The Pine Valley Bulletin

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Established 1998


August 6, 2002

There is SO much to talk about I can hardly wait to get started!!! But first, the cd selections for this writing... Liz Phair "Whip-Smart," Social Distortion "Live at the Roxy," "Alice Cooper's Greatest Hits," and Rob Zombie "The Sinister Urge."

You know, I'm constantly hearing from people who think AMC is absolutely terrible right now and all I can say to that is "HUH!? Are we watching the same show?" Sure, there are always things I don't like (ie, Anna, and the never ending "do they love each other or not" saga of Adam and Liza) but I think AMC is in a very positive upswing and look forward to watching it now more than I have in years. So, with that said, let's get to it!

Nubies, nubies and more nubies: We have NuTim, NuMateo (he should probably be called TempMateo, but I'm being optimistic), NuPetey, NuFrank. Honorable mention goes to NuKendall and NuJR even though they've been on long enough to not be considered nu anymore!

Let's assess the nubies. NuTim: I'm not convinced this recast was necessary. Tom Michaels is about the age they wanted for Tim, and he is known and loved. Sure, maybe he wasn't available, but I think out of all the "teens" this one is the least convincing. He seems too old to be playing someone who is supposedly 19ish. And the jury is still out on his pairing with Maggie. I think I've said before that I feel that Maggie has no point at all, and matching her with NuTim seems to put them both in the pointless category. But I'm willing to give this a chance. The funny part is that Bianca keeps pushing them together and then when they actually are together, she's jealous. Whatever.

Speaking of Maggie, it looks to me like FauxTrey just may be Maggie's (I can't believe I'm saying this) long lost brother. FauxTrey doesn't seem interested in Maggie in a sexual kind of way, but he's always concerned about her well being. He's always willing to lend her a shoulder in a big brother kind of way. I guess this would make him Vanessa's nephew. And while I'm at it, I think Vanessa knew all along that FauxTrey wasn't the real Trey (if you recall, Adam found out that real Trey is dead and that FauxTrey assumed his identity). I think FauxTrey is up to his eyeballs in the Proteus scandal and as more than just a fake attorney for Vanessa.

OK, back to the nubies... next up, NuPetey. What a precocious kid! He's a chip off the old block and stands to give just about everyone a lot of grief! I like it, it's about time that a kid lash out at the lack of parenting he receives (mainly from Palmer, I would think Opal is a pretty attentive mom). And I'm all for anything that will give Palmer and Opal (not necessarily together) more airtime. And the actor who plays NuPetey, Mitchel Federman, is a hometown boy! Gotta love that!

NuFrank: Technically I think he's more of a newbie than a nubie since I think the last time Frank Hubbard was on AMC he was about 5 years old. But that's besides the point. So far, I like him. I guessed a long time ago that he would be the father of Mia's baby and that seems to be right. That was an easy one though. So with the addition of NuFrank into the mix, we find that there is a lot more about Mia that we don't know. I'm very interested in finding out about her "Rocky" past. There's some things that just don't add up. First of all, we know Mia gave up her son for adoption and never told the father that she was pregnant with his child. Her reasoning for this seems really lame. After a conversation between Mia and NuFrank, we learned that back when they were a couple, NuFrank hated children and was always complaining about people who have them. This is what prompted Mia to not tell him. But now, NuFrank was oohing and ahhing over the kids he sees and Mia is shocked. OK, mistakes are made from time to time but that was just plain stupid on Mia's part. How would anything have been different if she told him? She still gave up the baby she assumed he wanted no part of. And now, Mia is so freaked out that he's in town that she talked him into pretending that they never knew each other. I wonder how long they can pull that off. Not long I suspect.

Last but certainly not least, NuMateo. How do I love him, let me count the ways!! Granted, all he had to do was actually show up and I would love him more than FormerMateo. But I really do like him. He brings a new dimension to Mateo. He's a kinder gentler version. Sure, he still cuts fruit for a living and gets mad at everyone. But he comes back with sincerity. He looks at whoever he is talking to with intensity and not a hint of that smug pretension that FormerMateo had. And best of all, so far no digit of death!!!

Back to Palmer and, Petey.

Well she was jobless and broke.
Her landlord almost raped her, that evil bloke!
Running threw the park, she almost fell on her fanny.
Palmer saw her, saved her and that's how she became, the nanny!

Ok, I'm no poet. I was shooting for a take off on the theme from "The Nanny" but that will have to do! NuPetey's regular nanny had enough of his antics after he doused her with a water balloon. So, to annoy Opal, Palmer hires that she-devil, Kendall, as NuPetey's new nanny from hell. NuPetey is thrilled, he's finally got someone on his own level to play with. But later, at SOS, Erica tries to warn Palmer that Kendall is after his money. You know, you could almost see the cha-ching in Kendall's eyes if you look hard enough. Palmer tells Erica that he knows Kendall is after his money, but she amuses him and it's an added bonus that Opal hates her. To this, Erica laughs? Isn't Erica one of Opal's best gal pals? Nice.

While I'm on Erica, she gets this weeks SUPER COLOSSAL SKANK SLAP. She went to the press and completely trashed Greenlee and Leo's wedding knowing full well that Roger was murdered and Greenlee would be devastated. But hey, it's business, who cares! When did Erica become so cold that she would trash someone's reputation when they are already down? That was a pretty nasty thing to do. Kendall overheard the whole thing and proposed to Greenlee that they join forces to bring down Erica. Greenlee agreed and Erica just laughed at the silly little girls trying to play grown up, while her flunky, Chris Stamp stood idly by. Hurry back to the Valley Inn Chris!! Hurry now, Erica needs her pillow fluffed before she goes to bed.

Can I tell you how tired and bored I am with Adam and Liza? First we have Adam who realizes that Liza stole the money from Chandler Enterprises before she had a brain tumor. This means she's been plotting against him. What's the only thing you can do to retaliate if you're Adam Chandler? Why, try to drive your wife insane, of course. Adam figures out that Tad and Liza are on to him, so his next course of action is logical... logical if you're Adam Chandler that is. Adam tells Barry to have Liza committed to Oak Haven and get him full custody of Colby. Barry fights Adam, stating that the courts might become a little suspicious since he's done this before. Adam gives this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK when he says, "I've had several wives who have avoided Oak Haven completely."

Well with Barry not cooperating, what do you do in this situation if you're Adam Chandler? Of course, you set out to prove your wife is trying to kill you. Adam decides he better act quickly because Liza has decided to go on a trip, just her and Colby. Adam insists on joining them,but Liza tries to discourage him. They bond over the love they shared for about five minutes then it's back to business as usual. Adam heads outside to the garage and starts to tamper with the breaks in his convertible. He plans on taking the car out himself and getting into a wreck and framing Liza. Little does Adam know that Liza is staying about two steps ahead of him. Stuart comes in and tells her that Adam is under the car in the garage. To teach Adam a lesson when he comes back into the house, Liza casually mentions that JR came by to borrow the convertible. Adam totally freaks out, thinking JR will get into a crash. He grabs Liza and tells her that he knows she's not crazy. Oh she's crazy, and so is he and so are the writers for thinking this crap is still interesting.

In a true PASS ME THE HANDBAG moment, Anna tells David that she stopped taking birth control and may be pregnant already. That's about all I have to say, or one handbag may not be enough!

Brooke is completely wigging! She goes back to Nevada and finds "Maria" and confronts her. Maria is just as freaked out as Brooke, only for different reasons. Brooke knows she is Maria, but Maria doesn't know Brooke at all or anything she's talking about. She feels that Brooke is stalking her and in essence, Brooke is. Maria tells her to back the hell off already. She really does think she's Maureen Gorman. Then in a really amazing, surprising and the coolest twist I've seen in ages, and this weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK, Maria calls David for help! She knows him, he knows her and he knows that Tad and Brooke went to search for her. Oh just when you think David has lost that sinister edge, it comes back in full force! I find this incredibly interesting. How could David know Maria? How could he have found her and kept her from Pine Valley? How are they connected? What is the story here! Oh I love when I don't know. I don't get to not know too often. This one even surprised me! David has to know who Maria is, although he didn't come into the scene until after she was gone. But he's been to the Crystal Ball every year since he's been in Pine Valley and there is a huge picture of Maria at the entrance every year. You can't tell me he doesn't know who Maria Santos Grey is. But why is he keeping her from her family? Oh... I'm all a twitter with the possibilities!

Tad arrives in Nevada to try and convince Brooke that she's wait, that's Adam's MO. Tad just wants to make Brooke realize that it's impossible for Maria to be alive. Says who Tad? Didn't you return from the dead yourself? Dimitri returned from the dead twice. Cremated Mike Roy even returned from the dead and I fully expect Dixie to some day show up alive someday too! Tad decides to go talk to Maureen himself so he can convince Brooke she's not Maria. But when Tad finds Maureen, she's really not Maria. Maria had her friend pose as her, and even show Tad identification stating she's Maureen Gorman. Tad knows immediately that she's not Maria and when he gets back to the hotel room, he tells Brooke that without a doubt the woman he spoke to is not Maria.

Brooke is really starting to come unglued. She realizes that maybe Tad talked to the woman who looked like Maria, not Maria. But she decides to just go on with her life and her plans to marry Edmund. She's sick of being Mrs. Nice Guy and wants the happy ending for herself for a change. She vows to let it go. In the meantime, Edmund went to Anna for help in finding out what Brooke is doing in Nevada. David is very hot under the collar about this and doesn't want Anna to help Edmund. Anna blows him off and helps Edmund. Edmund flies off to Nevada again... hey, how many times have they all gone to and from Nevada in one day? Three? Four? More?? Pine Valley must be a hub.

Edmund is upset to find Brooke yet again, in Nevada. Tad isn't around but he knows he was there. Brooke decides to come clean with Edmund and tells him that she went looking for Maria. She tells him about all the clues that lead her to believe that Maria might still be alive. In the meantime, Maria has a flashback and hears Brooke's voice saying "I'll come back for you" which is what Brooke told her after she saved Maddie from the plane crash. Edmund is very interested in knowing if Brooke actually found Maria. Brooke lies to Edmund and herself and tells him that she did not find Maria. But soon enough everyone will know, as we see Maria get off a plane in Pine Valley.

I'm pretty disgusted with how everyone is treating Simone. Greenlee I can almost forgive, almost. But no one else, especially her own father! Zeke is cold as ice and treats Simone like a piece of gum that is stuck to the bottom of his shoe. No wonder she was banging Roger. She needed someone and Roger at least pretended to care about her. And what about Tad? Tad gets in Simone's face because he kissed Brooke? How is that Simone's fault Tad? She was looking out for her friend Edmund and you should never have been kissing Brooke to begin with. Tad was WAY out of line. And then you have Mary, who is constantly sniping and berating Simone. Well hey people, I happen to like Simone! I think she's spunky, gorgeous, and has a killer voice. I think maybe Dr. NuFrank might be eying her up himself! But back to Greenlee... she won't even listen to Simone's apology. She won't listen to her side. I find this a little odd because Greenlee of all people should know that Roger is money hungry and not to be trusted. But she'd rather believe that Simone used Roger to write the book on Proteus. It makes no sense. Maybe those credit card bills of Greenlee's that Roger charged everything he ever bought for Simone to will be a clue and help Greenlee realize that her father was really a smarmy letch. But for now, Simone has lost her best friend, her lover, her apartment (Greens evicted her) and her job. Things are not looking good for Simone!

Side note, I certainly hope AMC is planning on keeping on Anna Stuart as Mary Smythe! She's terrific!!!!

Trey is really at the end of his rope with Vanessa. He wants to know where the Proteus millions are hidden and he wants to know NOW! He thinks Vanessa is pretending to be comatose so he threatens her by putting a pillow over her face, thinking she'd fess up if she was close to death. Well, the stupidest doctor in all the land, Dr. Dumbass, comes in just in time to see Trey trying to smother Vanessa. He asks him what he's doing and Trey says he's fluffing up her pillows. Dr. Dumbass believes him!

As Leo and Greenlee return to Pine Valley from their honeymoon in NYC (watch Aug. 29 to see the honeymoon scenes in a remote shoot from NYC via flashbacks), Anna is at the airport to take Leo into custody yet again so Jack can question him. Once there, Jack admits that he doesn't think Leo is a bad guy and wants to help him. They need to get that money. Leo doesn't know where it is and confides to Jack that he has prayed many times for his mother to die. Just then, Anna comes in to tell them they need to get to the hospital right away.

Back at the hospital, Vanessa has a seizure and loses her heartbeat. The trauma team comes in to work on her, but Dr. Dumbass declares Vanessa dead. Once Leo arrives, Dr. Dumbass tells him they tried to save her, to no avail, and that she was gone. Leo's anguish is incredible! He urges David to try and save her. The mixed emotion is heartbreaking. He wanted her out of his life, but he loved her too. As Leo goes to say good bye to her, the tears just pour from his eyes. It's amazing and brilliant and Leo gets this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award. You all know I'm a sucker for real tears and Josh Duhamel has got to be one of the best male criers ever! David and Leo have a bonding moment with the mother they shared. And as Leo goes to kiss her good bye on her forehead, she opens her eyes!! Leo freaks out and does an "Oh my God, I'm freaking out" dance in the corner of the hospital room. Dr. Dumbass was wrong, she wasn't dead after all. I think that doctor needs to be suspended if he doesn't know the difference between alive and dead.

This weeks AMC gets a B- It's working it's way back and the Maria thing is really keeping me on my toes!