The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998


December 8, 1997

Being sick all week and lying on my deathbed (well not really, I'm just trying to snatch the title Queen of Melodrama from my mother), I've discovered why I hate watching AMC in real time...NO FAST FORWARD!!! Oh my, I watched AMC on Monday and on Tuesday and from there on, it was tape city!! It was actually quite a weird week. I have really been home all week, sick in bed. On Wednesday, President Clinton was in town and AMC was preempted. Oh, I was so happy. I didn't have to see Laura, or Scott or that icky scene with Jim and Brooke. I happily taped Thursday's show and Friday's show. And when I went to watch them both on Friday afternoon, I had Wednesday's show and Friday's show! ACK!!! Where was Thursday's show?? So, I did have to see Laura and Scott and that icky scene with Brooke and Jim!! Oh the humanity! Well thank goodness by then I was able to fast forward.

OK, enough about me, and on with the Scoop. This has been a pretty forgettable week on AMC. A whole lot of Gillian (just a tip hon; lengthen that skirt a little before we see more you than we saw of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct!). So let's see, Gilly needs to pass a test so her student visa isn't revoked. After cutting Economics class for a week, she was able to pick up on it in an hour with Gel Boy's help. Well, that Scott is some tutor huh? And bravo to Jamie for pointing out to Laura how much fun her old boyfriend is having with that other girl. You've got great sensitivity kid, I see a big future for you for you as the head of TransGlobal! In other Gillian news, it seems Daddy Dearest has squandered all the family jewels and has left Gillian and Grandmummy Eugenia penniless. And good old Dim got to break the news. Just then, Eugenia shows up in Pine Valley to surprise Gillian. Just when is Gillian going to break the news to Eugenia anyway? And how many more people are going to move into Wildwind? It's starting to look like Linden House with the conglomeration of people there. And old Gill thinks she can get rich again. Of course, her plan is to attach herself to some rich man. Edmund. I find this rather strange. First, Edmund is a little old for her, and second, why not Scott? Not that I want to see these two together, Gel Boy is just too boring for Gillian. But he's closer to her age and is also rich; he's got that Chandler name. But, well, ours is not to wonder why. And while I'm still talking about Gel Boy and Gillian, Scott is the proud owner of this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK: "Gillian you're a natural flirt and the world needs you." Huh?

Tim just seems to get himself in deeper and deeper. And that sprain sure got cured quick. One day he can barely stand up, the next he's walking around like a trooper. Gee Tim, it wasn't the least bit suspicious that you seemed to not want to sign your name to your statement. Wonder why that is, Tim? And did you think that Detective Frye and former detective Dillon didn't notice your reluctance to sign? Oh wait, silly me, they probably didn't!! We know from next week's scoops that Tim is going to crack and tell the truth. Well it's about time! So he's a kid, so what? He's old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. What he did could have sent Janet back to prison. I guess that's what he wanted, but still. Did he not think ahead what this would do to Amanda? No, it doesn't seem like it. So, without further ado, and by popular demand, Tim is this weeks recipient of the I NEED TO BE SLAPPED AWARD. The reasons are obvious. His lying, his fighting with everyone, and for his total lack of regard for his sister. Now, what concerns me is this "question" that Trevor has to ask Janet. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!! Not a marriage proposal!! Oh my, that would be awful! Trevor and Janet happily ever after?? I just don't buy it. And just because Tim tells the truth, does that mean he will be OK with it, if that's what it is? I don't think Tim is through with his meddling yet. I suspect that there are more antics to come.

Allie's got a secret, Allie's got a secret. Big deal, who cares? My guess: she cheated on her hospital boards or she had someone else take the test for her. Would that mean she's not really a doctor at all? I'm not sure. But we do know that whatever it is, David knows about it and plans to blackmail her into the sack. Well, Wonder Dr. Cardiologist is sure a scum huh? I just don't get why he wants Allie so bad. Evidently he's quite the ladies man. But it's Allie that he wants? Ok, whatever. So he sets up a little romantic scenario in an empty hospital room. That's enough right there to make me want to gag. My question is, just how long are we going to have to wait until her big deep dark secret is revealed? Please AMC, put us out of our misery on this one soon!

Erica meets her double. Yes, Maggie does resemble a MUCH younger Ms. Kane. So what's her deal? Dress Maggie up in prison browns and Erica will take her clothes and walk right out the door with no one noticing? Oh yeah, that'll work. Although, with the prison guards more like Keystone Kops, I wouldn't be surprised if it did work. For some unknown reason, Erica felt she needed a knife, so she hid it in her luxury suite at The Jailbird Inn. Since when do prison cells have not only that much room, but also a lovely bowl of fruit on the table? And how is it that Erica has that big old thing of powder in her locker, along with other cosmetics and things. Is this jail or a country club? I can't wait for Christmas when she is finally out of jail and we can put an end to this silly, unrealistic jail stuff.

Well, this week we learned that Teresa Blake (Gloria) was given the boot from AMC. I guess we can assume that her pregnancy test will be negative. Then again, maybe not. Maybe when she finally wakes up and smells the coffee and sees Dim for the lying, cheating rat bastard that he is, she just won't tell him that she's pregnant and will leave town. That leaves the door open for her return and the much later return of yet another long lost child for a character on AMC. Personally, I feel bad for Teresa Blake. I didn't hate Gloria, but I've had tons of fun making fun of her these past few months. And I really liked her a lot when she was nuts and poisoning Adam, and breast feeding the pillow she thought was Anna Claire. The woman wanted to leave the show about a year or so ago, and TPTB talked her into staying. Why, so they could fire her later? Nice. And I'm a little sick of these excuses they seem to give for anyone being let go... first Skye, now Gloria. For Skye, they said she was written into a corner with no way out. Um, excuse me, writers? You are PAID to get her out of that corner. And now Gloria, she was let go due to her storyline coming to an end. OK, well if that's the case, it sure looks to me as if Edmund's storyline has come to an end now that he has Maddie back. So why wasn't he let go? Why wasn't Kevin let go when he made up with his mom and his storyline ended? Don't BS me people, I'm not buying it. What's the real reason that Carrie Genzel was let go? What's the real reason Teresa Blake was let go? Enquiring minds want to know!

So, does it look like Sleazeball Jim is falling in love with the overly horny and trampish Ms. English? Looks like it to me, and looks like he's not real happy about it either. Brooke is making me ill! She is acting like a slut. The way she throws herself at Jim. Ewww. The bar scene was bad enough... thank goodness we were spared seeing them roll around Jim's bed at the Valley Inn. I've heard that with Megan McTavish back at the helm as head writer, she will straighten out Brooke and make her smart again. Well, that's not happening soon enough. Brooke is acting like a such a hosebag I can't even stand it. He's the man she wants to stay in bed with forever? He's the man she always wants in her bed? Hose her down! Take a cold shower honey. And now with Ricky back in Pine Valley and OD-ing and in the hospital... how long will it be until Jim's involvement in Laura's kidnapping is discovered? Probably not too long. If Megan brings Brooke back to her senses, then maybe the investigative reporter part of her will kick back in and she will figure out that she's been had all this time. By then it will be too late, she and Jim will be in love with each other... then what? Nevermind, I think I know. We'll be hearing something like Roscoe Born (Jim) has been let go do to storyline reasons. Seems Jim was written into a corner with no way out.