The Pine Valley Bulletin

Well, lots has happened since the last Editorial!! Lots indeed! So without further ado, here is my playlist for this week: 10,000 Manicas, Blind Man's Zoo; Orgy, Vapor Transmission; Foo Fighters, The Colour and the Shape; The Police, Synchronicity (in honor of the upcoming Police reunion tour and appearance on the Grammy's!); and Cheap Trick; Authorized Greatest Hits.

This Editorial reflects the shows that aired from January 29 thru February 2. It may contain spoiler for the coming weeks and it may contain speculations. It's a little hard to type while I'm enjoying my new favorite breakfast, a big plate of peanut butter and banana pancakes. Ahhh so sweet, so delicious and so lethal. YUM.

Speaking of peanut butter and banana pancakes, after a few bites of Babe's, Dixie starts to get that oh so familiar tightening in her chest. She believes it's her old heart condition acting up. We know better. The Satin Slayer has poisoned the Chandler's peanut butter knowing full well that Krystal had Winnie make them special for Babe because of the bug planted in the parlor. Considering the Satin Slayer is a slayer, I don't think he/she/it cares much if someone else got to the peanut butter first. The person is a killer after all! So Dixie is gasping for breath and Babe calls for help. She and JR start to administer CPR on Dixie while Krystal calls 911. The Slayer certainly assumed that Babe would eat the pancakes and die. Silly Slayer, you couldn't know this, but Babe suddenly has an aversion to her favorite food next to grilled cheese made with a curling iron and ketchup soup. So it's Dixie, who is just starting back at her old job at the hospital that very day, who Babe gives the pancakes to. Oops.

Through all the ruckus, Zoe, who's staying at Chandler Mansion, comes into the room carrying a box she found outside while on her walk. The box contains five gardenia's. And there you have it, five... Simone, Erin, Danielle, Babe and Kendall. Adam, who is uncharacteristically disgustingly prejudice against Zoe (I say uncharacteristically because Adam in the past has shown great understanding and compassion to people of alternative lifestyles. A scene that remains burned in my memory is one of Adam talking to his nephew Scott - then played by Shane McDermott - about being compassionate to Michael Delaney who had just come out of the closet. Scott was nervous about his friendship with Michael, and thought the other kids at school would think he was gay too. It was Adam, not Stuart, who talked to his nephew about this) attacks her, accusing her yet again of being the killer. All the while, JR is pleading with his mother to hold on and in the one moment she has to tell JR she loves him, to croak out that old standard, "you are my sunshine" to tell him to take care of Little Adam, to say anything that will stay with JR a lifetime, something that shows how much she loves him, Dixie chooses that moment to tell JR to make sure that Tad gets his child, and that Krystal is carrying Tad's baby. In the end, Dixie's final words to her son were about someone else.

As Dixie is rushed to the ER, JR and Krystal follow close behind. Adam stays and wants to have a chat with Zoe and Babe. Babe tries to get Adam to leave Zoe alone, but Adam is hellbent on blaming her. When Derek arrives, he's on the same page with Adam. He's been wanting to blame Zoe from the beginning. So much so that I wonder if he's even investigating anymore. Derek has never been known for his stellar police work. Luckily we have Tad, Ryan and Zach on the case. So while Derek and Adam accuse and question Zoe, Babe defends her and then suddenly realizes that the poison was in the pancakes and meant for her. Adam is incensed and suddenly grows back the set of balls that he lost when he married Krystal. He tells Babe that she is a curse on their family and that if Dixie dies, it's on her head. Babe, who already knows it was meant for her, can do nothing but feel guilty.

The family gathers at the hospital while the doctors work on trying to revive Dixie. Di and Del arrive. Opal is there, trying desperately to reach Palmer (just an FYI, James Mitchell was not feeling well that day and was sent home before taping). Tad is there, of course. Jamie and JR are there. Joe and Jeff work on Dixie in the ER, but Tad bursts in and urges Dixie to hang on. Pleading with her, Tad tells her how much more they have to do in this life together. He tells Dixie how much he loves her, and in a final moment, she takes off her oxygen mask and they utter their motto, "Together forever" right before Dixie flatlines. They push Tad out and try desperately to revive Dixie. Out in the waiting room, everyone has their own memories of happier times. But it's Joe's horrible task to come out to his family and tell them that Dixie has died, again. Total devastation ensues for all there. But my absolute favorite moment came when, as everyone was breaking down, Adam took Opal in his arms to comfort her. It was so strange and so wonderful to see these two come together this way. And the worst moment was when MyJoshy very callously said, "that could have been Babe!" Yes, of course it could have been but show some respect for the people in mourning! His Babe obsession has really gotten so out of hand and creepy.

One by one, the family comes in to say good bye to Dixie. And again it's Opal who touches me the most when she leans down and kisses Dixie on the forehead, saying, "Say hey to my Jenny." Now that's where I misted up. It's a beautiful nod to the history of the show that is sometimes forgotten. It's moments like that this this long time viewer cherishes. Too bad Dixie won't run into Jenny in the afterlife. I think they are in very different places.

When JR and Jamie are the only ones left in the room, Ghost Dixie (no, I'm not calling her Angel Dixie because Dixie is about as far from an angel as one can get!) tries to reach out and be a comfort to the boys. Realizing Tad isn't there, the ghost of Dixie goes looking for him and finds him in the park with Julia and Kathy. Immediately she realizes that the child is actually Kate. She blows the child a kiss and disappears.

It's no secret that I am not a Dixie fan. And from this latest return I can honestly say I went from simply disliking Dixie to outright hatred of her. True, I liked her well enough in the beginning. The Tad/Dixie love story was full of romance and promise in the early days. But then Cady McClain decided to leave, which is her prerogative. I begrudge no actor or actress the opportunity to spread their wings. It's important to see for yourself what is out there, and where you want to be in life. But then she returned and she left again, then she returned and she left again, then she returned. To me, it's pointless to get invested in a character whose portrayer could up and leave again when the mood strikes. So I chose not to be invested in Dixie at all, and in the long run, I'm happier for it. Because I could actually care less that she is killed off. And I'm glad that it seems like it's the final time it will happen. Whether it is or not, time will tell. We soap fans all know that dead is never really dead on soaps. There's always a way to bring someone back if the show wants it bad enough. This is one person's view. In the big scheme it means nothing. So if, as a Dixie fan, this view makes you angry, that is not my intention. I have never hid my true viewpoint just to appease a fan base. Just ask the Mateo fans! LOL

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Babe arrives and tries to comfort JR. But she has to tell him that Dixie died by eating the poison pancakes meant for her. Yikes. I don't envy Babe. But after she tells him, JR has a moment where he realizes that he loves Babe and could have lost her. He realizes for about five minutes that life is too short to be so anger and hate filled. Adam, who somehow still believes that Zoe is the culprit and that Babe is an accomplice because she brought Zoe into the house, is less than thrilled to see the love between JR and Babe. But an emotional JR tells Adam to back off and leave his wife alone. You could almost see Adam's balls shrivel back up as he backs down. It's not a pleasant sight.

JR is now struggling with the knowledge that Krystal is carrying Tad's baby. It's interesting to me that he is having even a moment of struggle with this knowledge. JR has been on the receiving end of having a child kept from him. He had a very difficult time getting over that. So now he is in a position where he could be doing the very same thing. It should be a no brainer. He knows what it feels like, could he really ever want anyone to have to feel the way he did? Hmm... well, he is JR. And in order for him to not want anyone to feel how he felt, he'd actually have to have feelings. Add to that, the fact that Adam has made it clear that there is no way in hell he would ever forgive Krystal for cheating the way JR has supposedly forgiven Babe.

It's about time for JR's five minutes of love and understanding of Babe to end. When they are alone, he confides to her that Dixie told him that Krystal is carrying Tad's child and he doesn't know what to do. JR realizes pretty quickly that Babe already knew about the baby and gets angry (shocking I know) with Babe for lying to him. Babe explains to JR what happened between Krystal and Tad and JR's ire is directed strictly at Krystal. He seems to put no blame on Tad for sleeping with his father's wife. Hey JR, last time I checked it takes two. But no matter how much Babe tries to tell JR that Krystal was merely comforting Tad in his time of need... oh my, even I'm not buying that one Babe, JR can't help but be the asshole he is and spout off about Babe's faithless mother, and how someone should tell her that comfort doesn't mean rocking the mattress. Again I have to wonder, in JR's eyes, where is Tad's responsibility? Devastated or not, if I recall correctly, it was Tad who made the move on Krystal, not the other way around. And Babe, true to form and never learning from past mistakes begs JR not to tell the truth. Oy. And another thing Babe, why aren't you putting some of the blame on Tad for the horizontal hula and letting Krystal take the brunt of the blame from JR??

At the police station, Kendall is freaked when she sees her portrait with a dart in the neck. Oh yes, it's a message alright. Kendall is next! Zach is devastated to learn about Dixie's death and feels responsible and knows he has to find out what the killer has against him before he loses Kendall too. Kendall refuses to leave Zach's side and Zach refuses to let her out of his sight so together they head back to the storage unit and look for more clues or anything that can jolt a memory for Zach. Zach suddenly remembers that his mother was planning on leaving Alexander and that she was taking him and Michael with her. Tad arrives at the warehouse and informs Zach and Kendall that he found a bug at Chandler Mansion and that Jamie and Aidan found one at FUSION. Kendall decides that she should serve herself up as bait for the killer. They head back to FUSION to make the arrangements so the killer can listen in and hopefully fall for the ploy. They decide to hold a benefit fundraiser at Zach and Kendall's new house for the newly created Amelia Cambias Foundation. We see the killer listening in and all we can see are gloved hands and a brick wall that looks an awful lot like Jack's loft or perhaps another apartment in the building. Or maybe it's a warehouse. Who knows!

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It strikes me suddenly that Maggie's return has been completely and utterly pointless. Sure, she was worried about Bianca because the FUSION women are dying off one by one. But how could her presence prevent that from happening? She basically came in with this attitude of expected forgiveness and has done nothing to make up for her infidelity or for walking out on Bianca and Miranda. Oh I'm sorry, that's enough? No, it's not Maggie. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Bianca is far too good for wishy washy Maggie. And then her scene with Jonathan was a joke. I had such high hopes for that scene. I wanted to see Jonathan's heartfelt apology. I wanted to see Maggie, while still apprehensive and scared of him, realize that he is truly trying to make amends and possibly get past their abusive relationship. I wanted to see Maggie admit to Jonathan that he was right, that she was interested in Bianca even though she continually denied it to him. Then again, maybe it was Jonathan's abuse that sent Maggie into Bianca's arms. Hmmm. Anyway, instead we got Jonathan restrained by Bianca's bodyguard and Maggie cowering. No closure there. No moving on. No progression. Then we get this big confrontation between Maggie and Zoe. Lame! Wasn't it supposed to be Maggie getting in Zoe's face about being in Bianca's life? I didn't see that. What I saw was Zoe wondering how on earth Maggie could throw away the love of someone as wonderful as Bianca. Why was she brought back? So we could see that Bianca's moving on? Will there be real closure for them or is AMC going to dangle a Bianca and Maggie reunion for the future? Whatever happens I won't be sorry to see her head back to Paris with her tail between her legs. Run along Maggie your female experiement is over, there's plenty of penis waiting for you in Paris. You know that's what you really want. Stop pretending!!! I do have a favorite Maggie moment though. It was when she confronts Bianca about Zoe and tells Bianca that she's just looking out for her and afraid she'll get her heart stomped on. Bianca answers with this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK when she says, "You weren't worried about my great big heart when you were the one doing the stomping." Go Binks!!!!

Ryan has the enormous task of breaking the news to Annie that he is in fact Emma's father. He tried to feel her out about how she would feel about knowing who Emma's father is, but Annie isn't real receptive. She is concerned that knowing who the father is might send her back into the place of defending herself, fighting for her daughter and proving again that she is Emma's mother and she wants no part of that. But Ryan knows he would never try to take Emma from her so he throws caution to the wind and tells Annie that he is Emma's father. Annie is confused and thinks Ryan is just saying that because Emma has wished for Ryan to be her father. But Ryan explains to her how it all went down and how there was a DNA test to prove it. Annie is shocked to find out that Kendall has known this and has kept it from them. Well, shocked isn't the right word. This is Kendall we're talking about after all. She's pissed at the typical Kendall like behavior. Annie tells Ryan that this doesn't have to change anything but Ryan tells her it changes everything. He wants to be Emma's father, but it's up to her how they proceed with it, if they do at all. I have to say, Ryan and Annie's slow build towards romance has been a real treat to watch. It hasn't been forced or crammed down our throats. I think this gives the couple a lot more rooting factor. I want Ryan and Annie to get together. I want to see them fall in love. And I want to see them as a family.

This weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK happens when Annie goes out to run an errand. Rachel brings Emma back to the penthouse because she has a belly ache. Ryan is left to his own devices to help the little girl through it all. He soon finds out with the help of a teddy bear named Dr. Feelbetter, that a mean little boy was making fun of Emma. Poor little thing, who could ever make fun of that adorable child!? Anyway, Ryan and Dr. Feelbetter decide that the best way to cure Emma is with some ice cream. Now, if this were a real belly ache and not just a fake one to get away from the mean little boy, I would say Ryan needs to brush up on his parenting skills before he takes on being dad to another child. But since she was just sad, not really sick, I'll let it slide this time! And besides that, Ryan and Emma are so cute when they have scenes together!

Meanwhile, Annie's errand turned out to be confronting Kendall. Oh oh, this is going to be good! Annie gets right to the point and tells Kendall that she has to make everything all about herself. Kendall tries to act all nonchalant and play the anonymous donor card, but we all know that Kendall didn't tell Ryan or Annie for her own selfish reasons. For some inexplicable reason Kendall is under the delusion that somehow Spike will suffer if Ryan has another child. Kendall's issues run so deep it's boggling she can even function in the world. She is not an only child. She didn't seem to have this problem when she found out that Josh was her brother. Did she throw a hissy at Erica and think she wouldn't love her anymore because she suddenly has another child? NO. OMG, she's such a loon sometimes! And Annie was dead on when she told Kendall that Kendall's concern is that Ryan is moving on and not pining for her. You go Annie!!! Annie gets this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award for holding her own with Kendall.

Bianca is shocked to find out that Kendall has known about Ryan being Emma's father and did nothing. Bianca calls her out on how, knowing all Bianca has been through, she can keep a child from their parent. Damn right! Kendall keeps denying that it had anything at all to do with her, but had everything to do with the anonymity of the procedure. Tsk tsk Kendall. Things take a serious turn when Kendall asks Bianca if she will be Spike's guardian if anything should happen to her. She knows she's offering herself up as bait and wants Bianca to promise to take care of Spike. Bianca is reluctant to agree and reminds her that Spike has a father. Kendall doesn't want Annie raising her son so she refuses to consider letting Ryan have him. OMG, she's insane. What on earth does she have against Annie? Annie has never done a thing to her. All it is, is that Ryan is interested in Annie. That's it. For shame Kendall!!! You get this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award. You have a husband who loves you, stop trying to keep Ryan on a string. It's really unbecoming.

At the funeral home, Ryan has a sweet scene where he comforts a very devastated Di (that's for you Tara, I had to mention Di in here somewhere! lol). She gives the funeral director Dixie's mother's bible and asks that he put it with her. Once Di leaves, the funeral director comes back and hands Ryan a letter that was delivered for him. It says, in cut out letters: "Stay away from Slater. He killed your sister. He'll kill the mother of your child." Hmmm... so the killer knew Ryan was at the funeral home. Who could it be?? I know... I got it, this is it. The killer is the Funeral Director himself! Seems it's been a long time since anyone died in Pine Valley so the Funeral Director took it upon himself to start killing people off to drum up some business. The Zach connection? There isn't one, he just found out a tidbit about Zach and ran with it to throw everyone off!! I'm right, I know I am. OK, I'm not. I couldn't be more wrong. But this guess is as good as any other I've come up with. I can't for the life of me figure out who the killer might be. My first thought was Del. I so badly wanted it to be Del. The dude is pointless. He has no story and he was looking for something to base a novel on. But nah, it's not Del. Then I thought it was Rachel, Spike's nanny. Could she have a secret past we don't know about? You know AMC loves the surprise child or sibling. Could she somehow be related to Zach? She could be. And with the inside track on what Kendall and Zach are always doing, it makes her a likely suspect. I'm kind of holding onto that one still. I don't think it's Di. I don't think it's Janet. I don't think it's Amanda. I don't think it's Kenny Adler. One thing I'm sure of, it's not obvious and that is something I love and have to give AMC kudos for. For once they aren't beating us over the head with the details. In days gone by when there was a big mystery, they made it so easy that I often expected to see the culprit holding a sign that says, "I'm the killer."

Tad heads over to the Chandler's to try and get Babe to attend the benefit party at Zach and Kendall's. Krystal is angry and doesn't want Babe to go. She tries to get Tad out before Babe hears him, but it's too late. She and JR do hear Tad and go to see what the commotion is about. Babe is more than willing to go to the party if it means catching the killer. JR agrees to go with her too. And when they arrive, the party is in full swing. Even Palmer and Opal are there. Kendall explains that the party is not only a benefit for the newly formed Amelia Cambias foundation, but it's also a way to come together and honor the people they have lost. It doesn't matter that it's only a day after Dixie died. Then again, I had a party the day Dixie died too.

Zach explains why they are really there and they have to work together to catch this killer. Feisty old Palmer can't wait to get his hands on the man who killed his niece, but Joe tells him to stand in line! Oh yeah, Joe, Opal, Palmer... all in the same room! It's a sight to see. The only one missing is Ruth. Poor Ruth, doesn't know her step son Jeff is in town. Doesn't know she has a new grandson in Josh. Now she doesn't know that Dixie is dead again.

Josh goes bonkers on JR when he sees that he has brought Babe to the party. Down Joshy, down boy. You are really getting goofy. Babe tells him to back the hell off already and leave her alone. But once she is alone after sending Bob the bodyguard off to get her a drink, Josh grabs Babe and drags her outside, berating her for coming to the party where she could possibly be killed. Um, Josh... Babe has to be there so the killer could know she's still walking this earth and therefore still a target. And then MyJoshy brings up a very good point. He wonders if JR would use this opportunity to kill her, so it looks like the Satin Slayer did it. You know MyJoshy, you're the only one who thought of this possibility and I have to give you props for that, because hell yes that is something JR would do! But Babe is shocked, chagrined and mortified that Joshy could think such a thing of her beloved. Not JR. He'd never try to kill her.... not again anyway right Babe? Babe tells Josh, yet again, that she is over him, that she loves her husband and family and to leave her alone. Josh finally seems to get it. It really looks like it has finally sunk into his thick skull. So he tells her he gets it and as he leans in for this 5,000th last kiss with Babe, it is that part that JR and Jamie see when they come out looking for Babe. They see the kiss. They don't hear Babe berating him. They don't hear her telling him they are over and to leave her alone. They see that kiss. Fasten your seatbelts folks, Round 357 of JR vs Babe is yet to come.

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This weeks AMC is about a C. It's not great, it's better than the worst though.