The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


April 20, 1998

I wish I could like this Mike Roy stuff. I really do. I always loved the character Mike Roy. But I'm sorry, he was killed!!! Now, I know in soaps people come back from the dead all the time, but this was different. We saw him die. He was not presumed dead, like Maria or Tad. He was dead, dead as a doornail! To me, it's an insult to the viewers intelligence to bring back a character this way. Why was Mike chosen for this government job? Did he do such an amazing job on "Raising Kane" that the government thought he'd be a perfect spy? And being done with the job after one month, why would Erica's involvement with Jeremy stop him from returning? If her being in love with someone else was such a hinderance, why did he come back now when she's in love with Jack? Why would she hide him in her house, hiding him from the man she loves? And then protect him again by hiring Faux Axel as her stalker? And how is poor Faux Axel going to get out of this? And Erica... why is she so easy to fall back into his arms after 13 years? OK, all that aside... Nicholas Surovy is looking damn good, and I've always loved his portrayal of Mike. I love how he gives it to Erica, never backing down from her. Not many of her men have done that... but some have, to a degree. But Mike, he's never bought into her "Because I'm Erica Kane" act. I got a laugh when he was telling her how he came back for her but she was already involved with the no longer celibate Jeremy. He said, "Only you can turn a monastery into a singles haunt! Send you off to scatter my ashes and you seduce a holy man!" So really, my only problem with all this is HE'S DEAD!!!! So this weeks I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award goes to whoever had the bright idea to bring back Mike Roy. And from what I read, that slap goes to the former executive producer of AMC, Francesca James!

Bye bye Mr. Jim. Now he's dead. I saw him die, you saw him die. Will we see him again someday? I won't be at all surprised by it now. Poor Brooke, she's got premeditation going against her. She's being a little delusional thinking that he was a bad guy so bang bang I killed him to save the world. She did do just that, but well, that's not how the law works. David Forsyth (Jim) proved himself to be a slimeball in the end (although I still think Roscoe Born was fabulous). And of course, as I said, we learned that it was Jim who killed Laura's mother, in addition to all the other stuff we already knew he did. And Jim gets this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK which is also the best last line I have ever heard from a departing character. Brooke shot Jim in the back and he turned around and said, "You bitch," very calmly. That was great! I loved it. What a send off!!

Although I think this story would have played out great as a whodunit. I liked how Brooke confronted him with his pornography, but wouldn't it have been great if she really did plan a big showing and filled the gallery with people who he has hurt in one way or another and then revealed him to be the pornographer? What could he have done in a room full of people?? Then when he runs out, someone confronts him outside and shoots him? Well, no sense in wishing now, what's done is done.

Now all of a sudden Jack has an Assistant DA, and this guy is not going to have any bias in this case like Jack would. That's a good thing. And it's also a good thing that Jack removed himself off this case. Although I would think if he was going to remove himself off a case it would have been Erica's. But that is neither here nor there at this point, and evidently he learned something from that. It looks to me like Dimitri and Brooke are going to grow close through all of this... but from what I hear, this may not develop into a romance, but just a friendship. I like this idea. Dimitri needs another good friend since Gloho left town. Dim did say something strange during Brooke's statement though. Jack asked why no one ever called the police and Dim told Jack that his cell phone broke in his scuffle with Jim. Which proved to be correct when he was in the viaduct with Edmund and he tried to call for help. But then, once out of the viaduct, he was able to use that very phone to get his messages. I guess it wasn't actually broken, but just wouldn't work in the cave huh? And good going Tad! Coming to the rescue of his friend Edmund, who he really hasn't seen much of since the two of them went to Hungary to bring Maddie back.

Once again I was loving Liza this week. Her little speech about how all the women were dynamic and wonderful, and didn't need a man for happiness was great!! I just wish soaps would go by that more often. Sure I love romance as much as the next guy, but I also don't believe a woman needs a man to be happy. No offense guys, it's just that each person is responsible for his/her own happiness. I loved that whole scene with Liza, Kelsey, Marian, Belinda and Opal. There was Liza trying to tell Kelsey that if Scott didn't want her than so what, you don't need him. And Marian says, "She's right darling, men are highly overrated. I mean they're nice to have around, but they're not essential to one's happiness. I can't believe I just said that!" That was so funny!! YOU GO GIRLS!!!

This week Mateo came out of his coma and I fell into one. I fall into a coma whenever he's on the screen. Oh I just loved it so much when he was unconscious. But you know what they say, all good things must come to an end. So he's awake, and he's talking and he can't remember his dreams. But soon he will realize that his vision of Brooke shooting Jim is exactly how it happened. So eventually he will come to realize that maybe all his other visions might be true too. So it's AMC's answer to Jean Dixon, Frederick to the rescue. Remember Frederick? He's a Santos family friend. The one that Maria brought to the lake to see if her "son" had drowned. And speaking of the Santos family, why on earth hasn't anyone bothered to call Isabella to tell her that her son came out of his coma after 2 months??

This weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK goes to Faux Axel. How much have I grown to love this guy?!! He's just so funny. I loved his little dance scene with Amanda, I love how he calls Janet, Peach (and then Trevor did too after he heard Axel say it), I love how he is no longer wearing that awful looking toupee. I am confused though, as to why he would agree to be hired on as Erica's stalker. I know that now Trevor knows he's really an actor, but Janet doesn't know that Trevor knows. Won't it look a little strange that he's arrested for stalking Erica when he's supposed to be in love with Janet? I really am liking this storyline, all except for one BIG thing. When all is said and done, it means that Trevor and Janet will be together. Coming in May we have another visit from ghostly Natalie. Her last visit was so great, that I am actually welcoming the ghost. She'll let Janet off the hook of her promise, and TA DA!! Janet and Trev will be free to get married. Oh well, can't win 'em all.

Applause applause to AMC for taking my advice for a ratings winner and keeping Ryan shirtless as much as possible! I had to just zone out of the sound for his love scenes with Gillian though, talk about boring chatter! The dialogue between these two is so annoying, but then again who cares!! These scenes are definitely not fast forwardable if you want to get any kind of peak at Ryan's awesome abs! So mute it if you must, I do! Coming soon, Ryan will tell Gillian he's not really rich, but will she tell him she's not either? Will it matter to either of them? I kind of suspect that it won't. They will live on love! And Ryan's salary at WRCW. I really want to see Gilly trying to wait tables at Holidays! Everyone ends up working there and she'd be working alongside her good bud, Kelsey! What fun!


Esther, I think that you must have found Bobby Martin and his ski's by now, please come out of the attic now!!!!