she suggests they marry at Ruth and Joe's. Bad move, everyone knows that weddings planned to take place there never happen. Later at the engagement party, Ruth is a no show so Joe does the "welcome to the family" speech. It's a sweet party, Jake asked Tad to be his best man, and Gilly asked Alex to be her matron of honor. It would have been nice if Edmund had hauled out Sam and Maddie for the occasion, and if Adrian could have taken five minutes out of being Assholeo's shadow and attended, but that's just me being nitpicky.

Assholeo asked Waifley to marry him, she accepted, I hurled. Oh and she's another one. The middle of winter and she's sitting on a park bench with nothing on her legs. Whatever.

The next day, Waifley is suddenly brunette. I actually did see Kelly on something called "The Ainsley Harriott Show" on MLK Day when I was home from work. I liked it then, I like it now. It's got a much more natural look. Which is a laugh coming from me, if you've ever seen my hair! But anyway, Ryan had asked Waifley and Assholeo to meet him at the Valley Inn to discuss something really important. That important thing was helping him get to Gillian before she marries Jake. Assholeo doesn't seem the least bit interested and Waifley is reluctant. I guess now that everything is right in their world, no one else matters huh? Ryan pleads his case and tells them that he just wants to get Gillian alone so he can talk to her. If it doesn't work then he will leave her alone. Waifley finally agrees and calls Gilly and asks her to meet her at the Boathouse. Gilly hesitates then agrees. Last week ended with Ryan showing up to meet Gilly instead of Waifley.

Meaningless Drivel of the Week - Palmer wants David's help in getting rid of Leo, so David has a talk with Leo and suggests he go away to college. Leo laughs.

Which brings us to Adam's vendetta against Marian. You know, that Adam is really stupid for a smart guy. How does he try to win back Liza in one breath and plot to destroy her mother in the other. But he does, and he went off on her, calling her a slut and all kinds of other unsavory names. Stuart walked in and damn did he tell off Adam. It was great. But soon after, Leo arrived to meet with Adam. Adam said he had all but written him off since it was weeks ago (uh, actually it was maybe 2 days ago by PV time) when he approached him. Leo told him he did a little research first and then said something I loved! He said he knew that Alec McIntyre, who used to work for him, was in jail for attempted murder. Ahhh I could kiss Leo for bringing up one of my favorite storylines ever... Alec and Arlene! Oh that scene where Alec was pouring liquor down Arlene's throat is one I wish I had saved on tape. But alas, I didn't. Hey if anyone has that and would like to send me a copy... email me, let's talk! But I digress... Adam wants proof that he can trust Leo, since he has since found out that he is Nessie's son and Palmer's step son. He tells Leo to bring him Palmer's Y2K business projections. Off Leo goes to do Adam's bidding. At the Glamorama he plays up to Opal, telling her that the pain killers he's taking for his hand clouded his memory and he can't remember the combination to Palmer's wall safe. Opal gives it to him. Now I'm wondering, 1) why are Palmer's Y2K business projections still in a wall safe at Cortlandt Manor and b) how did Leo know they were there? Oh, and while he was in there, he found PC's will so he snagged that too.

Leo brings Adam the projections. Adam is impressed and tells him that his next assignment, one worth $100,000 to him if he does it, is to bed Marian. Leo is stunned, and tells Adam no way, he's not interested. But Adam, ever the sly one, tells him that his fingerprints are all over PC's business projection that he stole and if PC found out he took them, it would end his mother's marriage. Leo rethinks his position and agrees to help Adam, but he tells him that it's going to backfire on him. He tells him that hurting his own brother that way is wrong. Adam's not interested in Leo's attempt at making him see that he's wrong. Leo's still too green to know that Adam is never wrong. When Stuart arrives, Adam has Leo hide while he and Stuart talk. Stuart tells him that he is sorry that he blew up at Adam, but he's not sorry about what he said. He tells Adam that he hurt Marian and when she hurts, he hurts. After Stuart leaves, Leo has another attack of conscience and tells Adam it's wrong and he won't do it. Adam plays his PC card again and Leo agrees. Later we see Leo on the phone with his old buddy Paolo. He will factor into this storyline prominently. You know, it's funny. Leo sees what Adam is doing as wrong, but not his own bet with Tramplee to deflower the fair Becca. Interesting.

Once she finds out that her hospital records have been sealed by the British government, Alex decides to undergo hypnosis. She calls relationship expert, radio DJ, and hypnotist, Dr. Rae. Rae immediately goes to Alex and puts her under. Alex sees a few things, but nothing major.. even though she screams. Once she's out of it, she won't tell Rae what she saw that frightened her. Edmund the Lurker just happened to be nearby so he goes into her office and tells her that he will help her uncover her past no matter what it takes.

In the meantime, Erica has arrived back from her trip and goes to see David to tell him of the latest bit of news she found out about Alex. David is no longer surprised that Erica goes against his wishes to let him handle Alex and sits down to hear what she has to say. So, Erica tells him that she did some digging which leads to our LINE OF THE WEEK. Erica says, "I made some calls, I dropped a few names." David's reply, and this weeks LINE is "Including your own I'm sure." So Erica found out the Geoffrey/Alex connection. Alex was locked in the goony roost right after the mysterious disappearance of someone named Geoffrey Ashford. David and Erica plot what to do with their new found information and David decides to use this information to taunt Alex and push her over the edge. Oh and Erica admits she loves David, big deal, we already knew she did.

David uses the little girl Karen to get to Alex by telling her he is releasing her to her family. Alex is upset because she's sure that the girl had been traumatized into silence since she doesn't speak. You know Alex, that's a case for the social workers, not a "world renowned" neurologist. Anyway, Alex rushes to the hospital and gets a case of the loony toons when she sees David examining Karen. She asks him to leave the room and then David, who had set up a witness, subtly taunts Alex and watches as she comes unhinged. When Alex rushes off into the stairwell, David follows and continues to taunt her. Out of nowhere, Edmund appears. What is up with that? One minute he's in his living room trying not to listen to Erica's latest revelation about Alex, the next minute he's in the stairwell! He grabs David, and then Alex screams as she sees Geoffrey lying at the bottom of the stairs.

Sad, sad, sad. Janet becomes more and more unglued while Mirror Janet tells her how to feel. It's mixed emotions I guess. I love Robin Mattson and I'm thrilled to see more of her, but at the cost of her character? No. You can deny it if you must, but this is the Dillon downfall. They just keep making Janet crazier and crazier until what? They take Amanda from her and she gets committed? Hell I'm almost thinking it would have been better if they had all left together. Suddenly, Janet thinks Brooke is the enemy. She gets mad at her for bringing take out Chinese food after she had made a pot of beef stew. Whatever. And when she hears Brooke telling Amanda that her mom is having a hard time, Janet gets the wrong idea and thinks Brooke is trying to turn Amanda against her. And worse yet, Trevor called Brooke to make sure everything was OK and to see if Janet is going to see Dr. Jaffe. Now Janet thinks that Brooke is trying to steal Trevor too, since he called her and not Janet. Mirror Janet tells her that Brooke is going to get her family and she'll end up in Oak Haven. Mirror Janet is probably right. Then, when Brooke walks in while Janet is talking to Mirror Janet, she gets very concerned and brings up seeing Dr. Jaffe again. Brooke is pushing way too hard, but she continues and finally Janet agrees to see the shrink. Brooke immediately makes the appointment, but as soon as she leaves, Mirror Janet talks her out of it, so Janet cancels.

We end with Rae and Myrtle talking about finding her daughter. Myrtle tells Rae she thinks she should give it up and that she may never find her, or if she does, she may not want her in her life. Myrtle tells her she knows how that feels. Huh? How so Myrt? You have a mystery that we don't know about? Maybe Rae is her daughter after all. But when Myrtle spots Adrian at the Valley Inn, she suggests that Rae get some help from him. Adrian agrees to help cuz he's a hell of a guy.

That about does it for this week. I'll give it a C- which is probably too generous but I'm loving the Ryan and Gillian stuff.