The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998



April 5, 1999

Hi all!!! I'm back, finally! The settling in is coming along, I'm happy to say, but I think the trash men here are really going to start hating us! Every week we have about 10 bags of trash. Oh and sorry for the delay this week but you did not want to know me on Monday! I had a bad bout with the stomach flu and felt like death! Now that I'm feeling better ... ON WITH THE SHOW!!!

Last week we had Braden's 11th hour confession just as Ryan was about to be sentenced to 10 years in prison and all hell breaks loose in the courtroom. Braden insists that he and Miss Kitty had consensual sex, and as he's telling his story, Miss Kitty finally puts all the pieces together and realizes that it was Braden, not Ryan, all along. What pissed me off about Braden's story was that he watched the whole thing between Ryan and Miss Kitty that night at the Pit and he never said a word to Ryan, his brother, that he hadn't seen in years. And then it took how many months for him to realize that Ryan was being charged with rape?

So let's take a look at the aftermath of Braden's confession after court is adjourned for that day so that they can get a sample of Braden's DNA. Gillian tells Braden off good! And gave him the slap I planned on giving him anyway. Mateo apologized to Hayley for yet again not believing in her, and Hayley lets him off the hook, again. GAG! Dimitri gets all smug with Jackass and Edmund and tells him that he found Kit at the Pit and gave her a load of money to leave town and since no one can find her, that is probably exactly what she did. Jackass runs out to try and find his beloved Chrissy. Ed still believes Kit was raped, but is not sure that it was Ryan. Then Ed says to Dim, "Why do you believe this Braden stranger all of a sudden?" EXCUSE ME???

Oh oh oh, I can't stand these stupid hypocritical men! Ed has some nerve questioning why Dim, or anyone else for that matter, would believe Braden when he immediately jumped on the Miss Kitty bandwagon, no questions asked, and wrote Ryan off!! And if Braden wasn't a total shoe in for the SLAP this week, Eddie would have gotten it for that stupid question! Luckily for him, Dimitri saved the day when he came back at Ed with this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK, "Kit Montgomery is pure tramp trash!" YOU GO DIM!!! Jack comes back with Miss Kitty's scarf, but no Miss Kitty. Jackass and Eddie are both appalled by Dim's lack of concern and when Dim tells Jack that he paid her off, Jack, of course, goes ballistic and punches Dimmie right in the gut. Personally I think Dim should press assault charges against the DA. But even though he didn't, I'm going to give Dim this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award because he's just the coolest!

Over at Cortlandt Manor, Palmer has cleaned Opal out of everything that had any value in that house. But Opal laid in wait for him with one of his precious antique guns. When he got there, they had words, Palmer was creep and then Opal spilled the beans about how his right hand man was actually the man who raped Kit, not Ryan. Palmer ran straight over to the courtroom and fired Braden on the spot for violating the morality clause in his contract. Braden, who now is going so psycho that it's actually enjoyable, threatened PC. Palmer had the best reaction to that, like oooh big man, you frighten me... NOT!

Dim continues to taunt Ed and Jack about what a loser Miss Kitty is, how she lied and snowed them both. Hayley then jumps in and helps, while Pearly Whites looks on uncomfortably. Court is called back in, the DNA results are back. That took all of, what? 20 minutes? It's amazing how in real life you have to wait weeks for such a result. So, the news is what we all knew all along, Braden's DNA is a 100% match with the stain from Miss Kitty's dress. Belinda moves to have all the charges against Ryan dropped. Jack, of course, goes ballistic. He objects and says that Ryan confessed. The Judge overrules him and Ryan is a free man! Braden wants Trevor to defend him, but, Braden isn't arrested. This is what I don't get... supposedly there isn't enough evidence to arrest him. Even though they have Miss Kitty's realizing she was wrong, a 100% DNA match, Braden admitting it. They arrested Ryan with less evidence than that!

So, with no arrest Jack, of course, goes ballistic. I swear, the guy needs to take a valium or something. He has one question for Braden, did he ever hear Kit say the word "no." To which Braden replies, "Of course, they all do." Jack attacks Braden then, and everyone realizes that Kit was really raped after all. It's a pretty big revelation for Dim, Tad, Dixie, Hayley and Gillian especially. Ryan is shocked by his brother's warped logic. Braden is shocked that no one is siding with him. He's confused because, as he put it, the woman saying no is the best part! What a loser! Braden gets this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award. This guy is supposed to be so smart and business savvy but he sure doesn't know the first thing about women. I guess we were supposed to think that poetry makes him the "sensitive" type, not capable of raping a woman. Yeah right, once this guy starts baring his fangs, all bets are off. I have to admit though, once they let him go psycho and flex his acting muscles, he's been pretty entertaining. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sorry to see him go, but I really love watching a character unravel.

So Pearly Whites, er, Mateo, is humbled and apologizes to Ryan for as he and Hayley go congratulate him on being set free. I can't wait to see the rest of these morons apologize to Ryan. It'll be interesting to see Dim and Hayley try to apologize to Kit too. We already got to see Tad apologize to Kit when he found her at the Boathouse. He tells her that everyone believes that she was raped, even him. He told her what happened in court and that Braden admitted that she said no. Kit is shocked, and asks Tad if everyone includes Dimitri and tells him that he threw money at her and told her to leave town. Tad gave a pretty good line then, "What do you expect, he's a count, he doesn't have any manners." I'm giving this scene, SCENE OF THE WEEK. Just then Edmund arrives, ending the scene of the week abruptly. He tries to talk Kit into returning to Wildwind.

I guess it's a little weird, to have loved how Dim treated Kit and taunted Ed and Jack when we knew all along that Kit was really raped. But Dim's reactions were so great, and his acting was so fab. That even though I knew he was wrong, he just made it enjoyable. That doesn't by any means mean I condone what happened to Kit or that I think she deserved anything. Dim believed that this woman barged into his family and took them all for a ride, now that he knows he was wrong, I bet he is equally as great to watch.

So, while Tad is making up with Miss Kitty, Braden shows up at Adam's to talk to Dixie. Of course, no one is home. He's hoping to talk to his only friend and get some support. Unfortunately Dixie isn't giving him any. She tells him that when a woman says no, that is exactly what she means. Braden doesn't understand that at all, and says that when a woman says no, she really means yes. At this point, Braden is looking more and more like a total nutball. And when Dixie tells him that she and Tad went to Iowa to get some background info on him and found out he was Ryan's brother, Braden was not happy at all. Things get a bit hairy and Braden really starts to scare Dixie!

Back at the courtroom, Ryan is distraught about how whacko his brother is. Gillian is there to comfort him and it's looking good for these two. They talk and embrace and Gilly wants to take him back to Myrtle's, he can even have his own room. But Ryan isn't ready to go back just yet. He needs to find his brother, he wants to help him. Gilly understands. I'm looking forward to more of these two finding their way back to each other, I just love them!

OK, on to other stuff. In their bedroom, Mateo and Hayley are talking about getting away for a little while and when Hayley says something like, when we come back, maybe Kit and Raquel will have disappeared! Well, Max was playing hide and seek with his mommy and had been hiding under Hayley and Mateo's bed and heard Hayley say this. He got really upset and ran out of the room to his mommy. Mateo and Raquel go try to calm Max down, and Hayley goes out to buy Max a toy. When she comes back, she has a great scene with Dim where she tells him what happened. He tells her not to be so hard on herself, and that Max will come around. And if she wants, since he paid off Kit to leave town, just say the word and he'll pay off Raquel too! So Mateo tries to tell Max that Hayley didn't mean what she said, and when Hayley comes back, Max still rejects her. Raquel talks to Max and convinces him that it'll be OK when he moves with his Daddy and Hayley and that she will not be far away. It's looking like Raquel is starting to wear down and maybe actually give up, but don't be tricked! I can't help but think of that phone call she made a while back when she told someone that "the plans have changed." Just what was that all about and were we just supposed to forget that that ever even happened??

Dixie and Tad played a little game on Palmer. A kind of, this is how life will be for you if you aren't fair to Opal. They told him that no one will have anything to do with him anymore if he doesn't abide by the divorce agreement and give Opal half of everything and custody of Petey. And by no one they mean Dixie, Junior, Lanie, Nina... everyone he loves. PC didn't believe her and called Nina on the phone to find out if she really was in on this. Nina told Palmer that she was, and that he should do right by Opal. Well, Lovebug was none too pleased about this but gave in anyway. Then he told Dixie to take a hike, he doesn't need her or anyone else for that matter. Dixie was shocked, her plan worked and backfired at the same time. So now what will become of Palmer?? Maybe he should hook up with Vanessa!

Dr. Jake is hell bent on being daddy. This still really annoys me because the one and only reason for it is that Adam and Liza are remarrying. Before that, he was happily uninvolved. Sure, Adam will never win the father of the year award, but what's it to Jake? So much for it merely being a clinical procedure huh Jake? And why is Jake so surprised to see Adam in a robe at Liza's loft? They are getting married for goodness sakes. Jake then tells them about a job offer her got in LA but is not talking. Adam is shocked that he said no. Before he leaves, he tells them he'll get a DNA test to prove paternity if that's what it takes. After Jake is gone, Liza calls Adam on buying Jake a job offer. He first denies it, then does admit that he did it. Liza tells him it was a brilliant idea and wishes she had thought of it. That kind of annoyed me. Buying someone off, someone who she still calls one of her best friends, does not seem like her style at all.

Later, Liza and Adam go to see Jake in his office and Liza tries to appeal to him as a friend. Jake is having none of it though and tells her that he will get the DNA results matched this week because her amnio is still on file. Adam is really starting to get nervous. Jake leaves and Liza gets a phone call. Adam starts to daydream about telling Liza the truth and it quickly turns into a daymare as he envisions the exact reaction I'm hoping for Liza to have. Once Adam snaps out of it, he tries to talk Liza into giving in and letting Jake be the father on the birth certificate. Now I'm wondering if this secret will ever be revealed or it's going to be one of those things where, Liza has the baby and she develops some kind of illness where she needs a blood transfusion or some such thing and because Jake isn't a match, they find out he's not the father then. *yawn*

When Jake goes to the lab to get Liza's amnio fluid, the lab tech tells him that they don't have it. It's not on file. Jake is confused and they try to find out just what had happened to it. A little while later, lab boy tells Jake that some mad scientist, uh... doctor took the sample. Someone by the name of Hayward. Ah ha, this is getting good. The Docs Martin (not to be confused with the shoes) confront Doc Hayward with what they know about him and Liza's amnio sample, which isn't much, just that he took it. Then, just as David is about to tell them why he has it, Liza and Adam walk in and Liza is very interested in hearing about it. Adam on the other hand, he'd rather leave and let the Martin's take care of David. Gee Adam, don't be too obvious! David invites everyone to his office to explain what he is doing with Liza's amnio sample and he had the most priceless evil smug grin on his face. Oh, it was beautiful. Once in David's office, David explains this study he is doing on unborn babies cardio activity, or something like that. Whatever it was, everyone bought it and David covered his tracks very well. Of course Dr. Joe had to have a chat with him about hospital protocol and procedure and I can't help but wonder why Joe never had that talk with his own son!

Erica told anyone and everyone off this week. She is mad at all her friends for keeping the truth from her, all but Vanessa that is. So once she threw everyone out, she tells Vanessa to stay. David isn't too happy about that, he does not want his mother anywhere near Erica. He drags her out of Erica's room only minutes later. Once she finally leaves Erica has some words for David too. She tells him that he ruined her life, life as she knew it. She got to him, you could really see it in his face. Of course, just then there was a Presidential interruption and I missed the best part of that I'm sure. But at any rate, Erica finally broke down and cried. That is something she has needed to do since all this happened.

That brings me to the fabulous Adrian and Belinda scenes this week. After a grueling day in court, Belinda arrives home to find an apron clad Adrian making her a sumptuous dinner and then he runs her a bubble bath. After she's out, he feeds her dinner and I begin to live vicariously through them. Oh if only I had an Adrian of my own. *** dream sequence *** Adrian: "Kathy, you have had such a strenuous few weeks with moving and all, that I decided to come here and make you this fabulous dinner" Me: "Oh Adrian, what did I do to deserve such fine treatment from such a fine man" Adrian: "You're just you my love" Me: "KISS ME!!" Whoa, the rest is not for your eyes people! I'm off to my fantasy... see ya next week!