The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


December 20, 1999

Well, this is my last Editorial of the 90's! Yes, I'm taking next weekend off to spend the holiday with my family and friends. Here's wishing you all the happiest and healthiest of holidays!! Thanks for another great year ;)

Have you ever seen a faster trip to and from Europe before!? One minute, David tells Erica he's headed to London to do some checking up on Leo and before you can say wardrobe change, David not only went to London, but came back too! And he actually managed to do some digging on Leo in that miniscule amount of time. He did enough nosing around that Leo knew he did it anyway. I guess David must have taken that amazing PV transport system that gets people from the hospital to the Boathouse in seconds flat, or anywhere else they want to go. I wonder when the rest of the world will catch up with Pine Valley.

This week, Gillian has really made progress in her speech therapy. You can also add physical therapist to Jake's credentials as he and Gillian did a workout at the hospital sun porch of all places. One would think that the hospital exercise room, physical therapy room, or even her own room would have been a better place to do some stretching and exercising. But then Ryan couldn't have walked in on them and gotten jealous when he saw Jake kissing her, now could he? It's really quite annoying... Jake sees the feelings Ryan and Gillian have for each other and gets jealous. Then Ryan sees Jake and Gillian in a tender moment and he gets jealous. Now you all know that I love Ryan and Gillian together but Ryan really needs to make up his mind. One minute he seems like he truly loves her and I'm giving them SCENE OF THE WEEK, which I am... when he went to see her before he left for New York. Yes, I'm predictable...sue me. I just can't help it. To me, they are magical. Ryan is a totally different person when he's around her. She grounds him in a way no one else has been able to do. She lets him be Ryan, not the skirt chaser he once was, and is when he's around Tramplee.

Ahh Tramplee, let's discuss her for a moment shall we? She shows up at Ryan's apartment for some afternoon delight. Ryan's a little out of sorts at first because he's thinking of Gillian and Jake kissing. But soon, she's disrobing and Ryan's attention er, rises. So, they get into it hot and heavy. Knock knock!! Who's there? Waifley. Waifley who? Waifley, I have no point in coming over here other than to see a bra on the couch and know you're doing someone already. So, after Waifley rushes out, Tramplee comes out of hiding and is about to leave, knowing that Ryan's mind isn't into it now. Hey since when is she concerned with his mind? So he convinces her that his, uh, mind, is into it and they hit the sofa. In the afterglow, as Ryan sleeps Tramplee suddenly makes it known that she's got more than just lust for him. She whispers something about how she knows she means nothing to him now, but she will someday. And Ryan sleeps through this little revelation, thank goodness. Personally I see Leo and Tramplee as a match made in heaven, and I suspect that it will be him that accompanies Tramplee to the big country club shindig this week.

Over at SOS, Adrian is playing with some old surveillance equipment, a listening device, and shows Tina how it works. Trevor comes in to get Adrian and Mateo's signatures on the final buyout papers and after Adrian walks off, Trevor and Mateo start talking about Waifley. Tina listens in as Trevor tells him that Waifley and Ryan are barely speaking to each other and never slept together. Mateo is skeptical, but finally Trevor convinces him that it's true. Tina is not too pleased to hear this since she has some agenda to win Mateo's heart. Why? I have no idea. But after Trevor leaves, Mateo confides in his new buddy old pal/confidante/partner Adrian, everything that Trevor said. Mateo is a little ticked that Waifley would lie about sleeping with Ryan, but Adrian makes a very good point... if she had told you she didn't, would you believe her? Shockingly, Mateo admits that he probably wouldn't have believed her. Do I sense some maturity and growth coming from Assholeo? It's probably an illusion. All the while, Tina listens in.

Jake takes Gilly on her first outing out of the hospital since the accident and takes her to SOS. Mateo and Adrian are so happy to see her out and Mateo is quick to tell her that Ryan and Waifley are no longer seeing each other and never even slept together. Gilly is now looking more confused than ever. Come now, we all know she still has feelings for Ryan and if Ryan would get off his duff and tell her he still loves her, Jake wouldn't stand a chance. Oh and Mateo also mentioned that he really misses Max. At least he remembered he has a son.

A slow song comes on and Gilly and Jake go dance, but you can see that Gilly is pondering what Mateo just told her. Enter Tina, cooing and batting her eyelashes at Mateo. She asks him if it's OK for the boss and an employee to dance together. Mateo says yes, then tells her he's got to go to the back room and check out the stock. So Tina saunters over to Adrian, cooing and batting her eyelashes, she tells him that Mateo said it's OK for the boss and an employee to dance and asks him if he'd like to. Adrian, in a strong contender for line of the week says, "If I was interested in being second in line, I'd run for Vice President." Oh yes, you go Adrian!! It was a good one, but there was something else that got the award. At any rate there is an award to give out here... the I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award goes to Tina. First of all, anyone who would put Adrian second to Mateo needs their head examined. And B, get back to work and quit asking everyone to dance, wench!

OK, David finally tells Erica his tale about Siobhan. It's a little different from Alex's, of course. In David's version he is not to blame for Siobhan's death. Yes, he treated her poorly, but he did not give her the key to the medicine cabinet like Alex says, she stole it from him. He also tells Erica that Alex came on to him, but he rejected her, thus Alex is scorned. And while David is telling Erica his story, in the hospital chapel, Alex is telling her version to PC and Joe. She tells them that David knew Siobhan was unstable and he gave her the key to the medicine cabinet knowing she would go get something and OD. The funny thing here is that Alex sounds like a total mental case, but as usual, David is calm, cool and collected. Then David points out that because of Alex's accusations, he lost a grant and surprise, Alex got it. Alex fluffs that off as having nothing to do with anything. Beg to differ Alex... it has everything to do with it. As I was watching these scenes unfold, Alex looked more and more like a kook. Even Joe and PC must have thought so because they took David's side and recommended him to the board for the director's position, against Alex's wishes. I know there has to be more to this story than both Alex and David are saying. It seems to me like Alex is in some kind of denial about the whole thing and is projecting the blame onto David, when it really belongs somewhere else. Like maybe she's to blame for the roommates death? Or maybe Alex just needs to "relax" for a little while at Oak Haven. I think this is just the beginning of some very nutty behavior for the new Mrs. Marick.

Edmund goes to see Alex at the Hunting Lodge and she sort of relays to him what happened. Edmund asks her if she was in love with David. Seems everyone thinks Alex has a bit of the scorned woman complex. She assures him that she has never been in love with him so Edmund urges her to fight him. Alex decides to do just that by staying in Pine Valley and running the foundation with him. Seems awfully dumb to me. If she was going to do that why doesn't she just run it herself, that's what Dimitri wanted anyway. Like I said... kooky.

With Stuart playing Adam and running his business, he decides to back Tad's new TV show idea and gives him a check for $5 mil. Janet overhears this and decides to capitalize on "Adam's" generosity and goes to see him and try to talk him into giving her the $50,000 to pay off Sophie. She pitches her children's charity pitch, but Stuart can see through it and realizes she's in trouble. But, playing Adam, he gives her the money anyway, while Adam watches on his nanny cam. Janet tells "Adam" that he's the most generous man she's ever known, but the real Adam is none too pleased with this transaction and gives us this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK when he says, "No I'm not! As a matter of fact, when I get out of here I'm coming after you with a crowbar!" Janet gives Sophie the money, but unbeknownst to her, Sophie has no intentions of leaving town.

Sophie follows Janet around town. She reveals herself to Janet at SOS in a security guard uniform. Janet is freaking out and tells Sophie she had better make tracks. Sophie throws another threat Amanda's way and leaves. Mirror Janet starts to taunt Janet and urges her to take care of Sophie. Poor Janet, she's really starting to unravel and next week takes some very drastic measures. So let's talk theories here... what will happen to Sophie and how will this effect Trevor's departure. Well I have a couple; let's start with Sophie kills Trevor. A no brainer really. Sophie is an inconsequential throw away character. The perfect kind to commit a murder. And fancy that, she's already a murderer. With this one I even throw in that Janet and Amanda, so full of grief, leave Pine Valley and move to France to be near Tim. Then there's the Janet kills Sophie theory. She's really going over the edge and fast. Maybe she'll kill Sophie and then, to avoid going to jail again, she finally confides in Trevor and they all skip town together. Or, after killing Sophie, she confides in Trevor and Trevor takes the wrap for her and either goes to jail or goes on the run. Perhaps Sophie kills them all because she really wanted Smoky all along and this was the only way to get him. Maybe Sophie is really Mirror Janet. Maybe Pine Valley blows up in a Y2K disaster and only Adam survives because he's in the safe room.

Phew, calm down woman. Realizing that Stuart has been playing Adam all along, Tad decides to play along but also appeal to Stuart's sensibilities. He pitches a new show where Adam gives all his money to the less fortunate. Stuart, as Adam, decides this is a great idea so Tad calls a press conference to announce Adam's philanthropy. Tad will co-host the show with Rae and they will have people come and give "Adam" their hard luck stories, and if they are worthy, he will give them a million dollars. The object was to give away at least $100 million of Adam's money. Adam is really freaking out when he hears this and sets out to break out of the safe room.

Well... in the meantime, Liza realizes that Tad knows it's really Stuart. And Brooke comes to the station to tell Rae that she found Daniel. Oh I must interject here for one second... WHO CARES! Well, Rae does because she skips out on Tad and heads to New York to find Daniel. So Dixie takes over as co-host of the show. Liza got Stuart a Santa Claus costume and once again, he gets this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award. He's incredible. Stuart playing Adam playing Santa Claus. Wow... who else could pull this off other than David Canary. I'd like to see someone try! Well, the first million went to a little boy who's community center burned down. Oh that really tugged at Stuart's heartstrings. But not as much as the next pitchster. Jake came up and asked "Adam" for a million dollars for the Cindy Chandler AIDS Hospice. Another mil down! 98 more to go. I wonder how many they will dole out before Adam gets himself out of that room.

And a couple small items... Dixie got Leo a job as Tad's assistant. Tad is trying hard to dislike the guy, but somehow it's just not working. And Tramplee tries to schmooze Waifley so she can work on her show. Leo observes her and tells her he's on to her... she doesn't want to work on the show, she wants Waifley's job herself. Tramplee is impressed. Oh and she did have a very cute line. Ryan was headed to NYC and Tramplee wanted to go with him. She said she could get tickets to any show, and even has an in with the new star of "Annie Get Your Gun" Go Susan!!!

OK... AMC gets a C- this week. Not as bad and dull as last week, but still a shell of it's former glory days.