The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998


December 7, 1998

Yikes, it's Thanksgiving around the Weirdwind table! What do we find there this time? Dim feeding Maddie grabbed my attention after Dim had attempted to gain custody of her himself. But I guess that's all water under the bridge now huh? Actually, if we ever get to see Maddie and Sam at all, it's because they cart them out for a holiday huh? What a shame that we never got to see Edmund struggle with single fatherhood. Too late now, Maria's been "dead" for close to two years and Edmund has anyone and everyone to take care of his kids. Everyone but their MIA grandmother I mean. So... what else is happening around the dinner table? Dimmie is playing matchmaker and gets Ryan over for dinner. I loved that! Dimmie is my man these days. But little did everyone know that Ryan is the man Kit thinks raped her. So there she is, sitting around the table with him. Ryan is oblivious to even thinking he'd be a suspect, which I find rather naive of him. After the groping those two did that night and the fact that she's freaked when she sees him should be a bit of a clue to Ryan. But nope, Ryan doesn't give it a thought really and he still doesn't when Kit starts to go into her bit where her eyeballs go back so far that she looks like she's staring at her own forehead.

Then something bizarre happens... Jack and Edmund leave her alone in the room with Ryan. The guy that obviously is making her edgy. They go off to talk about uh, duh... what could be making Kit so edgy? Jack: "It seems Kit turned loopy when Ryan walked in, what do you think caused that?" Edmund: "You know, I can't think of a thing that would cause that. Let's have Ryan get her coat and help her on with it." Which he does and then Kit really goes bonkers as Ryan looks at her with a look of shear confusion.

So Gillian comes back from her latest romp with David and sees Kit going nutso and asks what's going on and was this the woman Ryan boinked on Halloween? Smooth move Gilly. Let me back up a minute to Gillian's latest romp. Just what is her deal? She can't cope with seeing the man she loves so she has to go have sex with David? She goes to WRCW and finds him eating cold pizza in Liza's office. Actually he was looking mighty cozy in that office, and soon he gets even cozier. So they talk about how she can get revenge on Ryan by doing David again. So, with door open, because no one ever shuts a door on AMC, David and Gillian get down and dirty on Liza's desk. I swear the girl is dumb as a rock... but even so, I love her. But I'm going to give her this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award anyway. Ryan left her for good because she slept with David, so what does she think going back to David again was going to get her... well other than the obvious?

Back to Weirdwind... Gillian comes in and makes everything worse. Something she has gotten really good at doing. But as Jack goes ballistic about blaming Ryan, Dimmie is my rock! He defends Ryan while Gillian is babbling about Kit being in some kind of "post-romantic stress syndrome." Hayley and Mateo arrive after their own bizarro Thanksgiving meal and find out what is happening. As Dim and Hayley tell Ryan not to say anything until he has a lawyer, Ryan insists he doesn't need a lawyer and tells them he is innocent. Dimitri is really the only sensible one in all of this. Edmund had run off after Kit and Hayley went to try and contact Trevor, so it's Dim and Jack butting heads. And even though Dim tries to talk him out of it, Ryan goes to the police station with Jack. Never a dull moment at Weirdwind huh Dim?

Then Mateo shows me his true colors again by not believing that Ryan is innocent. But Hayley is having none of this. She tells him that he's been there for her, that Mateo himself sent Ryan after her to make sure she was ok and she is going to be there for him now. It's about damn time that Hayley stand up to that fool. He gave in though, so he was redeemed slightly for that, in my eyes anyway (but not much).

At the police station, Ryan tells Jack and Derek exactly what happened that night, while in the Hunting Lodge, Kit tells Edmund. Do I even need to mention that Jack is totally impartial here and should not be in that room during the interrogation? Let's see... he didn't take himself off Erica's kidnapping case even though he was in love with her at the time. He did remove himself from Brooke's murder trial because they were too close of friends. Now his sister is raped and he doesn't remove himself. Hey Jack, does the name Keith ring any bells?

Ryan's story and Kit's story are identical, well up until the end anyway. Ryan's story ends with him leaving the bar and going home. Kit's story ends with her getting attacked by a man in a wolf mask that smells like Ryan's cologne. Now Eddie is a smart guy, why didn't he pick up on this. We know that Ryan was wearing that mask at one point in the evening because he scared Kit with it in the bar. We know that Kit would know what Ryan's cologne smelled like because she was draped all over him all night. So why wouldn't the mask smell like his cologne anyway, even if he wasn't the one who raped her wearing it? Well, that's my explanation on that anyway. About the line "score one for the kid" is concerned... the rapist heard Ryan say it. Or, it's something the rapist coincidentally says often and Ryan just happened to have said it that night too. But Ed continues to disappoint me. He tells Kit to convince him that it was Ryan, someone he knows. She tells her story and bing bang boom, he believes Ryan did it without even getting his side of the story. Is that what they teach you in investigative journalism school, Ed?

Gillian rushes off to David for help. That makes zero sense to me, but to Gillian it makes perfect sense. She begs David to help her by having the governor set Ryan free. After all, the Gov owes David a favor since David performed that bi-polar operation on him. David has no intentions of getting involved in this so he tells Gilly that it would hurt him too much to help Ryan. I don't know how he kept a straight face through this whole little convo with Gillian!

Hayley and Mateo arrive at the police station while Ryan is being questioned and Hayley is ticked! She and Dim can't believe that Ryan went into that room without a lawyer present. Neither can I really. Then Gillian shows up and as she continues to try and help Ryan, she only succeeds in making things worse... again. She goes on and on about how great Ryan is, now he could never be a rapist, how she will take a polygamy test to prove she's not lying. The best part of this was seeing Dim and Hayley look at each other and mouth the word polygamy. Then Gillian pulls Hayley aside and shows her a gun. Gillian with a gun can't be a good thing, luckily it was fake. She wants Hayley to create a diversion so she can get Ryan out of the police station. OK, the girl is just plain old not thinking. She wants so badly to help. Then she again makes things worse by spouting off about Ryan's troubled childhood. But even through all Gillian's bumbling, Ryan will come to lean on her and thank her for her support. The two of them will probably end up living at Myrtle's.

It's time for Kit to make her statement to the police now. Edmund encourages her by calling her a steel magnolia. Yeah sure ok... whatever Edmund. Then Eddie gets to stay in the room and again, so does Jack. I'm sure this all fuels Jack's rage even more. Again I'm pissed at Ed. Derek tells Kit to tell them about the alleged rape and Edmund gets testy and says to Derek, "Derek? Alleged?" Yes Ed, alleged! Her word against his. Nothing proven yet. Alleged! Sheesh! Then Erica shows up with my man Dimitri. Dimitri gets this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK. He's been terrific! Eddie could take a lesson from him! So Dim had gone to Erica to find out what it is she knows about Kit. She finally told him and off they went to tell the police. Yes, it turns out that Kit did accuse Tad of rape back in Napa. Falsely of course. Tad had been confronting Kit about this in the park, but he got to the police station to help out Erica and Dim. Then the whole thing ends with Ryan running into Kit at the park. I can't imagine anything good comes out of that!

Well, enough about that already! Let's talk about Thanksgiving with the Dillon's. Janet did the only thing she ever does on AMC anymore, served food. Raquel and Max joined them for dinner so they could have a Thanksgiving as a family. Mateo decides he wants them to stay in Pine Valley so he could be a real father to Max and he would get them a little house. Uh Matt, why don't you buy yourself a house first, before you go off buying one for someone else. Oh wait, where's the jobless wonder going to get money for one house, let alone two!? But instead of thinking this is a good thing, Bambi, uh I mean Raquel thinks that this means Mateo is going to try and take Max from her. She doesn't listen to anyone. After Raquel leaves in a huff, Hayley gets into the supportive wife mode and calls Mateo, Poppa and makes plans for all the stuff they will do with their time with Max. In the meantime, Raquel is getting all freaked and telling Angela how Hayley wants to take her son. When did Hayley say that? Did I miss something? Angela seems to think that Hayley wouldn't do that, but Raquel again, won't listen to anyone. So she packs up and decides to skip town with Max. Ta da! Trev is way smarter than her and realized she may try to do just that and stops her. He even gets the cops to guard her car.

Oh baby, oh baby! Adrian doing situps on the floor! I think my tongue was hanging out farther than Belinda's was! This scene gets my brand new weekly award SCENE OF THE WEEK. I loved seeing these two flirting with each other and loved it even more when, after Belinda finally said something about seeing Adrian's father and he questioned why it took so long to mention it, she said she was distracted by the shirtless guy doing situps on the floor when she came in. She acknowledged her own drool! Woof! I can't wait to see these two getting it on this week! It's about time don't ya think!?

Oh Adam, you say you respect Liza. I'm sorry but I just don't believe you. In fact, you are so full of crap it's sickening! He went on and on and on about how much admiration he has for her, how he never stopped loving her, how he wants another chance. The only saving grace about all this was that the music was turned up so loud due to the tech people being locked out of AMC and them using the management staff, that I couldn't hear all of Adam's stupid lies. Well, I suppose he doesn't think he's lying really. In fact he was being very sentimental and sweet, but it was sickening because he talks about respect and love and the whole time he's keeping a huge secret from her. And Liza is actually going to consider giving him another chance. Then Adam does something truly bizarre, he asks for Marian's help in getting Liza back. It takes a little convincing and coaxing on Adam's part, telling Marian he will love that baby like it was his own. Really Adam? And that he "couldn't deceive Liza if he tried." Now that's a joke! He's deceiving her every minute by not telling her he's really the father! Well after all this BS that Adam hands her, Marian does finally agree to help him. That can't be good!

Tad and Jake at the health club was pretty interesting this week. They were talking about their pathetic love lives and Tad wants to bet Jake on who can pick up a chick first. Jake doesn't think he stands a chance because Tad is a TV celebrity. But then, Tad gives Jake this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK, "You're a young good looking doctor with a lot of hair and big lips." I loved it! This stuff comes so naturally to Michael E. Knight, you'd swear he ad libs it! Tad then goes and tries to make some time with Wendy the Buxom Weathergirl, but it's too late. Liza had told Wendy that Tad has crabs! Later at the Valley Inn, Tad finds out what Liza said to her and is not at all happy and takes off. Liza is pretty ticked that Dixie hurt him so badly and has plans to tell off "Little Miss Magnolia." It's too bad that Dixie is laying in the hospital, too proud to tell anyone about her condition. She's going to die on her own terms. Please! Do I have to say it again? Get over yourself Dixie! Accept help, accept love... quit being so damn stubborn! My final thought on all this is... why hasn't Opal told Tad that Dixie is in the hospital!?