The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998


April 10, 2000

The article about Hayley appeared in the paper this week... not the Bulletin or the Intruder. It wasn't the Wall Street Herald and it wasn't Vanity Day. Just what paper was that anyway? Whatever it was, Hayley is plenty pissed off at that slanderous article. Oh wait a minute, slander would mean that it wasn't true, and actually everything Arlene told the reporter was true. Well there goes that lawsuit. So now all of Hayley and Mateo's dirty laundry is aired to the world. I can't help but wonder why anyone outside (or inside for that matter) Pine Valley would care. But because it aired to the world, the syndicator of Hayley's show WAVE called to tell her she may be out of job because of a breech in the morality clause of her contract. Can an employer really fire someone for being a member of AA?? Now that sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. And how is that Hayley's show is being syndicated already, after it's been on like what? once?

I'm a little ahead of myself, the first thing we got to see last week was an extremely nauseating scene of Hayley groping Mateo while he's making oatmeal in his robe. And if that weren't disgusting enough, Tina stopped over with some really awful looking hairdo. She had the newspaper in hand and as soon as Mateo sees the headline, he morphs into Tony Soprano and yells, "She's dead to me! DEAD!" about Arlene. He wants to go and kill her now, but Hayley steps in and says..."she's mine!" and off she goes.

In the meantime, over at Casa Dillon, Arlene is all set to go do some grocery shopping for Janet when oops, she realizes she ran out of money about 2 months ago and asks Janet to spot her a few bucks. Janet stupidly gives her way more than she needs and Arlene gets visions of vodka bottles dancing in her head. Amanda comes home from school in the middle of the day, tells Arlene how much she loves her and then tells Janet that she hates her. Seems Amanda doesn't like being told that Trevor didn't give her the angel necklace she has. So she tells Janet that he left because of her and she doesn't love her anymore. Janet is crushed, but understands the trauma that Amanda is going through and gives her space.

That brings us to Hayley's confrontation with Arlene. Let me tell all you people who seem to think I hate Hayley that she was fantastic during these scenes. Both women were incredible but it's (now don't faint out there!) Hayley who gets this weeks PERFORMER OF THE WEEK award. I was glued to my seat as she came in and wasted no time getting straight to the point and ripping Arlene to shreds while Arlene stammered and stuttered, trying to explain her actions. Hayley takes Arlene to task for breaking her AA anonymity to the reporters and asks her if she realizes how serious that is. Shades of Adam Chandler surface here when Arlene replies, "Everything I do for you I do out of love." But Hayley just laughs at her and continues on her rampage, and damn was she brutal. I almost... and I repeat, ALMOST felt sorry for Arlene when Hayley called her an abomination, told her to leave town and not call her ever, told her she hates her, told her she would elope or cancel her wedding before she'd let her attend, and the biggest stab "I have everything I ever wanted. I just can never have a mother. And although you've given birth to me, if there is one thing I've realized, it's that any animal can give birth. But it takes a human being to be a mother." Ouch! She then tells her she is nothing to her and tells her once again to pack up and leave town.

Unfortunately Amanda hears the whole thing and gets so upset she runs off. When Janet can't find her, she comes back into the living room and asks if Hayley or Arlene has seen her, but they haven't. Suddenly Hayley gets a big pang of guilt because she didn't know that Amanda was home. Arlene slyly picks up on that and tells Hayley it's her fault that Amanda is gone and that Hayley scared her away. Arlene announces that she's going out to look for her. In the meantime Amanda is at the park, pleading with an invisible Trevor to take her away with him. She then finds Arlene sitting on a park bench in the park. They talk about the fight that she and Hayley had, and Arlene tells Amanda how lonely she is. Amanda tells Arlene that she loves her and that everything will be ok. It's right about here that I'm wondering if it was Arlene that took Amanda to get that manicure. Did you happen to see that kids nails??

When Janet arrives and finds Arlene and Amanda in the park, Amanda clings to Arlene and backs away from Janet. She tells Janet that she'll only come home if Arlene is allowed to stay. Janet reluctantly agrees and they head home. Once there, Hayley apologizes to Amanda. Amanda forgives Hayley and tells her she only came home because Janet agreed to let Arlene stay. Janet gives that helpless shrug and goes off with Amanda while Mateo and Hayley go another round with Arlene for using Amanda.

Later, having not lost her job, and instead being picked up by ABC, Hayley decides to have a mother/daughter fashion show on WAVE and asks Amanda and Janet to be on it. With her husband on the run for murder, one would think that Janet would want to keep a low profile, but instead she agrees to go on for Amanda's sake. But Amanda insists that Arlene come with them, so she and Hayley can model too. Oy vey, Janet knows this is a bad idea and so does Arlene but she doesn't care and decides to go to the studio. So, once there Amanda goes over to Mateo and Hayley (just why is Mateo there? He has his own business to run doesn't he?) and tells Hayley she brought her a present. Hayley asks, "oh? Animal, vegetable or mineral?" Just then Arlene walks in, and in an uncharacteristically humorous moment, Mateo says, "That would be animal." Of course Hayley doesn't let Arlene be on the show, and while she's watching from the background, Arlene starts to plot.

Ed gets more and more suspicious of Guy, with good reason really. The guy, uh Guy, is always sneaking around and coming up behind Alex or Edmund when they aren't paying attention. Well, Guy tells Alex that Scorpio has been broken and is ready to ride. What a suck up, that took all of about two weeks. Of course he was lying and when Alex got on Scorpio, the horse threw her. Guy carries Alex back into the tack room and wants to take a look at her ankle. I'm sure the stable hand knows more about sprains than the doctor does, so she lets him.

Over at the Hunting Lodge, Ed and Jack are talking and Jack thinks that Ed may be developing feelings to Alex, since he seems to have lost his objectivity. Ed tells Jack that Alex is all he has left. Wow, I bet that would make his children... you remember them, Sam and Maddie, feel really great, not to mention Gillian, Eugenia and Peggy. Tell it like it is Ed, Alex is the closest opportunity you've had to getting laid since Maria "died." But Ed tells Jack that he doesn't trust Guy and runs down to the tack room just in time to find Alex feeling up Guy's chest, checking out his ribs after Scorpio kicked him. Ed is really pissed that Guy let Alex ride Scorpio when the horse was not ready, but Alex tells Ed that it was her fault, not Guy's and that she spooked the horse. Ed leaves in a huff and Alex goes back to feeling up Guy.

Guy reports back to whoever it is he works for that Ed is becoming an obstacle and that he may have to remove him. And in the meantime, Alex is telling Ed that he's jealous of Guy, but Ed denies it and tells her that there is something about him that he just does not trust.

Alex has a dream that Guy is going to shoot Edmund, and in PV reality we see Guy cleaning and loading his gun while whistling a happy tune. Alex confides her fears to Jack, telling him about her dream and how she's afraid she has put Edmund in danger. Next thing I know, Alex and Ed are at the hospital and she's telling him that she's afraid of losing him. Ed assures her that nothing will happen to him. Just then, the little girl Karen that Alex took care of, finds Alex and Ed and wants to thank Alex for all the help she's given them. As Alex is talking to them, she has a vision of herself with a little girl who calls her mommy and hears herself say, "I love you Robin." After they leave, Alex is visibly rattled and tells Ed that she thinks she may have a child. She's freaked because she should remember and tells Ed that she sees him with his children and doesn't think a parent could ever forget that feeling. Huh? When does she see Edmund with his kids? Is that more visions or something? Just then, out of nowhere, Guy appears. Seems he was getting X-Rays of his chest when he saw Ed and Alex and decided to say Hi. Hi Guy! Thanks for stopping in!

Back at the Hunting Lodge, Edmund is more determined than ever to get to the bottom of Alex's mystery. Jack arrives and tells them that Adrian found out that Alex's records were never sealed after all, and that her doctor lied. Let me interject here for a moment... Ed and Jack talk about Adrian helping them all the time, but I have yet to see Adrian in any scenes with them at all! That's pretty damn lame. Can we please see Adrian helping out Ed and Jack please!? Anyway, Ed and Alex are more confused than ever and decide to head to Wales to confront Alex's doctor face to face, so Ed sends him an email that says they are on their way, and then leaves the computer on. After they leave, Guy breaks in, sees the message and makes a mysterious phone call and leaves. Then when no one is there, we hear the computer tell Edmund not to come, that there is danger everywhere. I wonder how I can set up my computer to do that.

Having called a meeting of the Chandler Enterprises Board, Tad goes into the meeting to tell them that he is suing Adam, the company and the whole board and gets set to show them the tape of Adam beating him up in jail. I'm wondering how Tad had any authority to call this meeting, but I guess that's beside the point. Liza bursts in and plays her part of the concerned wife and calls Tad an intruder. He informs her that he's going to sue Adam and the company and then does show them the tape. They are pretty shocked. Liza quietly, although loud enough for everyone to hear, pulls Tad aside and tells him that Adam can't take anymore stress in his life and that he's already lost his mind. Oops! She gets very nervous when she realizes the board heard what she said and tries to cover.

Barry arrives, and is all set to blow the lid off Tad and Liza's plan, but Tad takes Barry outside to uh, have a little chat with him, while Liza tries to smooth things over with the board. She plays it like she is trying to protect Adam. Tad comes back, looking a little disheveled (turns out he tossed Barry in a closet and locked the door!) just as Liza is proposing that she take over Chandler Enterprises and try to do some damage control. It seems that Adam is unbalanced and they can't afford to take any chances with Tad's lawsuit. Tad then chimes in with this weeks LINE OF THE WEEK, "You all saw the proof, Adam Chandler physically assaulting me. For God's sake I'm wearing a truss." Liza then makes Tad leave so she can try to convince the board that she should take over.

Liza tells them all that it would be in the companies best interest for her to take over as CEO and make sure that Adam's mental state not get leaked to the press, since that would cause a major nosedive in the stock prices. They finally agree and she brings Tad back in. She plays hardball with Tad to impress the board and tells him that if he drops his case against Adam and the company and give her the tape and any copies, she will not counter sue for blackmail and make his life miserable. Tad is stunned silent, the board applauds Liza and adjourns and then Tad moonwalks across the conference table.

Ahh, but Barry gets himself out of the closet Tad locked him in and comes back to tell them that he is calling Adam to tell him what they are up to. Liza isn't going to give up that easily and plays the money card, telling Barry that she'll raise his salary and give him a bonus. Barry easily caves, so Liza tells him that he now works for her and will have no more communication with Adam. Barry walks out with his tail between his legs and Tad and Liza discuss that they cannot trust him and it won't be long before he turns on them as easily as he turned on Adam. Tad asks Liza what their next move is, but Liza plays evasive, and isn't quite ready to divulge her whole plan.

Later, Marian makes her feelings known that she is not thrilled with this revenge plot, and that she especially doesn't like Tad and Liza plotting together. Tad basically tells her to get over it, and that Adam deserves everything he is getting. Just then Barry comes by to tell Liza that the board has called together an emergency meeting. They are having second thoughts about putting Liza in charge and want proof of Adam's instability. Liza rushes off to do some damage control with the board and when she comes back Tad and Marian are still at it. Marian tells Liza that she's going too far and that she is trying to destroy her feelings. In a very poor move, Liza tells Marian that she's doing all this because she loves Colby. Oops, that's using Adam's logic and bravo to Marian for calling her on it! She tells Marian that Adam has to pay for all the hurt he's caused them all. And then she makes both Tad and Marian promise that none of them will ever tell Stuart that Adam set Marian up. They all agree. Then the plan continues as Liza has Tad call Adam in his plane and tells him that he showed the board the tape of them in prison. Adam panics and has the pilot reroute them to Pine Valley. Hold on folks, this week is going to be a bumpy ride!

MEANINGLESS DRIVEL OF THE WEEK - Greenlee tells Gillian how much Ryan needs her and that their relationship is so much more than sex. How many times can we see her doing this and actually care?

Gillian meets Ruth for lunch and she tells Gilly that she talked to Jake and he's unsure when he's going to come back. She tells Gilly that she can tell she still has feelings for Ryan and she needs to sort all that out. In a tremendous use of AMC history, Ruth tells Gilly that she knows what it's like to be married to one man while you are yearning for another. Thanks for the blast from the past and the story flashback to the Ruth, Ted Brent and Joe Martin triangle. Anyway back to Gillian, maybe Jake should just get an annulment since he is able to forgive everyone involved but Gilly.

Erica is still playing with Paolo. She agrees to buy a villa in Italy somewhere, sight unseen and hands Paolo a check for $100,000 and he takes it without looking at it. Erica tells him he should take a good look at it, and it turns out to be a fake check. She then pulls a tape recorder out of the centerpiece and tells him she's going to turn him in for trying to con her. Good for Erica, she had him checked out and found out he's a con man. She may act like a 13 year old but she does use her brain once in awhile. But as Erica is giving Paolo the what for, he spots David walking into the room and plants a big old kiss on her. Erica turns around and see David skulking off and Erica says to herself, "wow he really does love me." OK Erica, here's your big huge colossal I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award. Did you actually have to see David visually angry and jealous to know he loves you?

Erica runs after David and tries to explain what happened, but he's so pissed off he won't even hear her out. He is sick of her childish behavior, her petty attempts to make him jealous, her total disbelief in his devotion to her. He's so sick of it in fact that he tells her they are through because he's sick of her juvenile behavior. Erica tries to tell David that she wasn't using Paolo, but that Paolo really cares about her. David isn't convinced and in classic Erica, before leaving, she proclaims "Losing me is going to be the biggest mistake of your life, David."

So what does she do next? She goes to Paolo and blackmails him into pretending to be her latest conquest. Why? Well to continue to make David jealous. And here's the funny part, even Paolo thinks she's being childish. But she gives him a check and that shuts him up. Erica then notices that he has lipstick on his hanky and tells him that he is to be seen with no other women while under her employ. He tries to pass it off as her lipstick but the nerve of that man! Erica would never wear such a garish color!

Well just who's garish lipstick was on Paolo's hanky? Well, let's look at the clues before we get to the person in question. Paolo leaves someone's room, very obviously having an affair with someone. Cut to Nessie rushing to meet PC for breakfast, very very late. PC comments about her looking flushed. Hmm, could it be that Vanessa is having an affair with Paolo? Let's continue... we have garish lipstick, Paolo talking to an unseen woman, Nessie flushed. Next thing we know we're back in Paolo's Valley Inn room and he's snorting up a line and who should come to the door, but yeah you guessed it, Nessie! She saunters over to Paolo, totally oblivious to the sniffing and snorting he's doing, and tells him to make her feel all better. Oh Nessie, you tramp. This, in my opinion, makes her prime suspect in the upcoming Paolo murder. This is my latest theory. Paolo is going to demand money from Nessie, and of course, she's not going to be able to get it. She's going to panic and end up killing him, probably by accident but she's the queen of panic and my guess is that Leo will stumble across the scene and end up taking the rap for her. Just a theory folks...anyone else?

Now, let's back up to Nessie and Palmer. PC is none too thrilled with Leo's lackadaisical attitude towards his job at Cortlandt Electronics and he tells her that he's tired of it and that Leo is fired. Nessie plays the hitman card and reminds Palmer that he tried to have her killed, so PC caves and Leo gets to keep his job. It's too bad that Leo doesn't want to keep the job at all and when he finally does join Palmer and Nessie, he tells them that he quit. Once PC leaves, Leo and Nessie get into it. Nessie tries to talk Leo out of quitting, but Leo tells her he's not qualified and doesn't want to work there. Nessie pleads with Leo that she's trying to secure their future in Palmer's will but she needs his cooperation and is the third one this week to use Adam's logic of "everything I do, I do for you." Hey AMC, come up with a new line huh? Leo is not impressed and takes off.

PC comes back and tells Nessie that if there aren't some changes made then their marriage is over. He's sick of her dysfunctional family dilemmas, he's sick of her making a mess out of everyone's lives, he's sick of her. Then he walks out on her, leaving her huffing and puffing and close to full panic. This is when she heads up to Paolo's room and asks him to make her feel all better. EW!

We had a real treat this week, we got to see Grace! I just love her and I'm so happy that AMC had her on even though her whole family is gone. She's at the community center talking to Tina, who as it turns out, volunteers there and teaches the deaf. She and Tina seem to be pretty tight, and she tells Tina that she deserves a good man. Tina asks about Belinda and Grace tells her that Belinda is engaged. Thanks for the update, now bring her back.

Adrian arrives with the SOS donation of cases of soft drinks for the center and is very surprised to find Tina there. She's all excited and wants to introduce him to Grace. Grace is not too pleased to see him though, and they pretend to not know each other. Once Tina goes off to do something, Grace and Adrian have a very uncomfortable discussion. She tells him that Belinda is getting married. Adrian is surprised and, it looks to me, like a mixture of sad and happy. Adrian tells Grace that he wasn't ready to settle down and Belinda knew that from the beginning. Grace tells him she's going to be keeping an eye on him and make sure he doesn't hurt Tina the way he hurt Belinda. I hope that means we'll be seeing more of her. OK I admit it, this is the first time I actually liked the character of Tina. She's a lot more tolerable when she's not scheming to get Mateo away from Hayley, I just didn't get that. And an exploration of her childhood could prove to be interesting.

Leo heads over the community center to see Becca. He's hiding out from all the people who are annoying him lately... Paolo, Nessie, PC, David. I'm sure no one would look for him there. He pretends he wants to help out so Grace makes him do just that. But being Leo, and allergic to work, he delegates his job of stuffing envelopes to Becca, Tina and Adrian. And in this weeks SCENE OF THE WEEK, while further avoiding work, Leo puts on some swing music and dances Becca around the community center. Not to be outdone, Adrian and Tina join the action and they have a little impromptu dance contest.

Before I end this marathon Editorial, I want to say how much I am warming up to the Leo/Becca pairing. I think he really does care about her, and she's starting to care about him more too. He's learning how to be more of a caring human being by her example. And besides that, Leo is infinitely more interesting than the stale and boring Scott. Which reminds, they had a party for him for being accepted to NYU Film School so just when is he going to go already? And so, the fact that Leo and Becca are cute, and fun, and have chemistry, and may just end up together means that when they do, and when they ultimately sleep together, Greenlee will come through and ruin the whole thing by telling Becca that they had a bet that he couldn't get her in bed, thus causing Becca great pain and hatred of Leo. Same old, same old.

This weeks AMC gets a B... I'm finding the show more and more interesting lately. I love the addition of Arlene. This plot against Adam keeps getting better and better. I loved that we got to see Grace this week and hope we can see more of her. I'm still pretty disinterested in the whole Alex is Anna nonsense though, and can you give Guy a haircut already?