The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998


December 13, 2004

There isn't a moment to waste today. The show is moving along at a pace that makes me excited to watch it again! So since we're so close to Christmas, I'm putting in some of my fave Christmas cd's in my trusty five cd changer boom box. We start with The Brian Setzer Orchestra and "Boogie Woogie Christmas," followed by Rudolph, Frosty and Friends Favorite Christmas Songs, then Trans-Siberian Orchestra "Christmas Eve and Other Stories," then The Vince Guaraldi Trio "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and ending up with a band that some friends of mine put together called Missile Toe, with "Down on a Thistle" (it's Christmas tunes all punked up).

This Editorial reflects the week from December 6 thru 10. We pick up the action with Tad tied to a bed in a motel room. Put there by his ungrateful and foolish son Jamie, after knocking him out. Jamie is kind of on my last nerve lately. All Tad has ever done is try to help and protect him. What does he get in return? Punched out and tied to a bed! Why I outta smack Jamie right now! Eh, I'm sure someone else will be more deserving as we discuss the weeks events though. Anyway, David went to the hotel room to what... keep Tad company? Make sure he doesn't escape? Have a secret rendezvous? Ever get the impression that Tad and David are secretly in love? Things really started to get suspicious when David climbed on top of Tad to make sure he stayed bound. Hmm. And David has successfully come between Tad and Krystal but was it Krystal he was after, or Tad? Hmm. I'll be watching this situation ;)

In the room, David reveals to Tad that Babe is going to tell Bianca the truth about Miranda. But Tad keeps trying to reason with David, he wants to get freed so that he can help. David isn't interested letting Tad up off the bed (hmm), and instead delivers this weeks LINES OF THE WEEK, when in response he says, "You know something? You're such a moron. You're such an idiot. You have to prove to everybody that you're so smart, but yet you always tip your hand. Thanks for the heads-up, Tad. Now I know I've got to tie your feet. Hopefully, it'll cut off the circulation. I'll have to amputate."


Before I get to the big story, lets cover the smaller stuff first. And the first thing up Aidan asking out Whinita. I defy you to tell me one person who cares about this! And while we're barfing, Bobby is blackmailing someone and went to pick up his cash when he spotted Whinita and Aidan at the boathouse on their date. Gee Aidan, couldn't you even spring for a nice dinner? Bobby gets pissy with them, yadda yadda yadda, Aidan finds the cash, yadda yadda yadda, Whinita gets concerned that Bobby is doing something illegal. Blech.

Greenlee's wiggin. She's off her nut, a few cards short of a deck, the lights are on but no one's home, a taco short of a combo plate, a sandwich short of a picnic, nutty as a fruitcake, bonkers, cracked, loco, batty, kooky, a few fries short of a happy meal... you get the idea. She's nutso! She's restrained to her bed in the psycho ward at the hospital and believes that Ryan is dead. Maria is baffled and believes, since they know she's been drugged, that she should have normalized by now. Is that even a word? I guess it must be since Maria, the neurologist, keeps using it. Maria believes that if Ryan goes to see her while she still believes he's dead, she may be driven even more insane than she already is. OK, so my question to that is, why can't Jack go see her? The subject never even comes up. I'm puzzled by it. Jack just has to sit in the waiting room while everyone runs around trying to get Ryan permission to see Greenlee. Weird.

And while Maria is trying to get that permission, Greenlee is alone in her room having a conversation with death. Uh huh... death. She has decided to make a deal with death and trade places with Ryan. So if she dies and Ryan gets to live. And wouldn't you know, right after she makes this deal, the OK comes through and Ryan walks into her room. So Greenlee believes she has brought Ryan back from the dead and now she has to die. Does bonkers just about cover it? Ryan tries hard to break through to Greenlee and tell her that he's very much alive and always been and she doesn't have to die in his place. Once she finally gets that, she tells him to leave. Now she's got the "he shouldn't be saddled with a nutso wife" complex going. He finally convinces her that there is nothing wrong with her and that she's been drugged. Ryan takes off the restraints and they are once again happy and stable. I'm wondering why I had to sit through this nonsense when Babe was about tell Bianca that Bess is really Miranda!!! Love ya Ryan, love ya Greens, but get out of the way!

JR is performing at the Miranda Montgomery Benefit and looks very much like a wannabe rock star. You know what baffled me about this? It was the screaming fans. Now granted, I know it was filmed at SSW and that it was truly fans of Jacob Young screaming, but it was supposed to fit into the storyline, so how is it that these benefit attendees in Florida ever heard of JR Chandler from Pine Valley, PA who never sang in public before? And they not only heard of him, but screamed at him like he was long lost Beatle!? Very odd indeed. Anyway, soon enough his concentration was broken by a rose that is thrown at him on stage. When he picked it up, who did he see in the audience holding another rose? Babe. JR jumps off stage and runs after Babe. But he can't get to her. Why? Because he's mobbed by the same adoring fans. Please, I can suspend my disbelief only so far. This was absurd!


Getting away before JR can catch her, Babe meets up with Jamie again and tells him that JR saw her and they need to set their plan in motion. She will lure JR to a warehouse where Jamie will hold him captive while she tells Bianca the truth. The theory is that this will keep JR from interrupting them so she can say all she has to say to Bianca. Jamie doesn't think it's a good idea (that slap is starting to look better for him), and tries to tell her to phone Bianca instead. Babe tells Jamie that she has to tell her face to face and take the consequences. She has to see Bianca's face, and Bianca has to see hers. She's right and Jamie's a dufus. Bianca deserves to be told in person.

Fearing that Babe is there to kidnap Bess (can you say denial?), JR goes back to the hotel room and urges Kendall not to leave Bianca alone in the room with the baby. He thinks that Bianca is going to help Babe. Kendall agrees. Just then JR gets a call from Babe, which he takes out in the hallway. Babe tells him that she and Jamie have been robbed and that they need more money to stay away. She tells him where to meet them and to bring the money and he'll never see them again. And if JR wasn't sure that Babe was really telling the truth in her letter (although I think he was), when she didn't ask how Bess was doing, that should have been a big clue. Babe never mentioned her at all, causing JR to ask her if she even cared how Bess was. She blew off the question. JR is in some deep denial here. He knew it was true from the moment he read her letter. But that's besides the point. He goes to meet Babe at the designated warehouse and she lures him inside so they could conduct their deal. But as soon as he's inside, Babe ducks out and barricades the door behind her so JR cannot get out.

Babe races to the hotel room where Bianca is with Miranda and Kendall. Babe assures Kendall that she is not there to kidnap the baby and it would be better if she left. Kendall doesn't believe her, but Bianca plays the sister card and asks her who she is going to side with, her or JR? Having no choice, Kendall leaves. Where she went, I have no idea. If she was so worried about Babe kidnapping the baby, she should have just camped out outside the door, but she clearly didn't do that. Babe prepares to tell Bianca the truth.

Over in the warehouse, JR is very hot under the collar (what else is new, this dude eats anger for breakfast) and wants to get out before Babe can snatch Bess. But Jamie tells him that Babe is telling Bianca the truth, that Bess is really her daughter Miranda. JR refuses to believe it, and instead spouts off things like "Bess is MY child. MINE!!!!" and "... my child is my child is my child, period." Possessive much JR?

And back at the hotel room, Babe is telling Bianca that the child she loves as her Goddaughter is really her daughter Miranda. But knowing that Tad and Joe had a DNA test done, Bianca refuses to believe it. Babe tells her the DNA test was fixed, but Bianca keeps telling Babe to stop trying to hurt her before it's too late. She urges Babe to let go of her anger at JR. But Babe is getting frustrated. She's telling Bianca what she's been wanting to tell her for months, and Bianca isn't letting it sink in. Babe realizes she has to start at the beginning. She starts by going back to the cabin when Bianca went into labor. Bianca knows this story, or so she thinks. But Babe starts filling in some of the blanks, telling her that Paul crashed the helicopter on purpose, that he drugged her and took her baby, her son. But when Adam and JR arrived on the scene and got in Paul's face, he chose his own hyde over hurting Babe more and gave JR Bianca's baby. He then told Kendall that Bianca's baby died in the crash. Babe goes on to say that no one knew at first, only Paul and Bianca herself. When she came into the nursery and took the baby, she knew, but everyone else convinced her she wasn't thinking straight. Bianca is still not believing it.

Getting frustrated, Babe continues with the story. She tells Bianca how she followed Krystal to the crash site and figured it all out. And it was then that she made her decision. She couldn't take the baby JR loved from him so she chose JR over Bianca. She kept the baby so that she wouldn't hurt JR. If she had known then that JR hated her and was faking everything, it never would have happened, but she loved JR too much. Bianca is starting to come around, I think. She realizes that the day of Babe's wedding to JR, she was sad and crying all day, not happy as she should have been. Babe reminds her that on that day, she called Bianca Mama, and it wasn't because she was her Godmother. Bianca, still in disbelief doesn't believe Babe would be capable of keeping her daughter from her.

Babe continues that the night at the casino changed everything. She knew then that JR didn't love her and had to tell her the truth. Babe tells her that delays just kept happening. That night that they set JR up, JR took the baby and hid her away. But it was the day that the baby was found that she found out her own son was alive. She tells Bianca that Paul took her son and gave him to his sister Kelly. She explains that Kelly Buchanan is Paul's sister. Bianca realizes Babe is the one who kidnapped Ace and starts to believe that Babe has gone crazy. Babe tells her to ask Krystal or David if she doesn't believe her, and that they will back her up. This is the first time Bianca hears David's name in all this and it's a bit of shock. Babe has DNA proof that Ace is her son. She hands Bianca a picture of the four of them, Bianca and Miranda and Babe and James in the park. As Bianca stares at the picture, it starts to sink in and she starts to put it all together. As she starts to remember things, things Babe has said and done, Babe takes her by the hand and over to Miranda's crib. She tells Bianca to let it sink in, to let it come, to believe it. Can you actually see the light go on Bianca's head? Bianca finally realizes her much loved daughter Miranda is in the crib right in front of her.

With it all finally sinking in, all the Babe love drains out of Bianca as she turns to her and asks the question that must have been so difficult for these best friends... "You kept her from me?" Babe, knowing she has no excuse can only answer her in the most truthful way, "yes." With that one word, a friendship dissolved and a rage exploded as Bianca slapped Babe across the face. Let me tell you, that was no wussy slap! That was a wallop!! It was nothing less than Babe deserved either. Bianca unleashes a torrent of rage on Babe, and all Babe can do is take it. She has no escape, no excuse and no one to save her. Bianca can't believe that anyone, let alone someone who said they loved her, could be so cruel. She describes her pain at losing Miranda is such moving and painful detail. She tells Babe about all the nightmares she had, the ones she never told anyone about. The nightmares of trying to save her baby from the water, almost reaching her but just missing and waking up to relive the horror of losing her all over again. And then the dreams that she was alive, the dreams being worse still because she had to awake from this wonderful place, and back to the horror of her daughter being dead. Bianca is ripping my heart out and there is just no other PERFORMER OF THE WEEK this week, although Babe is running a close second.

Bianca tells Babe how much she sacrificed for her, how she believed everyone over her, even her own sister. She tells her Kendall always hated her and she should have listened. The words that Babe dreaded to hear came next, "I've never hated anyone the way I hate you now." And just then, Krystal arrives with James. Babe wants Bianca to see him and brings them into the room. And with time running out, Babe urges Bianca to take Bess to the hospital to run the DNA test so that JR can't keep her anymore. She warns Bianca that JR is still dangerous and in denial.

And at the warehouse, Jamie and JR are still going it at. Jamie is trying to feel him out it seems. If his heart were ripped out and he found out his child was dead, does it register now what you have done to Babe, cutting her out of the baby's life and telling her that the baby will never know she existed? JR isn't listening. JR can't acknowledge that his child may be dead. He starts to boo hoo about how Bess will love him like no one in his life ever did. Um, Dixie? Tad? Jamie? Adam? Stuart? JR's sympathy factor really went down with that statement (not that I ever had any for him anyway). And as he calls Babe a whack job who is a danger to his daughter I can't help but think that is exactly what he is... a whack job! And as if on cue, JR attacks Jamie. This is how JR reacts when cornered. He attacks. While they are fighting, JR finds a weapon, a large wrench and starts beating Jamie with it. Kendall arrives, bursts in and stops JR before he can kill Jamie, which hello... he was just about to do! This is the loving doting father that Bess should be with? Ugh. Anyway, Kendall stays with Jamie to make sure he's OK and JR races out. Jamie calls Babe and tells her to get out now, JR got out and he is coming for her.

Babe and Krystal grab James and take off before JR can get there and see the baby. When he does arrive, it's just Bianca and Miranda. JR still clings to the notion that Babe is lying about everything, but Bianca is beyond that now. She tries to be understanding and tells JR that Babe hurt them both. She tries to explain things to JR but he's not hearing it. In one of many moves that earn him this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED AWARD he tells Bianca that she's crazy and has been ever since Cambias raped her. He goes on to say, "Now you want me to believe that this baby, this beautiful, perfect angel is a bastard spawn from some sicko rapist? As if anybody could love something like that." And even though earlier I said plenty of people have loved JR in his life, after he says this I'm left wondering how anyone could have ever loved someone like him. It's the most brutal and disgusting words I've ever heard. No amount of pain or denial can justify what he said. It was cruel and hateful. But still, Bianca tries to reason with him.

In a very calculated move, JR tells Bianca they should talk outside on the balcony. Why do I say calculated? Because everything was very calm and rational. They weren't yelling, Miranda wasn't sleeping. There was no reason to go outside unless JR had a plan in mind. And I believe he did. I think the plan was to lock her out there so he could leave with the baby. But things did not work out that way. Once they are out there, things get heated and JR refuses to believe that Bess is Miranda, even though he already knows it to be true. Bianca urges him to get a DNA test done so they can prove it once and for all. But JR says he just wants to go home to Pine Valley and they can figure it all out there. But then Bianca remembers something that Babe said, that JR is still a danger to her and she refuses to let him go until they can get a DNA test done.

Back at the warehouse, Babe has called David for help and Tad followed (mm hmm, Tad following David again). One again he tries to reason with them but as David pointed out, Jamie's head is pretty thick and he won't listen. Babe urges Tad to go to Bianca and help her with JR. Babe believes Kendall is with her, but Kendall has been delayed by Erica's arrival to ask her if she had anything to do with drugging Greenlee. Hey, who cares about that, we have more important things going on! Kendall and Erica are talking when they hear Bianca and JR yelling from outside the hotel room. They can't get in because the door is locked. JR is trying to push Bianca out onto the balcony while he goes inside and he shoves her a little too hard and she loses her footing, falling into the railing which breaks and Bianca falls over the balcony to the ground. Tad arrives just in time to see her hit the ground. Kendall, Erica, and JR with Miranda all race down to see if Bianca is OK. Kendall and Tad both ask JR what he did to Bianca and says these exact words, "I didn't mean for it ..." Sounds like an admission of guilt to me! Granted, I don't think he meant for her to fall over the railing.

Not knowing any of this happened, Babe is once again tearfully saying good bye to her mother and father. But hey, Jamie is so obsessed with protecting Babe, he gave his father a quick good bye and never once even got to say good bye to his mother other than a note. I hope that Tad is going to tell Brooke everything now. After Babe and Jamie leave with James, Krystal and David have a few drinks and David professes that he wants to go on the run with her. But David, what about your love for Tad!

The paramedics come and take an unconscious Bianca to the hospital. Tad prevents JR from leaving the scene and they all go to the hospital. Once the doctors start to work on Bianca, Kendall and Erica question JR about what happened. JR starts to spin a tale that is so unbelievable I wonder how he wasn't struck by lightning on the spot. He starts off by telling them that Bianca was crazed after Babe told her all the lies about Bess. That's really odd, because Bianca seemed really calm and rational to me. She should have been crazed, but she wasn't. She just wanted to get the DNA test done, JR was the one who was crazed and refused to do it. And whenever she tried to tell him about his son, she cut her off and she never finished her sentence. Then the blame game starts. First he tries to blame Babe, but Erica disputes that one quick enough with, "But Babe wasn't in that hotel suite, you were, JR." So now JR has to come up with a new strategy quickly, so he blames Kendall. It's Kendall's fault because he asked her not to leave Bianca alone with Babe. Yeah JR, that one will hold up. Try again. He claims that Bianca was freaked out by all of Babe's lies. Tad watches, knowing that JR is the one freaked out and lying because he knows that Babe didn't lie, this time!

The doctor comes out to the lobby to tell give them all a status report on Bianca's condition. We find out that she has no broken bones and no internal injuries, so there is no need for surgery at this time. But she does have a head trauma, with fluid accumulating in her brain. When Erica and Kendall get to go see Bianca, they find that she's still unconscious but that doctor says she may wake up soon. And it's a lovely moment where the Kane women come together. I gotta tell, I'm a sucker of these moments. Erica and Kendall huddle close to Bianca and tell her how much they love her and want her to wake up. Bianca stirs and calls out for Miranda. I got a little misty when Erica started to speak, so with that, I give you Erica's words, and this weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK: "The Kane women together. For better, for worse, for always, one of us is hurt, falters, gets lost, we pick each other up. We help each other find our way. Your grandmother would be so proud of you both. Bianca, you once said, honey, that together we are magic. And we are. Together, there is nothing we can't overcome. Hand in hand. Our love is part of our strength, our legacy. I feel my mother holding our hands right now, too. You were right, Mom. The future has never looked so promising. Wake up, Bianca, and share it with us." *sniff* Pass me a tissue please.

Back in the lobby, JR expresses relief that it seems Bianca will be OK. Tad takes the opportunity to remind JR how he smashed Jamie over the head with a wrench. JR claims that he was defending himself because Jamie was choking him. He was? Hmm, I don't recall such events. In fact, the way I remember it, Jamie was just trying to keep him from leaving. But JR tossed things at him, attacked him and it was Jamie who was defending himself. There was absolutely no choking going on. But yet, JR tells Tad that he never intended to hurt Jamie. By the looks of things, JR just kept beating him and beating him with that wrench. It was Kendall who stopped him, and then he took off and left him there bleeding and unconscious. Sounds pretty intentional to me. And again, he blames Babe for it. See this is my problem with JR. He wants the respect of an adult but he doesn't ever take responsibility for his own actions. Say what you will about Babe and her misdeeds, at least she accepts responsibility for what she has done. But to make myself perfectly clear, I think that Babe, Krystal, Jamie, David, Tad and JR all have things to answer for. Not one of them is innocent and I'm on the side of Bianca and Miranda.

Tad spots Erica running off and goes after her. He asks her if everything is alright. Erica tells him Bianca's still unconscious and looks so fragile. She keeps calling out for Miranda and Erica tells him that once Bianca wakes up, she's going to have to break her heart all over again with the reality that the baby is dead. Tad tells her that she doesn't have to do that because Miranda is very much alive. Oh good Lord, hold on to your seats folks because coming, it's the wrath of Kane!

This weeks AMC gets an A... BIANCA KNOWS!!!! But Bianca is unconscious. Don't worry and don't fret, you know it's almost time for a Christmas Miracle!