The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


December 28, 1998

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! I'm ready to burst from eating so many Christmas cookies!! I can't help it though, I'm a sucker for those yummy peanut butter ones with the Hershey kiss on top.

OK, on with the show. Speaking of yummy... just as Opal barged in on him and Belinda, playing her mother hen role to the hilt, Adrian came out of Belinda's bedroom looking positively delectable in nothing but a towel. Oh that man, he just does something to me! And I loved how he and Belinda were lovey dovey/touchy feely. Those two could not keep their hands off each other. Mortified with embarrassment, Opal leaves, but comes back later when Belinda calls her over. Belinda has figured out that Opal is Adrian's mother and confronts her with it. At first Opal denied it, which forced Belinda to say something rather strange. She said that she would rather Adrian never know who his mother is, than admit she slept with a black man. That was a pretty big assumption to make. One that never dawned on me at all, and from the looks of it, it never dawned on Opal either. Their confrontation was very intense and I was totally mesmerized by Opal telling her story. Opal was so moving and so sincere about her love for Adrian, her son, that she never knew, that she gets this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK. Belinda realized that this is something that Opal is not ashamed of, but that it will hurt too many people, so she agrees to keep Opal's secret. Of course, it's not a secret for long when Opal is pressured into telling Palmer what her connection to Adrian is next week. I can't wait to see the reactions of Palmer, Tad and Adrian when all this comes to light.

In the spirit of Christmas, I had decided to not give the slap award this week, but alas, I must. Palmer is being so awful, I can't stand it! As Adrian listens outside the door with spy gear, Palmer is talking to his lawyer about how he plans on leaving Opal with nothing, not even Petey! He has an investigator out trying to dig up dirt on Opal to use against her. I don't understand when PC suddenly decided that Opal's not good enough for him. It really makes me sick! So here it is, Palmer gets this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED AWARD. I loved how Adrian confronted Palmer after Walter left and told him there was no way he was going to let him do that to Opal. He really got in Palmer's face, and I loved when he said, "How do you get such a nice even close shave without using a mirror?" Ahh vampire jokes, I never get sick of them.

This whole Tad and Dixie thing is on my last nerve. He keeps asking questions, she keeps evading him. Then they separately long for each other. So why is it that Dixie can't bear hurting Tad again if she's not going to live, but thinks nothing of hurting him by pretending that Braden is her boyfriend? And why is it that while it's supposed to look like Dixie has moved on, she feels the need to sabotage Tad's efforts to do the same? Dixie and Wooden spun this big tale for Tad, about how she really was in New York City with him and never went to Paris to see Lanie. After Tad finally leaves, Wooden gives this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK. Wooden asks Dix if telling Tad they were together was alright. She told him the story was perfect. Wooden then says, "Doesn't it worry you that I'm such a good actor?" Oh man, I almost fell out of my chair from laughing so hard! A good actor?? Sorry honey, but Al Pacino you are not! Hell, you're not even Al Bundy!

As David is writing up Dixie's diagnosis, Tad barges in and demands to know what is wrong with Dixie. (By the way, did you notice Dixie's age on her record? It says she's 35!! If Dixie is 35 then Susan Lucci is really 50!! I estimate Dixie to be about 28 years old unless she had a severe case of SORAS) David reminds him about a little thing called patient confidentiality and Tad goes off in a huff. But he has a plan. He'll get the resident chart peaker to take a look at Dixie's record. Of course, at first Jake refuses, because he always does that. But then he gives in and taps into the system so Tad can take a peak. The best part was, they stayed in Hayward's office to do it! My but they are brave. Then the only thing they found out was that Dixie had an anxiety attack. Oh well, better luck next time guys!

After Jack leaves town to be with Lily, Edmund convinces Kit to move into the Hunting Lodge so she's not alone for the holidays. He told her that Wildwind has 24 hour surveillance so she won't have to fear Ryan showing up. Interesting since that surveillance didn't work when Lee Hawkins was around. At any rate, she agrees to move in. So this week my SCENE OF THE WEEK should actually be called WORST SCENE OF THE WEEK. Kit is putting away some of her things and goes up on a step ladder. Just as she is about to tumble off that huge two-step step ladder, Edmund swoops down and she lands in his arms, then they kiss passionately. Excuse me while I hurl. Edmund then gets a case of the guilts and uses some really convoluted logic about instinct taking over when you brush up against someone. Yeah Eddie, whatever. He basically got freaked because Kit is the first woman he's kissed since Maria "died". After he leaves, he goes to the mausoleum to have a chat with Maria and of course, Kit listens in. Edmund tells Maria that he will never love anyone but her, much to Kit's dismay. Don't sweat it Kit, Eddie will be changing his mind.

After Mateo tells Hayley he thinks Raquel should move into Wildwind with them, Hayley actually shows some backbone. She got so angry that she broke a glass in her bare hand. Nice trick. She's right though, there is no way that Raquel should be living with them, and Mateo actually agreed with her. It's too bad she ended up giving in anyway. Max isn't going to get to know his daddy with Raquel around all the time.

Strange things are afoot at the Dillon house. Amanda is suddenly a brat who wants everything her way and they all agree to it! Sheesh, let's all indulge the kid a little more huh? Don't get me wrong, I think Amanda's great, I just think they are having her be a bit too bratty lately. So after serving up a big plate of Belgian waffles, Janet, Trevor and Tim all try to get Amanda to accept the dog that so wants to be a part of their family. But Amanda won't budge and insists instead on getting a Harold angel ornament. So even though Janet says the Dillons only do things if everyone agrees, Amanda didn't like the dog, so Trevor took him back to the pound. Then our little mangy pooch leads the way for an animal revolt and all the dogs run free out of the pound. If that isn't weird enough, the dog ends up back at the Dillons and Amanda won't have anything to do with him, so they chain him up outside. Lo and behold, the Dillon house is plagued by another fire. Looks like it started in the kitchen, maybe Janet left her waffle iron on. But you would think that once you had a fire, you would have working smoke detectors in the house, but who needs them when you have super pooch sleeping on your front porch! As luck would have it, Trevor left a window open right where the dog was outside so he could get in and go wake Amanda up. Open windows in December in Pennsylvania. Sure thing. Yadda yadda yadda, Amanda wakes everyone up, the dog is a hero, and Amanda agrees to adopt him.

Gillian decides to return David's money. David is especially cold and heartless to her. I think she finally realizes what a scumball he is, yet she still thinks she hurt him. After Gillian leaves, David has a good laugh and asks when Gillian will ever learn. So what does that mean? I think it means he's not through with her just yet. We'll have to wait and see on that. David is definitely obsessed with proving that Adam is the father of Liza's baby. So he fakes a study on heart problems in infants and hires Kyle the lab tech. Kyle has access to patient records and tests. David talks Kyle into giving him samples of women's amniotic fluid so he can study them. Ta da! He of course gets Liza's sample. Now all he needs is some of Adam's DNA. This should be interesting.

It's Christmas in Pine Valley and there is celebrating all over the place. Gillian and Rine have moved into Myrtle's and Gilly has done her best to make it a nice Christmas. Unfortunately all Rine's memories of Christmas are bad ones, and he doesn't even want to celebrate it. He does however, show Gillian the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe! The sexual tension between these two is incredible!

Over at Stuart's Christmas Palace, everyone who enters gets antlers and a red nose! Dixie shows up with Junior and Wooden and introduces him to everyone. Dixie finally realizes she doesn't know the guy's last name, but Wooden just covers it by saying, "It's just Wooden." No last name, personally I think it's Lavery. Dixie and Adam are talking about his whereabouts the previous night, and he admits he stayed at Liza's place. Dixie makes some snide remark about Sliza, which seems to have gone right past Adam. Then when Liza shows up with gifts for her mother, Stuart and Junior, Dixie answers the door by saying, "Ho" then covers it up by adding 2 more (ho ho). It's getting old Dix.

At Wildwind they carted out Sam and Maddie for the holiday. Kit joined the family and Dimitri was back from his mystery trip. Raquel came over to celebrate with Max and everyone else, and this is when Hayley gave in and asked Max if he would like his mommy to live with them. Gee Hayley, did you think that one up on your own? Or did the idiot who did your hair help you come up with it?

At the Dillon's, all is well. No fire damage and Amanda is now happy to have a new dog. And suddenly, the yearly Christmas miracle happens and there is an ornament on their tree that looks just like Harold with wings. No one finds it odd that it appears out of nowhere and Janet thanks her dead sister! Then they burst into a rousing rendition of Harold's song "Hark the Harold Angels Sing." Like I said, strange things are afoot at the Dillon home.

And at the Martin's house, everyone who's anyone is there. Brooke, Phoebe, Myrtle, Joe, Jake, Tad, Opal, Adrian, Belinda, Petey, Jamie and even Ruth! It was nice to see her after all this time, but she needs to brush up on learning her lines... she seemed out of practice. My favorite part was when Adrian gave Belinda her Christmas present, a phone call from Noah!