The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


April 17, 2000

I don't know whether to cheer or to be repulsed by Nessie's affair with Paolo. On the one hand, Ness is an older woman, and it's pretty damn cool that AMC is showing her as vibrant and well...horny. On the other hand, it's with Paolo, ewww!!! Nessie goes to Paolo looking to fill some kind of void. The way she was begging Paolo to tell her he loves her reminded me very much of Gillian's affair with David. But the difference here is that Nessie is not only looking for someone to love her, she's also majorly freaking out because her world is crashing down around her. Palmer is sick of her and her brood, David hates her, and Leo... well he loves her but PC doesn't like him so she's trying to keep her distance. She's freaking out so much that I'm getting worried that she's going to huff and puff and blow the Valley Inn down.

At the most inopportune time, Erica knocks on Paolo's door. Now, if you recall from last week, Erica told him that while he's under her employ, he will see no other women. So Nessie ducks out the adjoining room door in her robe, and well well well... PC spots her. Oh my the panic is really setting in now. Palmer asks her what in blazes she is doing in her robe in the hallway. Nessie sputters and stammers her way into some really lame explanation that there is no hot water in the room. PC is no dummy, he's not buying it.

Paolo answers his door in nothing but a sheet. Allow me to digress for one moment...nice bod Paolo! Erica is a little bit pissy about Paolo's extracurricular activities and when he goes to answer the phone, Erica spots and emerald on his bed and says to herself... "where have I seen this before." Here's a tip Erica, you probably have several of them in your own jewelry box. Erica gives Paolo another warning to lay off his other affairs then takes off. Paolo gets a call from Rick, the drug dealer and we have another murder suspect. But I maintain that I think that Vanessa will kill Paolo, either accidentally, in self defense or the even more believable, temporary insanity defense but it will be Leo who gets the blame and goes to jail. How about I further the prediction? I think that Becca will stand by him, causing an even bigger rift between her and Scott.

I was thinking about it and you know, I'm almost sorry to see Paolo go. It's kind of nice to have a sleazeball around that isn't Adam. And besides that, I could just see Paolo and Arlene hooking up and causing major mayhem in Pine Valley. They could be a really amazing, and lusty, team. Ahhh missed opportunities.

So anyway, Becca comes home, evidently to Tad and Dixie's house and finds Leo on her bed. I guess Tad, Dixie, Junior, Jamie... none of them are home because I sure can't see any of them letting Leo hang out in her bedroom. And that brings up the did he get in anyway? For once Leo's not looking to score, well maybe, but he needs a friend more. He tells Becca that he quit Cortlandt Electronics, tells her about Paolo coming after him for money and basically he needs a sympathetic ear. She listens and cares, but when Scott calls Leo hears her tell him that she and Leo are just friends and he takes off. And who should he run into, Paolo. He's desperate and hits Leo up again for money and/or drugs. I wonder where that big old hefty check Erica gave him went to already.

Leo goes to see Nessie and again appeals to her for money to get him out of this tight spot with Paolo. But Nessie isn't budging, she can't get him the money, Palmer is already suspicious, although you'd never know that after he shows her the plans to their new dream home. After Palmer leaves Nessie and Leo alone, she tells Leo that Palmer is getting impatient with him and she needs to step back for a little while to secure their future. Leo and Nessie talk while sitting on the exact same (although a different color) ugly sofa that's at Wildwind, and Leo accuses her of having an affair. He notices a few things... like her special "I'm having an affair" perfume and her special "I'm having an affair" earrings that she got from, get this, her first director at MGM who promised to make her a star. Who? Eric Kane maybe? He also notices that a stone is missing from her special earrings. Guess what she does next? She panics! And she races down to Paolo's room to try and find the emerald. While she's there she tells him that it's getting too dangerous and the affair has to end. Paolo is having none of that, he's expecting Nessie to be his gravy train. He reminds her about their glorious time in Rome when they first met. Ahh interesting, they knew each other before Pine Valley. I don't know if it's a clue to anything, but I found it interesting anyway.

Later, back at Tad's house, Scott arrives with a big load of balloons for Becca and she shrieks, "Leo! What are you doing!" when she sees them. Oops! It's really Scott. That didn't sit too well, but he gets over it and tells her that he trusts her, even though she won't tell him why she is seeing Leo. But later, when he sees Becca and Leo talking, he gets that old familiar pang of jealousy. They argue and Leo practically reads my mind and tells Scott exactly what I think of him, he's as exciting as muzak.

Liza tells Marian that the plan is about to come to its climax and it would be best if Stuart were not around. So, Marian goes home and packs a bag for Stuart and sends him off to an art show in St. Louis. She's really feeling guilty about lying to Stuart, but she knows it's for the best.

Yadda yadda yadda... Dixie is pissed off at Tad for being so obsessed about getting even with Adam. Tad tries to explain why he's so obsessed. Neither of them get it.

Adam arrives back home with a surprise for Liza. He named Jake and Gillian as Colby's legal guardians in case something happens to both of them. He tells Liza that he is trying to be the man she wants him to be, and he's starting by reaching out to Jake. He tells her he realizes that Jake loves Colby and he's feeling bad about the devastation he caused him. Oh, this is a big curve ball thrown at Liza. Now she's starting to waver. Damn that woman is easily taken in by Adam's "I promise to change" pleas. So for incentive, she watches Leo confess to his involvement in setting up Marian, and how Adam ordered him to do it. And then, of course, Tad shows up and is out for blood so he won't let her back down from the plan. Tad reminds her what a snake Adam is and all the awful things he's done and Liza agrees to go through with it. Gee Tad, maybe Dixie is right, you are obsessed.

Liza tells Adam that she called a board meeting so that Stuart could tell the board that it was he who signed all the checks and gave away a bunch of Adam's money. Tad gets to the meeting first and talks up Adam's mental state while Liza and Adam search for Stuart. Since they can't find him, Liza talks Adam into playing Stuart in the meeting so they don't have to reschedule it. He can just tell them, as Stuart, that he signed away Adam's money. Adam gives in and agrees to do it. So while Tad is going on and on about how Adam has threatened him and his family, Adam falls right into Liza's trap and becomes Stuart and goes into the board meeting.

Dixie decides to find out exactly what is going on, and heads over to the Gatehouse. Stuart isn't home though so she asks Marian what is going on. Marian tells Dixie that she always blames everything on Liza, but it's Tad who is obsessed with ruining Adam, it's Tad who is out for blood, and it's Tad who talked Liza into continuing this dangerous game. Dixie isn't very shocked by this. Dixie goes home and Junior comes to her and tells her that he feels guilty for telling the judge at Colby's custody hearing that he's afraid of his dad. He asks Dixie if it's ok that he love Adam, and wants to spend more time with him. Good timing kiddo.

Back at the board meeting, Tad is pretending to go along with Adam's impersonation of Stuart and as he explains how he signed Adam's name to the checks, Liza goes over to him and tells him she cannot watch him do this anymore. She tells the board that it's not Stuart at all, but it's really Adam. Putting on one heck of a show herself, Liza tells the board that Adam pretends to be Stuart all the time and that he has completely lost his mind, then she runs from the room crying. You can almost see the smoke coming out of Adam's ears! He doesn't know what to do so he attacks Tad, right there in the board meeting in front of all his board members. Liza comes back in with the men in white, and they grab Adam and restrain him. Liza informs him, with his doctor standing right there, that she fears he is a danger to himself and to her and Colby, and she is having him committed. A shocked Adam gets dragged out of the board room.

The aftermath hits Pine Valley like a ton of bricks the next day as the news hits the papers. Liza is pretty rattled by the whole thing and didn't expect it to be leaked to the media so quickly. Well duh Liza. Marian is worried that Stuart will read about it before they can tell him so Liza tells Marian to just tell Stuart that Adam had a nervous breakdown. Marian replies with this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK, "Darling, Adam causes nervous breakdowns, he doesn't have them." Junior sees the news on TV about Adam and totally freaks out. For some unknown reason, Tad never thought how it would effect Junior, Adam's son, to hear that he's been hauled off to the goony roost. Well no, that's not entirely true, Tad did think about it, but he just thought everyone would cheer him on. Tad seemed to think that everyone felt how he felt, even Adam's children. Does he have some regrets now? And just how is Tad going to feel next week when Stuart disappears? And what about Jamie being upset with you, you never thought that would happen did ya Tad? I think Tad's obsessive behavior calls for another I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award. Take a pill Tad. Hayley is plenty ticked too and goes to see Liza. She really tells her off, but then she calms down once Liza tells her that Adam switched the sperm. See she didn't know that. Adam did tell her that Colby was his daughter, but he conveniently left out the sperm switch part. Still, she's not at all pleased with the revenge plot and tells Liza she needs to grow up. AMC, you missed an opportunity here... Skye is in Llanview, shouldn't she have called someone or come to Pine Valley to see what was up with her father?

Stuart, having come back from his trip early, decides to drop off a painting at Adam's. Winifred races in and tells him how glad she is that he's been let out, but then realizes he's not Adam, but is Stuart. She tells him that Adam was committed the night before. Stuart races over to Tad's to ask him for help in getting Adam out of the loony bin. Wrong person to ask Stuart, since Tad was instrumental in putting him there, and Tad tells him just that. Stuart is really upset, so Tad breaks his promise to both Liza and Marian and tells Stuart what Adam did. Stuart doesn't believe it, but Tad shows him the tape of Leo confessing. Confronted with the awful truth of his own brothers deception, Stuart starts to think back and put things together. He then races to Oakhaven to talk to Adam.

Adam, in the meantime, is talking to Dr. Benton and tries to give him his version of just how this whole thing came down. Dr. Benton humors him and that really pisses Adam off so he pulls out the crazy act. He tells the doctor that aliens are after him, then turns back into Adam and tells the doc that he thinks he's after publicity and money for holding Adam Chandler in the funny farm. So, Adam offers him a million dollars to release him. The doc isn't going for it though. Just then Stuart bursts in. Oddly enough, the doctor lets them have a few moments of privacy. Yeah, that would happen. But I'm glad he did because this was some of the most amazing acting by David Canary I have ever seen and win's him this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award. Stuart once again confronts Adam and asks him if he set up Marian. Adam is somewhat impatient with this line of questioning and still maintains he had nothing to do with it. Stuart then tells Adam that he saw Leo's confession on videotape and he said that Adam made him do it, Adam continues to lie. Racked with emotion, Stuart begs Adam to tell him the truth, and weeping.. both Adam and Stuart, Adam finally admits what he did. Wow, so powerful and this weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK. I am not exaggerating when I say I was truly in awe and on the edge of my seat watching this unfold. If David Canary doesn't win an Emmy next year for that scene, then something is very seriously wrong.

MEANINGLESS DRIVEL OF THE WEEK - Hayley and Mateo playing hangman during a busy night at SOS. I love how you cater to your customers Mateo. And how about that icky display when he wins? He laughs that sickening laugh of his and says... "here's little Hayley, hanging from a rope." Oh you may think I'm overreacting to that comment, but to me it's that evil mean creep surfacing. He's no nice guy. In fact, I think he can snap at any moment. Just let Hayley step out of line and we'll see the evil Assholeo back in action.

Hey, Brooke is finally back from China. And is she shocked to see that Arlene is there. She's immediately suspicious, but Janet defends her. Amanda discovers that Arlene is gone and blames Hayley. But Janet calls Hayley and she comes over to explain that no matter what she did or said, she couldn't make Arlene leave. And just when you think it can't get any more bizarre, a little boy and his mom show up at the Dillon's. Seems this kid has quite a shiner on his eye and our sweet little Amanda gave it to him. I have a couple of issues with this, 1) what little boy is going to admit that he was beaten up by a girl, and b) how did she do it without breaking a nail? Janet tells the mom she'll take care of it, but the mom is a bit pissy and tells them she's going to report Amanda to the principal. Nice, embarrass your son some more you old hag. When Janet talks to Amanda about what she did, Amanda tells her that Trevor told her to hurt first before you get hurt. Janet is shocked and realizes that something has to be done about Amanda.

Proving himself to be Mr. Popularity, Ryan asks Adrian to be his technical advisor on his new internet business, That Adrian, he's a man of many talents and many jobs. Everyone wants his help. And you know, with all that popularity, you'd think he'd be on more! Anyone listening??? Ok, pitch to AMC over... for now. Adrian really isn't interested in Ryan's venture and doesn't want to make money off people's dreams. Ahh, a man of integrity. I'd lapse into my own incredible dream about Adrian right now but Tina beat me too it. Looking at Adrian all moony-eyed, Tina dreams of being stranded on a desert island, with nothing but Adrian to keep her company. Oh yummy... I can get into that one! And Tramplee, also looking moony-eyed, but at Ryan, not Adrian, visualizes herself on top of a piano in nothing but a fur and diamonds, singing "You Made Me Love You" to Ryan. That girl has some guts! Bravo to Rebecca Budig for doing that scene! I'm sure it wasn't easy. Now I can understand the two women getting all gushy and fantasizing while Adrian and Ryan are talking business, but just how does Ryan get away with daydreaming about Gillian doing a sexy dance for him while he's talking to Adrian?

Oh and last and certainly least, the never ending saga of is she Anna? Is she Alex? Why do we care? Edmund and Alex go to Wales to the mental hospital that Alex was in to talk to her doctor face to face. Ed walks into the place full of attitude and demands to see Dr. Griffith. He's all attitude and tries to intimidate the doctor into giving them her records. Well the doc isn't falling for it, and that's because Guy is in his office pulling his strings and telling him what to do. How did Guy get there before them anyway? And as if we didn't have enough clues to Alex really being Anna, a maid at the hospital spots her and mumbles "goodbye Anna" as she's walking out the door. Well that about seals the deal. *yawn* You know AMC, we don't need to be beat over the head with this. She's Anna, we get it. Why you think we all care about this is beyond me. I'm sure some do, but I'm also sure some don't cuz I happen to be one of them. One last thing... did anyone notice that the cottage in Bristol, Alex's mother's home, looks an awful lot like the Hunting Lodge?

This weeks AMC gets an A- Can you believe that grade!? There have definitely been lots of improvements, but this week's grade can directly be attributed to the outstanding work of David Canary.