The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


February 23, 1998

BRAVO, BRAVO!!! Our FEATURED PERFORMER OF THE WEEK was outstanding!!!! Mateo plays coma so well! His lying still in the hyberbaric chamber unconscious was award worthy I think and that's why I gave one this week. I just love him when he doesn't speak. We had an almost perfect week with him barely speaking until All My Children turned into All My Twilight Zone and made us see not one, but two Mateo's!!! Is there anything more torturous than that?? Well yes, three Mateo's would be worse. But I don't even want to think about that, it gives me chills.

Jim really went full steam ahead into the point of no return this week by pumping that carbon monoxide into Hayley and Mateo's apartment. Not that he wasn't already there. But I have to say, for being a supposedly careful and smart criminal, he's not too bright is he. Being at the scene of the crime? When he heard Edmund arrive could he not have gone out the window that was already open a crack instead of trying to play the hero to a couple that he already tried to have killed once? And how about the dopey fire marshall? Hello? The carbon monoxide only went into one apartment and you don't suspect foul play? Sure thing, no problem. Why is Edmund the only one with any brains on this show? He knew immediately that Jim was involved. He had to convince Boo Hoo Brooke. This week I go back to the person that started it all. Boo Hoo is the proud recipient of the I NEED TO BE SLAPPED AWARD this week. Can Brooke really be this stupid or is she that far into denial? Thank you Edmund for knocking some sense into that woman, I think you could have driven your point home a little better with a slap, but hey, that's just me.

So how about the murder of Jim set up this week? Did you all see it? I sure did. Edmund and Brooke both threatened his life. There's two suspects right there. When Hayley and Mateo are both awake and ok, they will know that it was Jim who tried to kill them. Two more suspects. Let's add a few more suspects into the mix. Adam, Laura, Isabella, Jamie (why not), Phoebe (she could stuff her wig in his mouth and suffocate him), Winona (the loan shark/bartender) O'Brien (the nasty super from the SRO) and my original and still pick for Jim's murderer, LaShawna. Who is LaShawna you ask? Well let me remind you. She was the girl that won some scholarship award from the Youth Center (the last time we saw Grace on the show) in a ceremony at Holidays. Jim was there to photograph it and we saw that she not only knows Jim, but that he also took some unsavory photos of her. My thinking in it being her is that AMC went out of their way to introduce this girl for seemingly no reason. They gave her a name, lines and an event and we haven't seen her since. An insignificant character to take the rap for the murder so no regular character would have to leave the show. This could also be true of Winona and O'Brien though. The only other person who could possibly be the killer would be Laura because she's leaving the show in April anyway. Most likely it will be her.

The thing that really bugged me about this whole thing with Mateo in a coma was his "visions." I really hate crap like that. Megan "Rod Serling" McTavish has really made AMC into a strange Twilight Zone episode with all the ghosts and all the strange occurrences. A ghost every now and again is kind of interesting (like when Natalie came back to help Tim, I loved that!), but just how many have we had lately? Ghosts and visions: Natalie, Hugo Marick, Joy/Mystery Woman haunting Adam (fake yes, but still a vision), coming soon Mike Roy and vision of Maria, and Mateo's glimpse into the future while in a coma. Pine Valley needs to call GhostBusters! And the glimpse into the future that Mateo got was just plan goofy. The bleeding telephone? The dumbfounded look on his face through the whole thing, oh wait, he always has that. I'm just saying all this other worldly stuff is getting to be too much.

How great was it seeing Palmer this week? How much do I just love that guy? A lot! He's the best. I don't get why he was Isabella's shoulder, but I chalk it up to him just being a super nice guy and not holding what her bigot dead husband said about Kevin against her. She needed someone and Rosa seems to be MIA so Palmer lends his support. I don't see anything coming of this other than Opal's jealousy, which is way stupid. Why would she get the wrong idea from seeing Palmer comfort Isabella when Izzy's son is laying in the hospital in a coma?? That's a bit paranoid if you ask me. I don't see an affair happening her either. Isabella is a woman of strong morals, she would never have an affair with a married man. I know she said her faith was shaky, but when Mateo comes out of it, her faith will be restored. I think Palmer was just being a nice guy, and Opal was being an idiot. This is setting the stage for Opal and Marian's cat fight this week over a piece of lingerie. Opal will want it to try and seduce her husband, Marian will want it for her seduction plan on Adam. AMC needs more Palmer and I think we will be seeing him this week with Jake's hearing in front of the board that will most likely turn into True Confessions from David. Palmer was almost the winner of the Line of the Week this week with his statement to Adam, "Adam you're a horse's ass and you always have been." He said that when Adam asked him if he came to rub his misery in his face. But someone else had a line that I had to make the winner.

The mystery woman tries to get a room at Myrtle's zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The David/Allie/Jake/Liza/Stuart fiasco is coming to a merciful end in the next couple weeks. Not any too soon for me. The most brilliant part of this whole storyline was getting Marian in the mix. Although I'm extremely confused by this whole thing with the seduction of Adam. Now everyone knows that I want Adam and Marian together, but this is just too weird. Marian thinking that Liza would be thrilled that she had an affair with Adam so she can get his money? Didn't Marian learn anything from the Liza/Tad/Marian triangle? Should she keep her mitts off the men in Liza's life? OK Marian thinks with her libido so I guess it's not too strange. See I've always known that she really wanted Adam for herself! This brings me to the winner of the LINE FO THE WEEK. It was Liza, when she was talking to Jake after Marian walked off. Liza said, "My mothers on duty. That means tears are shed, lawsuits filed and spirits broken." Oh that was too funny!! Marian is on the job. The confusing part is Stuart's willing participation in this seduction. I know he had taken a sedative but does that turn him into a sex machine? Maybe he should have taken one when he was too nervous to even hold Esther's hand! And speaking of Esther, where the heck is she?? Is she gone for good or is Stuart going to have to explain himself to her after the smoke clears? I hope she's not gone for good, she's been a favorite character of mine since her first day on the show. It was a little tiring seeing Liza and David have the same scene over and over again this week. Liza: "I need you to help me, you did it before, you can do it again." David: "I don't want any part of this, and Inever did anything to begin with." yadda yadda yadda. Then all of sudden he hands her the drug. Alrighty, whatever. Nice way to jeopardize your brilliant career Dr. David. It all comes to a head this week though. I think David will tell all about Allie. Why not? What does he have to lose? And why wouldn't he, after they bring him down he's going to want revenge. I don't think the repercussions for Allie's big crime will be all that severe though.